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Bitch and Moan

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Date:May 30, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
11:03pm
Stuck in my head:
Shadowlands
In the cd player:
Kelis
Song lyric of the moment:

if you get down on me i'll get down on you
i will do anything that you want to do
its a game of give and take to make it through
if you get down on me i'll get down on you tonight
- before four (the dirty kinky song)
Book : A Heartbreaking Work Of Stagerring Genius by Dave Eggers
On the tube:
CityPulse
Random Quote:
"whoa look at your body" -- random lady at Gap
Anxiously Anticipating:
the end of school
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.babygap.com
Journal End Time:
11:30pm

i totally wasn't planning on updating but i had an amusing work story. so i get to work and end up in my favourite section - BabyGap. so i'm selling and this lady with a baby is there and so i greet them. then the lady comes up to me, looks me up and down and says "whoa, look at your body". so i was all paranoid because of my third nipple. allow me to explain. i got ice cream on my shirt today and so i was try to wipe it you and it ended up puckering and it looked like i had a third nipple. then she went on to make a comment about wishing she were young and beautiful again. i was thisclose to pissing my pants laughing. she was sooo friendly and funny. then i was getting socks for her and she comes up to me and was like i can't get over how stunning you are, but you must hear that all the time from the guys and that i must have them beating down my door. okay now THAT had me pissing my pants. the pee was warm and dripping down my leg... because if you know me, that ain't true. so then i'm in my section have this convo with this lady from florida about how i'm not allowed to date and how i don't care at all because i have better things to do with my time.

i loved that lady AND she gave me a HUGE sale. today my minimum was 609 and my incentive was around 720...but in my 3 hour shift i sold $816. score for me :-) i was soooooo happy. not only that but my UPT (units per transaction) was around 3.4 and the store is usually at around 2.5-3.0 so i was a very good seller girl. okay anothre funny moment. this couple comes in and the lady was like "i have a question" to which i replied "alrighty". big mistake. the husband thought that that was THE funniest thing and kept on making fun of me. it was yet another nerd moment.

speaking of nerd moments i had a good laugh with laura over the escapade that was yesterday. OMG my mom got to meet laura. they met in vancouver but my mom didn't remember her. according to my mom she is A LOT different from what she expected "she's actually pretty". i found that amusing.

oy vey. today i had THE biggest craving for ice cream so i bought me a tub of ben & jerry's at lunch (chocolate fudge brownie) and i sat on the front steps of my school and ate it. well i shared it with Johanna but i ate most of it. it was insanity. i can't believe that i ate ALL that ice cream. but it was sooooo yummy. just the thoughts of it makes me happy. so yay for ice cream.

stupid bio test tomorrow. i'm actually making study sheets for the freaking test. i NEED to do well on this. i have NO CLUE how i'm doing in bio but i know its not as good as first term (88%). i need a nice average for school because i'm sick of just doing okay. maybe my standards are too high. who knows.

OMG everyone come to my store and smell my manager. okay this is another work story...they seem to be replacing dance stories, n'est pas? anyhoo my manager nadia wears the nicest smelling perfume. for a while every time that i would work with her i'd smell this nice smell and not know what it was. so finally i realized that it was HER. and i've been loooking for a nice scent forever but haven't been able to find one. so i was walking with my mom the other day and i was telling her about my nice smelling manager, and my mom informed me that it wasn't psycho to ask her what she wore. the thing about the perfume is that it smells nice but it isn't a heavy smell. its just a light misty smell. so today as i was leaving i was talking to nadia and telling her how i hate my mom's perfume and that i want to get her a new one for her b-day and that i was wondering what she wore because it smells so light and pretty. she wears Perry Ellis 360. so if you are ever downtown come to my store, ask for nadia and smell.

you all realize that i'm joking. do not. i repeat DO NOT come into my store and sniff my manager...that would just be weird.

AHHHHHHHH school is almost over. can we see heaven appearing through the clouds?? i know that i can. no more school and a summer of working. should be nice. i picked up this other girl's shift on friday from 5-10. yay for money.

um yah....that is all. AHHHHHHH the britney spears song is coming on next. i'm obsessed with it. i've probably written about that before. it is SUCH a girl song. i mean the whole idea of unintentionally (kind of) leading boys on and being like oops did i do that. i LOVE it. go britney go.

okay night night folks and big up to me for updating so much recently :-) oh yah....send cosmic good luck vibes for my test tomorrow. maybe i'll send saskia cosmic vibes so she can wish me luck too....i mean since she does have tonyadar and everything. sorry, that was bitchy. i would like to announce that i am in no way, shape, or form making fun of her and her tonyadar. i'm just amused. not bitchy just amused.
ciao
tonya


Date:May 29, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
11:53pm
Stuck in my head:
Shadowlands
In the cd player:
Kelis
Song lyric of the moment:

y'all gonna make me lose my mind
up in here up in here
y'all gonna make me go all out
up in here up in here
ya'll gonna make me act the fool
up in here up in here
y'all gonna make me lose my cool
up in here up in here
-- DMX
Book : A Heartbreaking Work Of Stagerring Genius by Dave Eggers
On the tube:
i hear the Cheers themesong...
Random Quote:
"wanna lay?" -- pervy boy wearing a "lai" to me yesterday
Anxiously Anticipating:
nothing
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.babygap.com
Journal End Time:
12:26am

bonjourno,

just got back from seeing the Lion King. as some of you may already know i saw it in '98 in NYC for my 16th b-day. so seeing it this time was a bit weird just because i know that i'd already seen it, but my memory was kind of sketchy. basically my judgement of the show hasn't changed: it is a stunningly beautiful show but that is pretty much it. don't me wrong, i do enjoy it, but its not the type of show i could see again and again. the main reason that i saw it this time was to see Rhett George. man i love that boy. he is finger lickin' good. okay i'm joking, i wanted to see Saskia and the fact taht it was at the Princess was very cool. okay so here is my review.

the opening is absolutely stunning. it definitely sends chills up my spine, and i don't often get chills. it was almost worth the $90 just to see Gavin Hope as a rhino :-) performance wise the young nala and simba were pretty yuki. they weren't that cute and they couldn't sing at all. and i felt bad wanting to laugh becuase they are children. mufasaa has a very nice voice. it's all low and grumbly and just whoa. rafiki rocked. she was one of my favourites in the show. the hyenas were hilarious. and its so cool that their mouths can move like that. it takes some serious skill to work the puppets. timon and pumbaa were also very good...espcially timon. muy enjoyable. big simba wasn't A LOT better than i had expected. all the critics had said that he was not very good at all, but i found him pretty enjoyable. no jason raize, but still enjoyable. then we have saskia. whoa. i could leave it at that but i won't. she has this song called Shadowlands and its amazing. that girl can sing....and it's definitely NOT out tonight.

to sum up my shitty review, everything that you hear in the papers is true. the puppets and scenery are all what the critics say, and yes they are indeed amazing. julie taymor is extremely talented - and that of course is news to no one. the music is the music. it has a very disney-esque quality, but then they throw in these coolio african beats and stuff. so that is Lion King.

so of course after the show laura and i went to say hi to saskia. we felt like THE biggest nerds. there was NO ONE backstage besides cast people. i was cold because i was wearing a short skirt AND for some reason i am completely wiped out and could fall asleep any moment. so laura and i stood out there being complete nerds waiting for saskia to come out. saskia who i hadn't seen in over a year and realized that: whoa, i have nothing to say to her. so we waited. then she came out and said something to the effect that she could sense my presence in the audience. she knew i was there. and she was going on and on about it and laura and i must have been giving her the weirdest looks or something. but she didn't sense laura in the audience just me (i guess her rentdar was broken or something). the whole encounter was kind of bizarre. i was very unsocial because of my tiredness, laura was unsocial, and saskia was....well she was kind of weird. she whipped out her bro's wedding album and started showing us pictures for what felt like a while. but her bro is so very hot so it was all good. and his wife is cute and saskia was stunning (what else is new?). sothen she had to talk to some cast guy and laura and i were plotting ways to leave...but we ended up waiting til she was done. then she wanted to go over and say hi to our mothers who were standing around the corner and then it got quite so i was like we have to go because i have school. and that just led to confusion because i don't go to night school. so that was that. nothing particularly interesting, but the esp comment had me laughing in my head. how funny would it be if she had tonyadar or something? oy vey if she had tonyadar come to think of it. wow i feel like having a manchu wok picnic in the park girls. i would have liked to have seen her when i was awake, but such is life and another chapter gets closed. she looked shorter. i wonder if i got taller. who knows.

i'm so flipping tired it isn't even funny.

nothng else really to discuss. don't want to go to school tomorrow at all. i hate school. i'm working 4-7 with the an on-call from 7-10. i would like to have the O/C just for the money but it ain't gonna happen. the store is sooooooo slow right now we could have like two people working and things would be fine.

okay i'm going to bed because i feel SOOOOOOOO blah right now.

ciao
tonya


Date:May 28, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
11:13pm
Stuck in my head:
Macy Gray
In the cd player:
MAcy Gray
Song lyric of the moment:

y'all gonna make me lose my mind
up in here up in here
y'all gonna make me go all out
up in here up in here
ya'll gonna make me act the fool
up in here up in here
y'all gonna make me lose my cool
up in here up in here
-- DMX
Book : A Heartbreaking Work Of Stagerring Genius by Dave Eggers
On the tube:
the news?
Random Quote:
"wanna lay?" -- pervy boy wearing a "lai" to me yesterday
Anxiously Anticipating:
LION KING
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.babygap.com
Journal End Time:
11:52pm

hello everyone :-)

shocked to see anoher update so soon?? i know i know i rock don't i? i rock the party so hard it hurts. i'm a nutcase. i actually have stuff to update about...so woohoo.

first and foremost... I MET BRANDI. okay for all you people in our bizarre little internet circle, Brandi is this chic from Grand Rapids...actually, she isn't even THAT cool...she's from a SUBURB of Grand Rapids (can we spell loser :-) j/k). so anyhoo i supposedly met her last year when i was in Michigan but i don't really remember her, but i've been talking to her on the internet for the past year or something. so she comes to Toronto for the weekend with her little sister and since i wasn't working on saturday i met her, lisa, laura and amy downtown. i thought brandi was going to be a nerd but she wasn't :-) i'm so mean...but you know how when you talk to someone on the internet you don't know what they will be like in person...and sometimes there is no in person because they are fake (but that is a story for another day). well brandi is real and a bowl full of fun. we ended up hanging around eaton centre and queen west. we went to Gap on Queen where i tried on these little red shorts to go with my jacket and they were SOOOO hoochie but i kind of liked them. the hoochie shorts are a possibility now that i think of it. they are 29.99 then i get a 30% discount. maybe if they go down to 24.99 i'll get them. i played happy gappy helper and got everyone sizes and shared product knowledge :-) OMG OMG OMG guess what i saw. the mad dog and billie poster outside Roots on Yonge. i was shitting my pants. Mad Dog and Billie host the morning show on Kiss92 and i'm obsessed with them. so it was so funny to actually see what they look like. Mad Dog is ugly and funny looking and Billie is pretty. i had a lot of fun on saturday now that i think of it. i won't go into ALL he details..BUT i'm Brandi's bitch, so no one try to claim me because i'm hers. OMG we saw Centre Stage. i LOVED it. and yes i realize that i'm a super geek burger with cheese and a side of fries. it was cute and the boy who wasn't Cooper or Sergei and who wasn't the black guy was VERy hot and so was Maureen's boyfriend. AHHHHH omg so we are leaving Fairview after the movie and heading over to Laura's car when she says something to the effect of "oh look at those steamy windows, i met someone is having fun in there". so we get to the car (parked RIGHT beside laura's) and there is a couple making out. i found that soooo funny. the windows really WERE foggy...i didn't know that that actually happened and that people "got it on" in mall parking lots. there was a definite kinkiness factor there that was also very amusing. then of course laura forgot to open our doors so brandi, lisa and i are standing outside shrieking because a.)there are people getting it on in the car next to us and b.) it was fucking freezing. so that in a nutshell was saturday.

i got home at like 12 or 12:30 and SNL was on. i'm obsessed with that show all of a sudden. Ben Affleck (yum) was hosting so that was enjoyable. and they had the horny couple skit that always makes me laugh. this time they were at a car dealership and the wife made the husband "go down" and find the windshield wiper button. it was hilarious. i totally kill the funnyvibe when i attempt to describe SNL.

so today went to dance. it was horrid. the combo threw me off. we won't discuss dance. and my clara wasn't at balle :-( clara is the chic from work who dances at randolph and has a one year old daughter. she is sooooo sweet. and we always look for each other at dance and we ALWAYS miss each other it feels like. and we had both promised that we would be there on sunday but she wasn't. we enjoy clara...she also taught me a trick on how to avoid having to perfect fold an entire stack of pique polos...so we love hr for that because perfect folding is a bitch.

AHHHHHHHHH so after class my mom met me so we could buy allergy tablets (yes we turn EVERYTHING into a group outing). so we went to dufferin mall and as i'm walking by Payless i see a pair of shoes that look like my red loafers, but they are black. so i look at them and realize that they aer only 15$ and i bought hem. they are sooooooo stylin and soooooooo cheap. that is the second pair of stylin' shoes that i have found at payless within hte past 2 months. it is SUCH a good feelin' to buy shoes for 15$. i swear my faith in this country has been restored.

okay so on to my conflict of the evening. so there were two things going on tonight. first miss siona jackson was having this soiree thing for her dance company. her bf was going to sing, and there was a jazz band, tarot card readers, massager people, and two dance companies including hers. BUT there was also a GapKids get together at Gabby's on Bloor. of course they started at the same time BUT siona's thing cost 20$ and the Gap thing was FREE. so my mom said that i should go to he Gap thing and be social and have free food so that she wouldn't have to cook dinner :-) so i went to Gap and had a really fun time. it was very interesting to see everyone out of the environment. and i didn't realize that the reason for the festivities was because Katherine the manager was leaving (quelle shock). i LOVE katherine she is so funny and goofy and makes me laugh. and she makes the schedules and she changed my name for me. so it is not a good thing that she is leaving. it's a BAD thing. so lets have a moment for the departure of katherine. so we all just sat around and talked and played video games and pinball and stuff...it was cool. everyone had all these random and HILARIOUS stories about racoons and being drunk. i've never laughed so hard. tony (one of the managers) ahd this story about trying to cross the street and this homeless guy whispering to him and asking if he wanted to smell his panties. oy...piss was dripping down my leg. there were a lot more people there then i thought would be, and clara was there so i got to yell at her. and all the young new people were there so that was VERY good. and that is my story about that.

tomorrow nadeen and i have our preview for our drama teacher. she hasn't paid ANY attention to us all unit because we are the good and independent and reliable students. so we have gotten ZERO guidane or direction from her. it will be interesting to hear what she has to say about our scene tomorrow. i have to be at school for 8am. its now 11:41pm and i still have stuff to get done, but of course i'm sitting on my lazy ass updating. i feel so behind in everything. i've just had the lousiest bout of laziness so i've done very little work over the past month and its REALLY hard to get back in gear. and now my foot is asleep. crap.

i made souvlaki today. on my george foreman grill. scrumptious. have i mentioned that i rock?? OMG OMG OMG wanna know what i DID forget to mention? NATALIE. she joined us on saturday to see centre stage. she is cool because she has cool music tastes and can sing along with the new eminem song. so props to natalie. and props to Hillary who is cool because she is down with eminem too. she seems to think that she is the REAL slim shady...but she isn't. she just wishes that she was.

okay and off to do other things now. night night.
tonya :-)


Date:May 27, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
11:49m
Stuck in my head:
that new DMX song
In the cd player:
Mya
Song lyric of the moment:

y'all gonna make me lose my mind
up in here up in here
y'all gonna make me go all out
up in here up in here
ya'll gonna make me act the fool
up in here up in here
y'all gonna make me lose my cool
up in here up in here
-- DMX
Book : A Heartbreaking Work Of Stagerring Genius by Dave Eggers
On the tube:
BET
Random Quote:
"wanna lay?" -- pervy boy wearing a "lai" to me yesterday
Anxiously Anticipating:
dance class, either Gap dinner or siona's show, Red Lobster, LION KING
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.babygap.com
Journal End Time:
1:17pm

bonjourno,

well sad to say that nothing too exciting has been happening recently. i have no conquests or tales of woe to discuss really. i'm not too sure what exactly i have been up to. school has been pretty blah. since most of my classes are OACs no one is assigning homework or projects or anything so i've been kind of schlepping around.

yesterday was SpringFest at my school. it's the day where we get the afternoon off and there is this carnival type thing on the field and in the courtyard. being a distinguished member of the GAC and ujaama i had to help with not only the BBQ but also with the "taste of paradise". our school is so stupid. instead of cancelling the afternoon classes they decided to stick all five classes into a 2.5 hour space....making each class 30 minutes. it was sooooo pointless.but i only went to one class because i was excused to help set up. SpringFest ended up being kind of fun...but not the tons of fun promised. the highlight for me was the cotton candy machine. it was sooooo yummy and cheap. i always forget how good cotton candy is. at one point i was eating mine and Boy (who shall remain nameless) walks by and says hi and i offered him some and he took a HUGE mouthful, so i called him a pig. then he looks at me and says "do you want a lay?" it was really funny and random and out of the blue. it turns out that he was wearing a "lai" and was offering it to me. ohhhhhh we got our yearbooks. and my whoring in front of the camera paid off...i'm in it SOOOOO many times. the funniest is this picture of me and Elvira at Gobblefest eating hotdogs and looking SOOOOO piggish. but its still kind of cute.

i have an on-call for work today. that basically means that i'm not sure if i'm working until 2 hours before the shift is supposed to start. kind of annoying. actually, very annoying. i could have plans for today but i won't be sure until 1pm. c'est la vie. the store has been soooooo slow. i came sooooo close to making my minimum yesterday but i was off by $30. what sucks even more is that i had two people come thisclose to buying stuff but then they decided against it. and next week they have given everyone sooooooo few hours, it's ridiculous. even the fulltimers have no hours. next week i'm scheduled for 3 hours with the possibility of 10 including O/Cs. but despite all that i still like work. the funniest was that last night it got really slow so Nadia (my favourite manager) put me in the staff lounge and had me watching not one, not two, but THREE Gap videos. one was on loss prevention, one on safety, and the other on BabyGap. 45 minutes of video. they honestly weren't that boring, but they were kind of pointless. actually first Rob put me in the back to watch the first two, then nadia highly recommended that i watch the BabyGap video. then after it was done she was asking all these follow-up questions about how i liked it and stuff and did i find it useful. so of course me being my ever eager to learn self exclaimed over how USEFUL i thought the BabyGap video was because it gave me A LOT of VALUABLE product knowledge to pass off on consumers. and i really enjoyed the ideology behind the construction of the garments because it gave me insight into the use of snaps over buttons and why there is a button at the back of shirts (to fit big baby heads). don't get me wrong, i did find it all interesting, but i wasn't extremely enthused by the whole thing. i love nadia because she gets sooooo excited over the little things like that or asking questions and being a self starter. now THAT is the big one. on my first shift working with her i was in girls and while i was helping someone she came and dumped a bunch of tanks in my section. and without her having to tell me i went and got hangers from the back and hung them all up. okay i'll tell you guys this other story but it makes me sound like SUCH a nerd. so we had this staff meeting and we talked about productivity and goals and all that stuff. so the next day (being the superb gap employee that i am) i CALLED nadia up and was like hey thanks for the meeting it really put things into perspective and made things a lot easier to understand. mwah ha ha. then she went on about how that made her feel good to know because people don't always call with compliments and stuff. hehe so score for me. and those are my tales from the Gap.

remember back in the day when my journal used to be witty and amusing? what happened to me? i've lost my spunk and my spark. i apologize.

i haven't been dancing in AGES it feels like. and i haven't taken siona's class in what seems like forever and several halves. and the funny thing is that i keep on walking by Kilo on Yonge and i see her in the window eating and it always makes me wish i had the time to take her class. but since next week will be beyond slow at work i can take her class. i'm taking retardo class on sunday to get back in the groove and then i'll probably take a class on friday or something. i need to get back in shape. apparently siona is having a show (that costs $20 at kilos) on sunday. problem. also have Gap dinner thing on sunday. decisions decisions.

i'm SO obsessed with that new Eminem song. and the fact that i have the mp3 AND that it's on the radio every two seconds doesn't help at all. i saw the video for the first time today...i was pissing my pants laughing. he makes fun of Britney Spears, Christina Aguliera, Will Smith and all those Boy Groups. love me some eminem. AND he's coming to Toronto as part of the Up In Smoke Tour this summer. the tour has like Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Warren G and a whole bunch of other hard rap people that i don't listen to. so i don't think i will be going to see eminem....plus i have no one that would come see eminem with me. plus i hate buying tickets to things...pisses me right off. There is this song by Kelis that i LOVE so much right now that they don't EVER play on kiss except for maybe on that LATE LATE night rap and r&b show. it's so pretty and funky i think its called "get along with you". and i like that new song by Mya i have Mya's first cd but i never listened to it. maybe i will try it right now. okay its in right now....good beat. nice to bounce to. i want to buy soooooo may cds right now its not even funny.

tom cruise is sexy. i always forget that he is, but he most definitely is hotness. i didn't like the first Mission Impossible movie BUT i'm considering seeing this one strictly for the Tom Cruise factor. and i love that he is married to Nicole Kidman and that they adopted two kids. and that Tom Cruise saves people's lives. let's all have a moment and think about tom cruise. i need a new obsession person. like i'm still into George Clooney and stuff, and i'll forever love latinos as a whole....but i need a new little teenybopper obsession thing. any suggestions?? maybe eminem...i dunno. we shall see.

actually....i'm obsessed with...LORILEE. her journal makes me pee my pants. and she always talks about things that are so relevant. i love her whole sexy songs/songs to have sex to. i honestly have FITS reading her journal. and the whole thing about her taking AquaFit with all the nonnas. so we are contemplating marrying lorilee becuase she rocks.

ummmm seeing lion king on monday. more importantly, going to red lobster on monday :-) i'm so excited for my rolls. they make me soooooo happy. and those little garlic broiled shrimp. heavenly. okay i'm excited for lion king too :-) first of all its an AMAZING show. i mean its visually stunning with a cool score. AND saskia is in. so that should be kind of interesting....since i haven't seen her in a year. actually a little over a year. hehe laura remind me that i have to introduce myself to her :-) hell will be raised if she isn't in it. ummmm i saw gavin hope by my school the other day. he's in it too.

what else do i have to talk about??? nothing really. so i will be off. i'm not working my on call....soi have a day of fun that awaits.

have a wonderful day everyone:-)

tonya


Date:May 24, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
4:39pm
Stuck in my head:
the new Eminem song
In the cd player:
Fiona Apple (old school)
Song lyric of the moment:

my bum is on your lips
my bum is on your lips
and if i'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
-- Eminem,(repeat engagement because i love that line)
Book : A Heartbreaking Work Of Stagerring Genius by Dave Eggers
On the tube:
Y & R
Random Quote:
"was that your mom or a BOOTY CALL?? tonya's getting some booty guys" -- chickiet at school after my cell went off at a weird time.... so now i'm in the booty call business
Anxiously Anticipating:
working again :-), taking a dance class because i never get to go anymore, the end of school and my trip
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.gap.com
Journal End Time:
5:33pm

oy i'm such a horrible updater. stop yelling at me folks, i'm just a busy girl. a busy girl in the big city. what have i been up to over the past two weeks you guys must ALL be wondering. well let me tell you :-)

okay last weekend was Jamaica weekend. it wasn't as bad as last time. i actually had some fun. so we got there on friday in the late afternoon so we just checked into our hotel and walked up the street to discover that there were a trillion fast food restaurants. so i had Burger King and was VERY impressed by the size of their meat :-) how dirty does that sound? but for real, the patty was huge and it went all the way to the edge of the bun. scrumptious. but the coke tasted like shit (but it is shit austin...oh that explains it then). so la la la i went to bed early after reading some Alias Grace which i enjoyed and will discuss later. so saturday was wedding day. we woke up normal time and took a taxi to the shopping district. shopping my ass. it was horrid. i swear there were like ten thousand jewellery stores. their shopping is A LOT different from what we are used to here. then we were walking down the street and hadn't had breakfast so we ought the most delicious pineapple from this guy on the street (it is normal to buy fruit from guys off the street). so we kind of just walked around and avoided being hit by cars because drivers there are on some fucked up crack. so we went back to our hotel, and since i was still in absolute awe of the Burger King meat i had another Whopper. made me sooo happy. then we had naptime before the wedding. the wedding was my first real wedding and i wasn't happy with it. i watch too much tv. so much tv that i'm easily disapointed by reality :-) so now im' taking control of my sisters wedding and making sure that it is not only like TV but also like an issue of InStyle :-) so whatever... i was very anti social the whole evening because i have issues with the family. the reception was bad but i found out later that the people at the banquet hall were crookish and nothing happened the way it was supposed to. that brings us to sunday. so at this point i'm basically refusing to do ANYTHING that i don't want to because iw as FORCED to go to jamaica for the wedding and that was the only thing in my "contract". so i didn't go to the family's place at like 7am to have breakfast...i had a nice sleep-in. so when my mom and my sister came back we went to Burger King (gotta have my daily whopper) and then my mom and sister were to meet up with the family and go to the beach. i instead stayed at the hotel and had an AWESOME time. i totally chilled. i finished Alias Grace AND The Testament, i watched How Stella Got Her Groove Back AND As Good As It Gets, i sat on our balcony and watche dthe mountains, i had Haagen Dazs ice cream and walked by the pool. it was very relaxing. then they came back and brought be back some friend fish from the beach which was delicious. that evening we went up the street to this street festvial thing and we had jerk chicken and listened to music. ahhhh the Wailers played and we could here them from our hotel room. this brings us to monday aka departure day. hehe i had Burger King again :-) and there was an ordeal and we almost missed our plane because airport people tend to be stupid. but we made it back home safe and sound.

okay so the tv tehre was amazing because not only was it american channels BUT it was NYC american channels so i got to watch NBC channel 4 which is my favourite :-) they also had BET so i got my music video fix. i'm obsession song is WHOA. its soooo funny. i think i will use that as my new expression. whoa. who saw SNL on saturday? it wasn't that great but it had a few of my fave skits. like the one with Cheri Oteri where she is teh dirty wife and her and her hsuband always use sexual language. they were playing puttputt and it was sooooo funny. and also the singing old people were on. i was PISSING my pants. they sang Thong Song and the new B.S. song. i wet the bed i was laughing sooo hard. AND OMG MARLEE MATLIN WAS ON THE PRACTICE. i'm OBSESSED with her. you know her...she is that deaf actress. she was sooooo good on it. and Lindsay and Billy(or whatever his name is) got married. then on the plane ride home Marlee Matlin was on Seinfeld. then i found out that Marlee Matlin came into my store on sunday while i was out of town :-( that made me sad.

Don't bother reading The Testament by John Grisham. kind of slow and crappy. you could skip the middle and go right to the end and not really miss anything. Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood was really good. everyone should read it. its based on a true story and it really made me want to go out and learn more about the main character. very worth while.

LORILEE: that Chantal Kreviazuk song from Providence is on her new Cd colour moving and still (or something like that) BUT its only on the bonus cd that comes with it. so there is your answer. and RICKy i do read your journal still.

i lost the student council election by less than 20 votes. and since it was only do of us running there was no re-vote thingy. how funny is that? so next year i'll work on the school show instead.

elvira got the job at GapKids. it will be an interesting summer i think. i'm loving work. its alot of fun and the people are cool. i worked last night from 5:30-10:30. the store was BEYOND slow and we spent soooooo much time doing boxes which i swear is punishment. i bought orange capris and i LOVE them no matter what anyone says.....i KNOW they are bright and i like them that way :-) we had a staff meeting the other day and it was soooooo long, but at least they kept us fed with junk food. we mostly went over productivity stuff so it wasn't all that exciting. and i've had to change my name to work at Gap because there is confusing among which tonya is which PLUS there is another tonya coming aboard and so my sales aren't always under MY name..so i'm using my middle name now.

i'm eating the most delicious dinner right now. i'm having grilled salmon, asparagus and wild rice. it is VERY delicious. and of course there is a coke to go along with ;-)

school is so beyond tedious right now. we are doing NOTHING in most classes. maybe i won't go to english tomorrow morning. another sleep in day would be nice. and we have been doing presentations on Alias Grace since the beginning of the month and now its just getting ridiculous. i hate english. at least exam schedule is out. my last exam is the 23rd (yuck). BUT that means that i won't have to rush my weekend because i'll be out of town. i'm going to NYC/Dc. i'm seeing Vagina Monologues starring Calista Flockhart (FIRST row baby) and then i'm seeing AIDA (first row balc) :-) mucho excited. and i'll probably get my hair done as well. maybe i'll get braids that are a wee bit smaller. we'll see what happens.

okay i'm to go babysitting (joy)
tonya


Date:May 17, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
7:44am
Stuck in my head:
the new Eminem song
In the cd player:
Macy Gray (i love her soooooo much)
Song lyric of the moment:

my bum is on your lips
my bum is on your lips
and if i'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
-- Eminem,(repeat engagement because i love that line
Book : The Testament by John Grisham(not really) AND Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
On the tube:
Today show
Random Quote:
"was that your mom or a BOOTY CALL?? tonya's getting some booty guys" -- chickiet at school after my cell went off at a weird time.... so now i'm in the booty call business
Anxiously Anticipating:
buyine more clothes and AHWOSG for a mere $10 (big up Indigo Circle rewards)
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.gap.com
Journal End Time:
7:58am

Oy, i got many a comment on my last journal. people said i sounded bitter and stressed. hehe. oops :-) no i'm fine....really. i'm just bored. and i haven't done homework in ages because there is nothing but my Media ISU which i swear will NEVER get done. i think i might not write a script anymore. i dunno...we'll see waht happens.

had student council speeches yesterday. i didn't actually write a speech. i kept on meaning too...but yah that just never ended up happening. but i went up there and worked my magic. it wasn't bad speaking in front of the whole student body. we had two assemblies, a junior one and a senior one. the senior one was so fun because i had so many people screaming for me...which is SUCH a bizarre feeling. so we will wait it out and see what happens with elections.

LOVE work. yes i do indeed. i've worked 3 times and it has been cool. the people, espcially the managers all seem very nice and helpful. it's just a really cool enviornment to work. i don't know how other retail places are....but Gap just seems soooo amazing. i worked on sunday from 10:45am-6:45pm. oy vey. soooo long. but so fun. met some of the most amazing kids. i had a lot of fun.

sorry this update is short and shitty. i lack motivation. i took lea's class yesterday. oh lea. her class is always interesting. my friend Johanna was tehre with me...we had fun. i bought a pecan tart before class and half of it is in my fridge at the moment. had a 3 hour staff meeting. looooong but they had candy so it was all under control.

ahhhhh soooo many things i want from Gap right now. i want the orange capris, this black see-through shirt that looks stunning with a black tank top underneath, and these jeans because i need pants.....oh yah i want khakis as well. damn that 50% discount....causes mayhem and ruckus all around. i will buy things in chunks.

okay off to school.

tonya :-)


Date:May 11, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
10:43pm
Stuck in my head:
the new Eminem song
In the cd player:
the old Eminem cd ( because i've decided he is my new object of affection)
Song lyric of the moment:

my bum is on your lips
my bum is on your lips
and if i'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
-- Emine,
Book : The Testament by John Grisham AND Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
On the tube:
ER (taping it)
Random Quote:
"was that your mom or a BOOTY CALL?? tonya's getting some booty guys" -- chickiet at school after my cell went off at a weird time.... so now i'm in the booty call business
Anxiously Anticipating:
work tomorrow, the weekend, getting some (yah right), lots of sleep
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.gap.com
Journal End Time:
11:35pm

oy vey, things are so fucking hectic. i'm so overwhelmed, but bored at the same time. i've been wanting change...BIG change..and i guess it's all starting to happen with the new job thing. i'm just a very frustrated girl right now. frustrated on so many different fronts... school, people, extra-curics....other stuff... i just don't know what i want anymore. and i'm realizing that i have VERY little control over everything in general. i'm slowly realizing how much i HATE school... i can't stand the thought of going to class everyday. now i'm thinking how can i do this for another year of high school PLUS 4 + years of university. how will i not go crazy?? and why do i have to want to have a big profession....why can't i just be a stay at home mom? how is that not respectable anymore? i long for the fucking 50s when that was an option. why isn't it an option? i've started skipping classes (insert gasps here). i skipped bio on wednesday and meant to skip english today but i forgot :-) and i hate running for student council. i won't win and that frustrates me. i'm running against an asian guy,,, and my whole school is asian and so he has the inside track. fucking frustrating and i don't want the humiliation of losing....eventhough it isn't that big a deal. and i want to go to formal soo badly this year but i have no reason to. and the only reason i want to go is because people that i'm half friendly with are going. not like i have anyone to go to prom with...not that i WANT anyone to go with. i hate boys. not in a man hater way....just in a fuck them kind of way. and what the fuck is up with me being FORCED to go to jamaica?? can someone explain THAT to me. i protested endlessly and i'm still fucking going. why does my voice mean NOTHING at all?? i feel like a little helpless ant who sees the shoe coming and can't do a single solitary thing about it. and sucks to be you just came on the radio...how appropriate. i have NO desire to go to my chauvinist pig uncle's wedding in Jamaica next weekend AT ALL. i was traumatized by the last visit...and DON'T want to deal with going back there. i even made up brilliant stories of my trauma but NO ONE cares. no one at all...not my mom not my sister. they are all giant pussies. i'm boycotting them. i'll just sit here with my george foreman grill and GAP brochures and be happy. and the worst is my mom is pretending to semi-care by making me good dinner...but its so fucking pointless. people in general are just such asses.

and what is with all the emotional television?? first party of five ends and it was soooo sad. now carole is leaving ER. insanity. i can't deal with all this stresss. and i just heard the last bit of ER and i'm sooooo happy....because something good happens and i was peeing my pants eventhough i didn't really watch the episode because i was taping it.

i love my george foreman grill. it allows me to make good food fast. i just made a hamburger and fries. its my big obsession right now. and it makes everything healthy because the grease drips out. its wonderful. except i was over anxious and didn't let my fries cook enough so they are cold in the middle. at least they aren't frozen.

i start at GapKids tomorrow. 7 until 10. should be interesting. im' shitting my pants i'm so scared. how do i do a job that isn't babysitting?? at least all the people seem really nice...as for now anyway. i really don't know what to expect. i had training last night. it was fun. we learned all the sneaky gap selling techniques that i'm not at liberty to discuss. Gap seems cultish. i used my discount today to make me happy. sad isn't it that i substitute happiness with material goods...but such is life. i bought the red jean jacket and these black boot cut capris. absolutely stunning. my style seems to be changing. i'm going away from the more preppy look to the conservative funk. okay not conservative...a bit flashy. wearing things a little tighter...a little shorter... it makes things interesting. so we are enjoying the Gap discount thing...a lot. it is so nice to get 50% off. yay gap.

who the hell is dj-ing on kiss right now??? i have NO clue which chic this is. i don't like her at all. actually, i lie. i'm just sad because its not Billie or Suga. yes i am down with all the Kiss92 DJ lingo...how sad is that?? at least i'm not a radio whore. ummm speaking of whores...i'm 40 something year old frumpy media teacher was wearing a SEE-THROUGH shirt. you could see the laciness of her friggin bra. it was disgusting. not only that but she was nippy, to which i exclaimed "her nipples are so fucking huge". they were though...it was SCARY. she is some sort of freaky nature beast. i dunno....i just don't like her. i need to write a script for that class. have not started. due in 12 hours. will not be handed in tomorrow. anyone have a script that they would like to let me use to hand in?i would love you for ever and would pay you in anyway.... money, food, crafts, sexual favours... oh and you all think i'm joking? i'm SO not. i have NO desire to write a script for that ho bag.

speaking of media...the god of media, mr. reed is so funny. i always get into the most embrassing/silly situatins with him. one day i was in guidance (he's also a councellor) and i was in desperate need of finding my friend. so i run into the office all frantic and ask if she was there, and she wasn't. so under my breath i started cursing (not intentionally). and he was like "tonya i can hear everything you are saying". he's funny. then today i was getting an option sheet for my friend who hadn't handed one in yet (they were due in january i think). and so he was giving us a hard time (as a joke) and trying to figure out if i was adeliquant non option sheet hander inner. okay it was funny if you were there.

i'm so tired. i need sleep. actually i need a dance class. i good hard dance class. i hate babysitting. it makes me so mad and i have very litttle patience for it anymore. today, christine was refusing to get out of the bath tub. and so i was like "fine christine, don't get out now. you can just sit there and rot in your own filth in a tub of tepid water. when you look like a little prune and your head is sucked into your neck THEN you'll get out." hmmm can we smell the frustration? i think i just need a break from everything and most people. i've kind of been hanging out at a different place at school and with a semi new group of people...but i dunno.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH there is a dance movie out right now. i'm shitting my pants. i MUST see that. its called Centre Stage. i saw the preview before and it is so my movie of the moment. okay so its a cheesy teeny bopper movie...but its all about dancing. and a girl that dances. and a girl that meets a boy dancing. i must see it. i hate paying for movies though. maybe i'll guilt my mom into it....oh i dunno...it own't work.

im seeing lion king in 18 days. rent is coming back. jamie and i are feeling nostalgic and may have to close our eyes and buy $50 tickets. and lauren mcleod wants to come beause she hasn't seen rent and she thinks that "it is a moving symbol of our times". i could see her getting into it. elvira is boycotting rent. so it will be me, jamie, and lauren which is a weirdo group of people. we are all friends, but together. it should be fun.

i lvoe the new britney spears song. it so accurately sums up sooooo many girls (me included). the whole idea of playing games and leading people on.. then being all like oops i didn't mean to. i love it. i think it should be the girls' anthem. now THAT would be funny. boys are so silly. i'm not that innocent....

okay i should go to bed or something before my head fucking explodes all over the computer. wow, i sound disgruntle don't i? i apologize. i love you all. AHHH my other favourite song is by this guy Joe....its so fucking sweet:
i want to know what turns you on/ and i want to know what makes you cry/ so i can be the one that always makes you smile. its SUCH a mack song. this joe fellow sounds suave. and i like the Christina Aguliera song....i turn to you. its pretty. and i like Pink...she rocks, and i'm stillin denial that she is white...i'm sorry but diva child MUST be mixed. her voice doesn't sound white...it's too rich. i dunno...

AHHHHHH jennifer lopez is in my city. how crazy???? i meant to go find her on tuesday because i took the afternoon off because i didn't feel like being in school...but then i got distracted and didn't. she went to Roots and tried on clothes. Kiss92 is trying to find her. i wonder why she is here...i love me some lopez. i want my eminem song to come on right now. i love me some eminem right now.
okay....to bed.
tonya


Date:May 4, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
12:13am
Stuck in my head:
the new Eminem song
In the cd player:
Jennifer Lopez
Song lyric of the moment:

none today
Book : The Testament by John Grisham AND Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
On the tube:
the news
Random Quote:
i had a quote but i forgot to write it down
Anxiously Anticipating:
Mosaic, Gap for various reasons, getting all my work out of the way
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.gap.com
Journal End Time:
12:59am

hehe have i mentioned that i rock recently? well i do :-) guess who has a job at her favourite store. well... not me...seeing as i don't shop at GapKids. but i DID get a job at GapKids on Bloor St. how thrilling is that? so they want me to start soon, which is kind of scary seeing as how i've NEVER had a real job like this before. but they have these classes you have to go to to learn about selling. i think its called Elements of Selling or something like that. how cultish is that? its so funny...i've had 3 GAP interviews in the past week. on my way to an interview on tuesday i checked my phone messages and realized that i had a job at the GAP that i actually wanted to work at. but i went to the interview anyway and had lots of fun because there was the most idiotic guy getting interviewd at the group interview. so today i had to go in to the store (MY store) and pick up my employee handbook. i've been flipping thru it and its sooo interesting. it kind of reveals the behind the scene stuff that goes on at GAP and why the employees are the way they are. its amusing me to no end. Gap knows how to take care of employees. first of all employees (ONLY) get a 50% discount off 6 tops and pants, and 3 accessories per month. and 30% off there after. its so funny, they keep your sizes on file to make sure you are buying stuff for yourself. and the pay is very good for retail. its significantly above minimum wage, and that makes me happy. and Gap hires hot boys so that makes life interesting as well. i was the kid in grade 3 who said that when she wanted to grow up she'd work at gap :-) well now i'm grown up i guess...scary.

OMG speaking of hot boys. actually i'll tell my hot boy story later. let me tell you my pervy teacher story first. my english teacher is a perv. he manages to relate EVERYTHING to sex. i'm not joking. even the most insignificant quote, he takes it and makes it sexual. its very very inappropriate. its come to the point that we have made a nickname for him and his perviness. it is soooooo frustrating. and his pervyness isnt' even cute...he's old. well not even that old..he's a babyboomer. but its YUKI. on a happier note i've seen Mr. Happy Socks many times this week for some odd reason. he's soooo dirty but SUCH a hottie (i hate that word SOOOOO much but its so appropriate). i was hanging around GAC office during badminton practice bcause i had an interview after school and there he was watching the practice because he is SUCH a perv. and apparently he doesn't talk to girls in their faces...but i'm sure that is just an exaggeration of the truth. he's a nice guy...i think. i mean he always smiles and says hi, unlike MOST teachers...but it could SO be the perviness factor. today i was with my friend before school started and we saw him and he was talking to this girl and so we kept on walking past like we didn't see him (and didn't want to seem stalkerish). but as soon as we walked past he started walking behind us. so we just kept walking minding our business and stopped at my friend's locker. then HE stopped and started talking to random guys in the hall, but kept on glancing at us over his shoulder (thank god for the security mirrors in the halls). to make a long and tedious story short we didn't talk to him.

wow, that was a really long paragraph about nothing.

i really just wanted to write about how i got a job. i have so much shit to get done right now. crud. i need to start campaigning for student council. i won't win because i'm running against this asian guy and my whole school is asian. oy.

i'm off.
tonya


Date:April 30, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
9:05pm
Stuck in my head:
Try Again by Aaliyah
In the cd player:
Faith Evans
Song lyric of the moment:

what would you do to get to me
what would you say to have your way
would you give up or try again if i hesitate to let you in?
--
and if at first you don't succeed you can dust youself off and try again
dust yourself off and try again, try again
--
if you don't want to throw it all away
i might be shy on the first date, what about the next date?
huh? Huh? Huh? HUh?
f you don't want to throw it all away
i might be buggin on the first date, what about the next date?
huh? Huh? Huh? HUh?
-- Aaliyah
Book : The Testament by John Grisham AND Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
On the tube:
who knows
Random Quote:
i had a quote but i forgot to write it down
Anxiously Anticipating:
GAP interviews, student council election stuff, Mosaic, summer
Link Me Baby One More Time:
no link
Journal End Time:
12:23am

i'm so obsessed with music right now. i spend soooo much time listening to the radio and watching dirty dirty dirty music videos. there is a serious abundance of video hos out there...kind of yuki. there are only so many girls that you can watch shaking their groove thangs all around...disturbing. but wh you get over it after a while. i want a cd burner sooooo badly. i would make the most kick ass music mixes AND clear space off my harddrive. i REALLY want the new Toni Braxton cd. her single "he wasn't man enough" or whatever its called is just SOOO good. now that is such an ass shaker song. its a get up and dance song and sing along. its on the radio right now. i must remember to buy "The Heat".

its been a while hasn't it? my hand is soooooo itchy. maybe i'm having an allergic reaction to something. hopefully not mangoes...because i love love love them. but its really itchy. wow not just my hand either...everywhere. ack this is soooo frustratin. and yesterday a drawer fell on my fingr kind of so its mildly swollen and it hurts to the touch. i'm sorry, i'm such a baby.

okay so i went to D.C. i has SOOOO much fun. so i got in thursday night and basically just got to my sister's apartment and fell asleep. i was soooo beyond tired. she lives in a wonderful neighbourhood. we dont' really have an equivalent to it in toronto. she is right by all the good restaurants and she is about 15 minute walk away from the equivalent to Bloor/Bay. the apartments and houses (mostly brownstones) are sooo cute and picturesque. we are very happy with where she lives. so friday it was up early to head out to the Outlet Mall. oy vey. Potomac Mills is the mothafucka of all outlet malls. it was HUGe and had EVERY store you could think of including Bebe (pronounced bee-bee). too thrilling. so we shopped and got some stuff for the cousins. then we went down to the big shopping street to try and find an outfit for my mom to wear to my uncles's wedding..but that didn't work out too well. so by this time i was sooooo exhausted (at 4pm) so i took a looooooong nap until 7ish. then it was off to Virginia to see my sister's friend and go out for thai and see a movie. the thai was yummy and ended up being my next days breakfast as well :-) we saw Love and Basketball, and before all you snobs groan i would like to say that it was a very cute movie and i enjoyed it. it wasn't one of those cheesy cheap ghetto flicks...it was nice. amazing soundtrack. but this movie isn't for everyone....it was nice and omar epps is hot.

yow yow. can i get another one? yow yow. representing from our hustlers on the go. coming from the T dot O.

so that brings us to Saturday. we went to Georgetown because i wanted to take a QUICK look at the University and also because it is SUCH a cute little neighbourhood with AMAZING shopping. the university is very old and majestic looking and the location rocks...so Georgetown is on the list at the moment. i'm probably going to go on a tour of it in June...we'll see. ummm i bought shoes from the Steve Madden store that our absolutely off the wall. they are RED and leather and just fun...they are kind of loafery. you just have to see them. i've been getting A LOT of comments about them...even from strangers. that night me, my sister and brian (the fiancee) were off to see a play called Shear Madness. it is this interactive whodunit type of deal. so we are sitting in the Theatre Lab at the Kennedy Centre and my sister looks over and was like "look at that old distinguished man with his old distinguished wife. that lady is in her gorgeous outfit chewing gum like a COW and blowing bubbles". so i look over and i'm like wow she looks kind of familiar. then about 45 minutes into the show i shriek "ITS LESLIE STAHL FROM 60 MINUTES". yes the cow cud chewing distiguished woman was from the news magazine show 60 minutes. i was muy amused. and then at intermission i stood behind her while waiting for the washroom and didn't say anything to her. i could have said soooo much because she is soooo important and like the only lady on 60 minutes. her name is leslie stahl right? yes so that was my story.

sunday was an awful awful day. i had to go to the salon at 9:30am to get my hair braided. but they didn't start until like 10:30am because they were busy. it was a braiding sweatshop. it was like 20 african women in this basement just braiding away. and they wouold speak french and some afriacan language to each other. my sister told me to tell them that i speak french, but i didn't feel like being social so i didn't. so that evening i had my flight to catch at 7pm, but i didn't get out of the hair place until 6:30pm. INSANITY. me, my sister and brian having a FIT across town trying to get to the airport. luckily i made it on time...if i hadn't i would have had to stay overnight again.

okay so that was my trip in brief. monday i worked at lisa's mom's office. it was fun...pretty relaxing. it was mostly just photocopying and typing stuff up. then it was off to GAP to buy a shirt. i ended up getting two shirts and then it was off to Roots where lisa and i split sweatshirts. for some reason (approaching summer) Roots was having buy 1 get 1 free sweatstuff. very thrilling. oh wait...lara was there too and she got accepted to her psycho program at Mac. go lara ;-)

so my insane 25 resume handing out has been turning into something. i had an interview at GapKids on Bloor the other day. first of all there was this girl there my age who i swear was mini-sas. frightening. same voice, same hair, same build, same mannerisms. it was sooo bizarre. she was very cool though, we bonded over the fact that we were the youngest at the interview and it turns out that she lives in my area kind of. she was very nice. and i have two more Gap interviews this week, one for 60 Bloor and the other for Eaton Centre. which reminds me...i have to type out my references. must do that tonight. i would like to work at Gap..50% discount sounds nice. but who knows what will happen. there are so many other people in the world who have more qualifications. but c'est la vie... i will of course survive if i don't work at Gap.

if you don't want to throw it all away i might be shy on the first date what about the next date? huh? huh? Huh? if you don't want to throw it all away i might be buggin on the first date what about the next date. huh? huh? huh?

i have to write a biology make up test tomorrow at 8am. yuck, i spent a lot of time today learning about cellular respiration and membrane shit. come on test me. wanna know about glycolysis? the end result is 2 pyruvate, 2 ATP and 2 NADH. take that bio man. i'm so not bio confident. there are so many people in my class that actually CARE about bio and study it. i'm just there because i have some interest in biological matters. and my whole lack of ANY chem history drives me CRAZY. but i'm surviving. hopefully i will rock my test tomorrow...i actually studied.

please don't come around talking that you love me, cause that love shit just ain't for me. i don't want to hear that you adore me. and i know that all you doing is playing mind games, don't you know that game repeats game and your best bet is to be straight with me. so you say you want to talk lets talk. if you won't talk i'll walk. yes like that i got a new man he's waiting out back now what you think about that?

okay what else has been up on this side? went shopping yesterday with my mom and then met lindsay to see For The Pleasure of Seeing Her Again by Michael Tremblay. it was fun. i was laughing very hard through most of it. the acting was good. i'm not feeling analytical i apologize. the season at CSC is looking soo good. we are feeling the need to subscribe. A LOT better than at the Alex. last year's Mirvish season really did rock...but next season doesn't sound all that good. however, i do want to see the ABBA Musical :-)

what was up with the practice? the poor rape guy. Camryn Manheim (yes i realize that that isn't her name in the show...but i don't do show names on the practice because i can never remember..but i'll try. i think her name is elaine..but i really don't know). anyhhoo camryn worked so hard to get the case reviewed and get the stupid test done that would clear the guy...and it backfires. there was quite the outrage in my house over that. and the old lady murder thing was just so bizarre and sad. i enjoy the practice....worth watcing. and what is up with Party of Five ending??? this is not good. i HAVE to watch it on wednesday. but now i'm all worried...it better not be on the same time as millionaire because it is celebrity week and that cannot be missed. ahhhhh my baby is one of the 50 most beautfiul people according to People magazine. i'm talking about georgie for all of you didn't know. i was happy with the list this year. julia roberts was the big popular person...and i love her. Soledad O'Brien from NBC was on it and she makes me happy. so regular people like tommy, denzel and ben were on it.

has everyone heard Britney Spear's new song... don't be fooled i'm actually i dirty premiscuous whore? come on, that is basically waht the song is saying. it amuses me. oh britney.

today i took my first dance class in two weeks. insane. i hate not dancing for such a long time. it was also my first randolph with the hair. it was hard to figure out what to do with it. i tried the ponytail thing but i felt off balance. so then i put the top up and used a kerchief to make myself look cute :-) i was soooooo hot (heat wise not style wise) by the end. siona worked us so hard for a retardo class. by the end of class my sleeves were rolled up and i rolled my shirt up and tied it into a knot so i was dancing bear bellied (it was a first and deserves mention in the journal). so i didn't feel sooo naked with my shirt all twisted...it was actually very comfortable. its so amusing to listen to people react to the hair. soujin was amazed and had a lot of questions and then started bitching about her own hair that does nothing exciting. then she kept on telling me how cute i looked because i was wearing a halter top and all dark denim. then on my way to the washroom siona accused me of struting and asked me if i felt like deborah cox (which frankly amused me because deborah cox is canada's ONLY diva and don't even try and tell me that ann murray is a diva because that is horsehit) then some comments were exchnaged about me dancing back up for N*Sync....but i could have misunderstood because i really had to blow my nose.

did jenifer aubryhave a baby??

i should go now because i need my beauty rest. i'll try and update more than once every two weeks :-)

oh wait. i bought an outfit to wear to that friggin wedding that is happening in 20 days. i got this beautiful blue skirt from jacob and this black spandexy tank top thing. i really feel like directing a music video. i had the perfect idea for a video to the new B.S. song. OMG britney spears' intials are BS...bull shit. hehee. i had another thought but i forgot. if you see something ill, that shit is whoa. anything ill you see is whoa. new eminem song is fun. and that is all about that.
ciao
tonya


Date:April 20, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
5:14pm
Stuck in my head:
Oops i did it again by Britney Spears
In the cd player:
Destiny's Child
Song lyric of the moment:

Oops i think i did it again
i let you believe we were more than just friends
-- Britney Spears
Book : The Testament by John Grisham
On the tube:
Blind Date
Random Quote:
"i'm so excited. i wish i possessed a tail so i can wag" -- Roberto Benigni at the Oscars
Anxiously Anticipating:
DC TONIGHT
Link Me Baby One More Time:
no link
Journal End Time:
5:41pm

first to all you jews out there...HAPPY PASSOVER. and to all the fake jews (coughlauracough) happy passover to you too :-) happy almost easter to all you crazy christians (big up all the christians in tha house). sorry i'm feeling a little peanutty today. i'm packing for D.C. i leave tonight (in 4 hours) and i'm back on sunday night. which leaves me a day of fun for monday. but schucks...i have no fun planned. sooo if anyone is bored on monday call me and we'll do something fun fun fun. maybe something new...like skydiving. okay maybe not. something new and free and fun. free is a key word because i'm po'.

okay so my week...nothing too exciting. i finally saw Rachael again. its so funny, everytime we see each other we totally have to catch up on life because we NEVER talk outside of dance anymore. funny. we USED to be best friends :-) from grade 1 all the way through grade 8 (kind of). then we went to different schools and no more best friends for us. i enjoy her company i've decided. i'm fickle...some days i can't STAND certain people and other days i'm completely in love with them. is that bitchy of me?

i've been looking for a job. i've put out 21 resumes within the past 2 days. i went to Eaton Centre and i did Bay/Bloor. i still have to make my way up to Yorkdale and apply to some places there. i HAVE to find a job. i'm competent. the funniest was the GAP manager at eaton centre who was sooooo nice but sooooo flirty. we were totally just chatting it up and as i was leaving he was like "can you sell?" for some reason that question caught me off guard, but i was like "i have never sold before but i'm pretty darn capable". yes i'm a nerd. a nerd without a job. i've applied at some of the randomest places. its kind of fun. the chic at Foot Locker was very cool but totally got all up in my business. she wanted to know what i wanted to do with my life, where i planned on going to school etc. she looke SOOOO familiar though...weirdness. so everyone say a prayer for me and finding a job.

i had ANOTHEr fight with kristin. okay so there is this scandolous pic of me from NYC that she took. i'm trying on my new Old Navy stuff and acting as a stripper. there is this display for NYC that our teacher told a few people to make and kristin volunteered. oh wait...first day back from NYC Kristin shows me the pic and i was like that better not end up in delirium (our literary supplement). then we were joking baout it going in there. then she was seriously going to put it in and i had a fit. so a few days later i see my pic on the board and i ripped it off. then kristin has a fit saying its her property la la la. and i had an even bigger fit saying that it is my image and she had no right to put it on without my permission since all the teachers and the principal would see and so if my pic was going to be on their then it would be my decision not hers. so as i was talking she kept interupting and i was like oh forget it. to whcih she responded that with me its always forget it. hehe i had another fit and said that maybe if she wasn't so fucking condescending all the time and actually shut her goddam trap for a minute and listened to what people had to say then maybe it wouldn't be forget it all the time and that when she was ready to listen to what i had to say then she could tell me and i'd talk to her. bickering is fun.

how fun is the new Britnet Spears song. at first i hated it but it has SO grown on me now. its SUCH a girl song. the whole idea of leading boys on and such. go britney. but it sounds almost identical to hit me baby. but that is alright.

had dance on tuesday. remind me why i bother taking pre-jazz... would love to try jazz3 but its too intimidating. how fun would it be to take a class with Britney Spears? so much fun...right laura?

okay i should go because blind date is about to start and frankly, it amuses me so much i can hardly contain my excitement.

AHHHHH 3 kings is on video now. i want to buy it sooooo much. my georgie is such a ball of hunkiness. AND he broke up with his girlfriend Celine Balitran. hehe the door has opened for me :-) um yeah...cause you know that i'm in no way delusional. but he is soooooo sexy...like to get down his pants. speaking of getting down someone's pants...rent coming back means that cary is back in town. that is all.

OMG did we all see a certain ms. garel make a fool out of herself on Bullard? it was cute, it wasn't funny...it was depressing. she did not stop giggling the whole time. okay so maybe she was nervous...because bullard was NOT being that funny at all. so yes my mo mand i were VERY disappointd. also disappointed that she is going out with the boy from the pontiac commercial. he is SO dirty looking. yes you shouldnt' judge by looks...but he is so NOT right for her. too greasay looking..and i don't mean in a sexy gino way. like a motorcycle boy or something. he better not be corrupting her.

okay now i'm gone before i get my ass in some hot water :-) it wouldn't be too good if she reads that...hey but its my journal and my opinion. ack i'm having a rosie moment :-)
ciao
tonya :-)


Date:April 17, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
12:34am
Stuck in my head:
any whitney houston song
In the cd player:
En Vogue
Song lyric of the moment:

did you really think that, i would really take you back
let you back in my heart, one more time
-- whitney
Book : The Testament by John Grisham AND THousand Acres
On the tube:
NYPD Blue
Random Quote:
"i'm so excited. i wish i possessed a tail so i can wag" -- Roberto Benigni at the Oscars
Anxiously Anticipating:
going to DC, finding a job, EASTER, siona's new hair
Link Me Baby One More Time:
no link
Journal End Time:
12:58am

i love flossing. don't you? i love the way my teeth feel after being flossed and brushed. they just feel so clean and well groomed. i recommend flossing...it is only good.

so what has been up with everyone? hopefully everyone is well. i mean its not like anyone has been updating journals recently :-) i shouldn't talk. i've sucked ass at it too. i can't believe the weekend is over once again, and once again i have been mildly productive. hmmm maybe i should talk about the rest of my week first.

can't remember the rest of week. shocking isn't it? i think i'm losing my mind, or perhaps nothing truly interested happened. i took a nap thursday after school. i think i enjoy the after school naps eventhough it cuts into quality Blind Date time. i LOVE that show. it is SO addictive. DO NOT WATCH IT. it will ruin your life. stay away :-)

so saturday was christine's birthday party. 15 screaming 6 yearolds. lovely. it wasn't that bad. they had people with animals come in and entertain the children. then iw as responsible of controlling the kids painting thing. not bad at all. i was there for 6 freaking hours...so there went my ENTIRE saturday. pissed me right off. hehe but i was 25 minutes late getting there. so NOT my fault. if hadn't waited like 30 minutes for the street car i would have been on time.

that leads us to today. so i went to randolph and instead of walking down yonge, i went to wellesley and walked UP yonge. so as i'm walking this taxi stops beside me and i see this bag with a practically naked man on it. very scandolous. i keep on walking and chuckle to myself on my way in to the dance school. so i'm waiting for the elevator and the door opens and someone with red hair walks in...with the nudey bag. i was shocked. even more shocked when i snapped out of my trance and realized that it was siona. yes, miss jackson died her hair kind of reddish and it looks stunning...i think she went back after class to get it cut. she's doing this hair show so its all for free. it was also ms. jackson's b-day so i gave her a card, which she SO rudely opened in front of me. isn't there some sort of rule about that? yeah...so that was weird. so i took the elevator up with her and she bitched a bit about having to work on her b-day. ohh i think the naked man bag was from the hair people...at least i HOPE it was. class was fun. retardo, but i sweated. i was finding clever ways to roll up every piece of clothig that i was wearing. it didn't work too well because i kept on having to adjust. we are still doing the mechanical monkey dance, which i've learned to appreciate. after el momio came to pick me up to go hang out. but of course as we were leaving abbas was like "tony i love your mom, just LOVE her, she is so cool." abbas amuses me to no end. and sou-jin was there looking STUNNING and it turns out she hadn't met my mom so that was a whole OTHER ordeal and conversation. and that is my randolph story.

i so should be studying for math test tomorrow. love my journal readers more and know where my loyalty is :-)

so we went to Payless where i found AMAZING sandals for $20. made me muy happy. goes with my summer sex kitten theme. just joking. there is no summer sex kitten theme. then it was off to Indigo where i had to buy a book that i forgot in my locker and realized that i couldn't do without. so that sucked ass. then we went to Red Lobster for lunch. my mom is obsessed with that place. actually so am i. those garlic shrimp are heavenly...so are the cheddar biscuits. i ate SO much. my ENTIRE salad, all my shrimp and fries, 4 and a half biscuits and 3 glasses of water. i really need to get that hole in my stomach filled up :-) at this point i had a strong desire to buy a halter top, and my mom had to pee, so it was off to eaton centre. i ended up getting two halters from Dynamite for 10$ each...not bad. i wanted them to wear under my jean jacket because i didn't think the strapless bra would fit right, but i took them home and tried them on and the strapless worked wonderfully. so we have VERY fun summer clothes. my styleshness surprises me every once in a while. can someone please explain to me what is up with GAP. it sucks ass soooo much now.

OMG new fave show is Seventh Heaven. its part of my sunday night hour of power line up :-) actually two hours of power...back to back God shows :-) Seventh Heaven is so cheesy but cute...everyone needs to watch it, its on the WB and isn't ALL that g-d centred. then on CBS i watch Touched By An Angel.,....which i love to no end. today was the one with N'Sync and Charlotte Church. definitely a favourite one.

i'm going to washington on thursday night. i'm not sure if i'm seeing Fosse. what is up with Rent coming back to T.O.?? i'm so not feeling the Rent vibe. its kind of like Michelina's. before they got popular i was into them...eating one every feew weeks. then they started with all the ads and EVERYONE was buying them. now i'm sick of them and the thought of eating another one makes me sick. same difference with Rent. it happened now its over, now its back and so what. and what is up with tickets being from 90-45$??? insanity. i could do so much with $90...like buy 8 halter tops :-) j/k. but at this point in my life the last thing i want to do with $90 is see Rent. BUT at the same time, Rent does hold a fuzzy spot by my heart that kind of wants me to see it again. maybe if it were free. okay. i would see Rent for free. or in exchange for sex with cary. one of the two. i'm joking...but about which part :-) i'm a nut bar sometimes. who IS seeing Rent?? who is int he benny tour anymore? i need to check these things out. i remember when EVERYONE started leaving like DLG, Cristina, Scott, Julia, Christian...and others..but who took their spots? is Shakla still in it? isn't the Elgin HUGE?? good luck selling out rent for 2 weeks. actually it could happen. who knows. i'm seeing Lion King in 5 weeks. woohoo. AIda in 9 weeks. BIGGER WOOHOO :-)

should i go to bed? i think so. but i can't. why? must study for flipping math. NOT a happy camper. will be sleep deprived for tomorrow. stranger things have happened. will sleep during english. watching horrid movie that i can afford to sleep through. won't miss much. wrote essay on King Lear without having read the book. clever girl. wait until i get my mark back. i watched the movie 1.5times and read coles notes, also did research on the internet about it. can't wait to get the essay back :-)

off to study Logs. i love me some Logarithms. they make the world go round.
ciao
tonya


Date:April 13, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
12:11am
Stuck in my head:
My name is... (by Eminem)
In the cd player:
MuchDance 2000
Song lyric of the moment:

none tonight
Book : The Testament by John Grisham
On the tube:
tremnants of letterman
Random Quote:
"i'm so excited. i wish i possessed a tail so i can wag" -- Roberto Benigni at the Oscars
Anxiously Anticipating:
going to DC, taking a Siona class, memorial service, jargon meeting
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.bebe.com (new fave store)
Journal End Time:
12:45am

do you ever have one of those days that just makes you happy for no particular reason? i dunno, for me today is just one of those days. its 12:12am and i don't want to go to sleep because i feel so fufilled. its not that anything monumental happened...i guess i'm just a very content person. oh wait...i updated on April 11 so read that because i enjoyed writing it and it explains where i've been.

so today i had to sacrifice ANOTHER late start because of a GAC meeting. nothing exciting happend there. i went to drama and was a bit crazy. i INSISTED that nadeen and i move the couch from the drama room into the rehearsal space next door so that we could chill. but then a larger group needed the rehearsal room so i insisted that nadeen and i move the couch into the hallway where we were banished. we had a good rehearsal...talked about a lot of things regarding our production. i also convinced nadeen that i'm possibly either half italian or half puerto rican. i even made up a puerto rican song :-) i'm nutty. then i failed an economics quiz i think and skipped orchestra. the afternoon wasn't special because i had bio and i HATE bio class because it is beyond boring. then in geographie we had 7 people because 13 people were on a field trip. so nothing too special.

oh wait...ANNOUNCEMENT. i'm running for student council. i went to a meeting after school today and i have decided to run for treasurer. could be interesting. i hate the idea of campaigning and then losing. doesn't make me too happy. but c'est la vie. so after the meeting i had to go to HMV to pick up some stuff for GAC. but on my way i had the BIGGEST craving for coffee so i had to stop and starbucks. so i go in and order a mocha frappe (in honour of kiss92) and as i'm leaving i pretty much walk right into a certain miss siona jackson, to which i exclaimed "whoa, siona jackson". yes i know i am slightly peanutty. siona is an interesting one. see, she always greets with a nice hug and a kiss on the cheek. but today there was no hug and only a kiss on the cheek. i guess she is just a very physical person. hey max, do you get the siona kiss thing or is it just a female thang? i must observe. but siona was so cute she had all these papers strewn all over the place and i guess she was hard at work on some stuff for her company. her determination and creativity is just so admirable and positive. she's a pretty inspiriing chica. so yay siona jackson. for some reason on my way up Yonge i ran into the WHOLE WORLD. so first siona, then kat, then mme bouffet, then deirdre who i had not seen in like a thousand and one years, then i ran into connie and johanna. OMG the funniest thing. so we were totally standing in the middle of the sidewalk talking when i see this blind woman with a cane PLOWING down the street. so i was like whoa nelly blind lady coming. and we moved out of the way. then connie was like why was the blind lady wearing glassses?? sketchy isn't it. so then this blind lady almost walks out into traffic and we figured okay, she really is blind. but then she starts crossing RIGHT as the light turned green and didn't stumble over the curb. and then she folds up her cane and opens the mall door with NO hesitation weirdness.

AHHHHHHHHHHH i'm in LOVE with Mocha Frappes. it was so scrumptious. it cost 4$ but it was worth it. it was orgasm in a cup. well not that i would know ANYTHING about anything of the sort...but i'd imagine that that would be what it is like. so i'm quite possibly obsessed with Mocha Frappes. i may have to abandon my good old Second Cup for a bit...eventhough they are cheaper and friendly. i like my gay homies at my second cup on church...so coolio. hmmmmm bought two people magazines. not reading them until all my work is done. frankly it is now 12:24...the magazines are NEVER getting read.

then i went BACK to school to deliver the GAC stuff (saw siona again but hid as to not seem like stalker) and ended up hanging around for forty-five minutes to wait for elvira's badminton practice to end. i did get some work done which ended up being pointless because i changed the ENTIRE focus of my essay..but c'est la vie. so elvira and i went to Green Mango for dinner and had a nice chat. i always have nice chats with Elvira. i need to scan pictures of my homies. then on our way to the station who did i see...if you guess siona you are right. but once again i hid in order to not seem stalkerish in case she saw me hiding the second time, because frankly, it would all be a little scary. unless she saw me hiding everytime...that wouldn't be good at all. that is my running into random peole record for the day...i have never run into anyone 3 times in one day...after a while youjust start feeling guilty.

going to Mme. McTaggarts memorial service on sunday i think. apparently she planned it herself so it should be interesting. what do you wear to one of those??? i'm officially in ABSOLUTE shock that she is dead. i can still hear her voice telling us her stories of her world travels. i can still picture her on my first day of school and on parent night. i have all these visions of grade 9 and 10 histoire floating around in my head and the way she used to sit behind the lecturne. oy vey. this isn't good. i'm not just saying this because she is dead now, but she was always one of my favourite teachers.....so its just very bizarre to think that she is gone. i have a feeling that the memorial service will be quite difficult. oy oy oy.

Mr. Lazare, who's wife also died this weekend is coming back to school on friday. insanity if you ask me. all the teachers are saying that it hasn't quite hit him that his wife is dead. i mean she went to the doctor on monday and found out that she had liver cancer, and by friday she was dead. and not just her, but also their unborn child. i feel for him. friday is going to be a rougher day for him then he anticipates i think.

gee i need to lighten these journal entries up. lisa told me the nicest story about law and order chic getting proposed to on Leno by her boyfriend. how amazingly sweet is that?? you all know that that is like my dream. i want George Clooney to propose to me on Rosie. i'm a nut, i realize that. but so amazingly sweet.

my mom bought me a cheesecake all for me. her goal is to make me fat so i can buy bigger clothes and then i'll lose all the weight and she can wear my old clothes. clever plan isn't it?

okay so i must be off..its late and i have a presentation to plan, a quiz and a test to study for....all for tomorrow. fuck. i didn't realize i had so much to get done. at least i wrote an english essay :-)

tonya :-)


Date:April 11, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
11:27pm
Stuck in my head:
Turn your Lights Down Low
In the cd player:
Best Man soundtrack
Song lyric of the moment:

turn your lights down and open your window curtain
oh let your moon come shining in, into our lives again
oh its been a long long time, to get this message for your girlie
and it seems i was never on time, still i want to get thru to your girlie on time on time
i want to give yousome love, i want to give you some good good loving
-- Lauryn Hill and Bob Marley
Book : The Testament by John Grisham
On the tube:
the news?
Random Quote:
"i'm so excited. i wish i possessed a tail so i can wag" -- Roberto Benigni at the Oscars
Anxiously Anticipating:
going to DC, taking a Siona class, finding out who is running for student council, going to the jargon meeting
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.bebe.com (new fave store)
Journal End Time:
12:28am

well has it not been a year and a half since i last updated? okay not really....i updated on march 29...that isn't that long ago. sooo much has happened since then. where to start oh where to start...how about with NEW YORK. and HI DANIELLE ESTHER SAMANTHA COHEN. this one goes out to her :-)

so yes it was the school trip to NYC and it was AMAZING. i definitely recommend going on a big school trip. so it was basically all my close school friends on the trip to my favourite city....what else could you want? so at first we weren't sure how it was going to go because kristin and i had been in a bit of a spat for the past week and we were supposed to be sharing a room with her and elvira and nadeen (who was also spatting with kristin). but everything worked out wonderfully. so we took the bus and got to our hotel in Wayne, NJ (shout out to andrea who lives not to far away). so that evening it was off to Willowbrook mall to invade Old Navy (which i found courtesy of andrea. woohoo). i love me some Old Navy...great clothes for soooooo cheap. that night i just bought the fun All Terrain Capris in this dark khaki-ish colour. so we shopped and had fun and raised ruckus in the mall. then it was back to our hotel where we had a MOUNTAIN of food. we each brought enough food to feed a small army. OMG the FUNNIEST. we aren't allowed to have people in our rooms...so of course when we get there the first thing we do is invite our other friends, Johanna, Melinda and Stephanie to our room. not only did we have visitors but we also had our radio BLASTINg (which we weren't allowed to have). then we heard a knock on our door...i have never seen seven people move so fast. we THREW the radio in the drawer and hid the 3 girls in our shower. i opened the door and could not stop laughing because it was our teacher coming to do a check and make sure that everything was okay. i blamed my laughing on the excitement of being in nyc :-) then we came back to the room and watched Party of Five and other shows and talked. it was nice. it was PURE girl talk. you learn ALOT about everyone from girl talk. we were up talking until past 1am. so that was fun.

the next morning we got up and watched the today show and it was off to the city for a day of fun. on our way over we were told that we would have to see a show THAT night instead of the next night. that sucked ass because not only did i not have my bootlegger but i was also dressed schleppily. but c'est la vie. so we went to the world trade ticket booth and after much discussion and deliberationn nadeen, elvira, and i settled on see Jesus Christ Superstar. it was between that and Kiss Me Kate and the Wild Party. from there we went to South Street Seaport which was NOT exciting at all. the highlight of the day was easily the Village and SoHo. we had an AMAZING time. we were down there from probably2 until 6. so we shopped soooo much and observed "art" (oh look at the colour schemes inside old navy). i bought jean capris, two tank tops, two t-shirts and a purse that was uber cheap. suprisingly the flea market was open (you know, the one that has ALL that drug paraphenlia). as we were walking down the street this hottie mad up a rap for me and elvira which was nice. i was so overcome with joy that i told him that i had to pee. well not really. we were DESPERATE to go pee and wanted an alternative to McDs...but there was none according to the hot rapper guy. we got caught up in a political protest on our way...so that was interesting. then it was off to Times Square to see our show. ummm had Sbarros and that made me happy. JCS kind of sucked ass. i could not sit thru it again. it is SUCH a mega rah rah musical. it wasn't horrid...but i could suggest other things to be seeing. lets just say i would have rather seen Rent :-) BUT David St. Louis was in it which was nice so i went to say hi to him afterwards...and gosh darnit he remembered me. after a year and a half (litterally...not my exageration). surprising. so that was nice. then it was back to the hotel where we all modeled our new clothes and i did a strip tease which is now on photograph that may end up in the literary supplement (oy vey). somehow we ended up talking about our nipples and how big or small they are when we get nippy. the funniest site of the entire trip was stephanie sitting there concentrating on making herself nippy by massaging her nipples. i was on the FLOOR peeing. she was all into it....and yes they did get nippy after a while :-) that was also the night that steph, melinda, kristin and johannna stole a luggage cart and went on a adventure.

the next day was the day i was dreading. NBC tour, 3 art galleries and empire state building. i HATE the NBC tour, i do not DO art and i was just at the empire state building in july. the NBC tour wasn't as horrid as i remembered, but it was painful to be on the other side of the Rosie door WHILE she was doing her show. elvira and i got around the art gallery problem...we skipped 2 out of the 3. i know my way around nyc very well...so i knew we wouldn't get lost. instead of the Moma we hung around 5th ave and went along Park for a bit. then we sat in front of a church and talked and spotted Eugene Levy and Paul Schafer. and snuck back in before it was time to meet up. then we walked north on B'way to get to Central Park where we had a nice little picnic and headed off to the Met. i REALLY enjoyed the Met. i like the historical stuff....you ancient egypt and south asian stuff. so i was happy. so for dinner all 7 of us decided to go to a restaurant...problem was that we were on madison and there is no where to get reasonably priced food there...but we ended up with an okay little deli type place. on the way i bought my fake kate spade purse that was cow print that i LOVE. its my second fake kate spade :-) oh wait i also bought fake Gucci sunglasses...i'm SUCH a trendmeister. then it was off to the Whitney to see some special exhibit. johanna, elvira and i skipped that and had ice cream in central park and watched life move all around us. it was so peaceful and beautiful. completely stress free. the funniest was the art teacher asking me about what i thought of the Whitney...oy vey. i am SUCH a good bullshitter at that stuff..go me. then it was off to the Empire State building. what to say? high building lots of lights. oh wait...hot guy. melinda made me follow her around while she followed him because according to Steph or Kristin he was checking her out. and that was our day out.

when we got back to the hotel at around 11 we put it on HBO and there was the kinkiest show on. it was like dirty sex television from around the world. im not joking...soooooo kinky. so all seven of us were watching which was the BIGGEST mistake..because frankly everyone has made sexual energy. the show was SOOO funny..we sat watching it for like an hour. they had women playing topless soccer, asian strippers bumping and grinding with business men, talking ass cracks (one had teeth), swedish sex toys, OY VEY they had Kama Sutra...so fucking kinky it isn't even funny. they had women masturbating...they were bumping and grinding with chairs and stimulating themselves with their fingers...oy. what else? gay sex, lesbian sex, group sex, animal sex...you name it, it was there. it was WAY too amusing...and it was my first witness of anything slightly pornographic. lets just say i was way too amused. OMG they had penis and balls all over the place. that spawned johannas creation of the penis and balls song. makes me laugh all the time.

okay so that is enough NYC. we got home and it was a great time and now we are all sad because we don't want to be in Toronto anymore. we had our Sears thing. we didn't go on, thank god. so now my work with the play is OVER. happy happy me. josh won a personal award so i was beyond happy for him. i had AMAZING chili at U of T.i need a coke right now.

disturbing. during our girl talk kristin said that she fools around boys. but only when they are both drunk. lets just say that that would explain it...the drunkness would that is. i cannot picture her fooling around with ANYONE... frankly the thought disturbs me. geez *I* don't fool around with anyone...never have. i think i bring up that too often. i think i need therapy. its not that i care that i haven't fooled around with anyone...frankly i'm sure in some brazilian villages in the amazon its kind of honorable or something...but i digress. i think i'm ovulating... lets just say that i get kind of "randy" two weeks before i start my period...which would be around now. hehe take advantage of it. :-) girls... don't you hate right before your period when your nipples get sore??? how fucking uncomfortable is that?? every little thing bothers them. geez..i digress again.

oy so we go back to school on monday to find out that all these people are dying. my grade 9/10 histoire teacher died of cancer on the weekend or something. apparently she had had it for a while but didn't want people to know. but she retired two years ago and now she's gone. too weird to think about. miss mctaggart is gone. the concept baffles my mind to no end. i liked her. she was classy and fun. she was a world traveller...i doubt there was a country that she hadn't been to. she always used to tell us her stories. its funny, because on sunday before i heard the news i was thinking that i miss mctaggart and would love to have her over the pitbull that is Mme Bouffet. okay then the school's philosophy teacher's wife died. mr. lazare is SOOo cool...he IS jerry seinfeld. but it turns out his wife was pregnant and on the sonogram them discovered that she had liver cancer or something. so not only did he lose his wife, but also his unborn child. i cannot even BEGIN to imagine what he must be feeling right now. and apparently it was REALLY REALLy sudden that all this happened. i think they also have a young child around 5 years old. so our school is very sad about that too.

gee i need to lighten this journal up a bit. oy. my media teacher who is new to our school this year walks in and says "gee it seems like everyone is dying of cancer around here." can we spell insensitive??? i was VERY pissed by that comment. was NOT a good way to open up the class. and we figured out why my mark was so low. the stupid ho bitch gave me zero on something that was worht 10% because she couldn't find a presentation mark. and also she didn't change my test mark from 65% to 85%. now that would make a difference wouldn't it? so my media mark isn't 74% it HAS to be more around 83 or 84. which isn't GREAT but i had a very bad start to the year and i have no interest in that course at all.

hmmm max i have a message from my friend melinda that i'm sure you'd like to hear. i went to dance today and why did i have NO ONE to play with in class? i was so bored. i need my social circle, or at least a part of it. and i wasn't babysitting after so i could have done something fun after. gosh darnit. but next week i'm not babysitting tuesday so i say its party day hey hey hey. i'm nutty. sunday is siona's b-day. i have to write up her card. i enjoy siona. she's good people. i also enjoy lea. we had a nice discussion about her teaching and her career and stuff today. i love learning about people. and have i mentioned how STUNNING Sou-Jin is?? well she is. lea is thinking of mentioning to Abbas the idea of having some sort of end of year show thing for Randolphians...tat would be fun and you would all be invited because i love you all and want to have your love babies.

okay i'm SUCH a teenaged girl. guess who i talked to??? HOT GYM TEACHER. it was the first time in like AGES. it was sooo thrilling. i was in the teacher photocopy room with nadeen and he struck up a convo. i love that boy man soo much. i know he is totally just a horny teenaged boy stuck in a teachers body...but i can deal with that. i don't mind being a piece of meat. i mean he IS only 23 or something. but he is so dirty....lets just say that his eyes happen to wander... A LOT. if he were 30 years older it would be off to guidance...but he's not so its okay. i know that sounds SOOOO horrid of me...but if you were to see this boy man you would understand. and the way he wears his socks is....unique. i don't seem his nearly as often as i would like. we'll change that. j/k

there is another new hot boy. its someone i have been seeing around for a while now and his hotness is totally just hitting me. i went out with Laura and Dani on saturday night and i swear this boy man (who won't tell us how old he is) was looking sooooo good. then again, it could be the ovulation thing. i met at this moment fucking Newt Gingrich could look pretty sexy to me. i had SO much fun with the girls. dani got on a bus and harassed foreigners...but we love her anyway :-)

should i go to bed now? i suppose i should. EWWWWWW. i found out that someone at school likes me and i have a feeling i know EXACTLY who it is. and frankly YUCK. first of all i HATE being liked because i ALWAYS feel guilty for not liking back, and then i have to be all cold and bitchy for a while to make them see the error of their ways. its in my nature to be an ice queen. and i hate when the issue is not adressed directly...that is even more frustrating. so lets have a collective oy vey/grrrr for boys. that is why the world needs robots. HOT robots. no ugly robots. HOT robots who can give massages because frankly i'm a very tense person and i could use a massaging robot. i also have HUGE issues with hotness. i could NEVER marry someone ugly. the thought frightens me. like how do you plan on waking up next to an ugly person for the rest of your life???i swear i have nightmares about that type of thing. but thank god everyone has different ideas of beauty, because ugly people need to get married too...and i'm not talking those arranged marriaes.

i think i was off to bed. remember when i used to make people proposition me? i miss my wild and crazy days. i miss being propositioned. and can all you out there in journal land SMELL the hint?? or do i have to spell it out.
you all missed me didn't you??
love you all sooooo much and don't forget to smile. speaking of smiling i got hit on by two guys from New Jersey within 2 hours of my arrival...i was amused.

okay now i sleep :-)

tonya ;-)


Date: March 29, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
7:27pm
Stuck in my head:
that Bloodhound Gang song
In the cd player:
Destiny's Child
Song lyric of the moment:

you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
so let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel
-- Bloodhound gang
Book : nothing :-( finished Bridget. will start wither 1000 Acres or Stephen King novel
On the tube:
my mom is watching her tape of Days of Our Lives
Random Quote:
"i'm so excited. i wish i possessed a tail so i can wag" -- Roberto Benigni at the Oscars
Anxiously Anticipating:
NEW YORK CITY, one more siona class before i leave, having a cat fight with my horrid media teacher, the weekend
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.bebe.com (new fave store)
Journal End Time:
10:54m

okay so my last update was kind of a non-update. i need to fill in those gaps that i left. so on saturday it must have been, i went shopping with my mom to Eaton Centre for ... actually i dont think that we left with the intention to buy anything, more for just the walk. but as we were walking i REALLY wanted a pink shirt, so on a whim we went into Bebe, a store that always looked too expensive for me. but we went in and my mom fell in love, she kept on going on about how much she would love to see me in various things. life she picked out this super funky/ trendy dress for this wedding. and this AMAZINGLY cool knit halter top thingy. which led to an interesting discussion about bras under halters. and i found the NICEST skirt. zebra print...very fun-kay. also $117, but that isn't that important. i really want the skirt. and there is this AMAZING zebra print bag that i want to get...but i'm going to try to find a knock-off on the streets of new york. anyhoo...being the trendy store that is bebe they DID have pink shirts. i tried on 3 and accidently ended up buying two. okay so it wasn't really an accident... i was just a bad shopper girl. then i went to ardene and got some funky pink and blue bracelets to complete the "look". so i'm totally doing the trendmeister thing...but there is more to my store.

so then on saturday i realized that gosh darnit i need new clips. i lost my first one and i keep on breaking the little teeth off the other one. so my mom and i decided to go off to Dufferin Mall. so on our way my mom was telling me about this new store called Labels that they opened up which was very crowded when she walked by the other day. so we went in and i noticed a really nice dark dark jean jacket. one left. size medium...MY SIZE. and it only cost $25. i was shitting my pants. so now i'm even more of a trend meister...it's really funnny actually. i want my sister to see my clothes and comment on my trendiness. i think i've been reading too many magazines recently. but there is nothing wrong with trendy...as long as you are doing it for yourself. i don't dress for anyone but myself. so woohoo for bebe because it rocks my fucking world.

this thing right here, is letting all the girls know what it is guys talk about. you know the finer things in life. check it out.

how much do i love the thong song? ever so much. it is my new booty shakin' song. everyone love themselves some Sisqo. i'm waiting for Randolph to acquire the thong song. that would be too much song. hmmmm i need to take a dance class while wearing my thong. i should write that down somewhere. geez, i need to figure out when to dance this week. i think my only option is looking like taking retardo class. grrrr. speaking of thongs...another funny funny oscar moment: billy crystal doing his telepathic thing and zoning in on Dame Judi Dench (not to be confused with Jame Dudi Dench) and her reaction being to hide her face in pain. so crytal says "ohhh this thong is killing me". let's just say i was on the floor. it was DAME JUDI.

can someone explain to me why i have a fucking 74% in MEDIA??? it's an english course. i'm GOOD at english. how can i have an 84% in OAC bio and a 74% in media? we are having a talk with my dumbass teacher. i will be forceful and get what i want...becuase this is ludicrous. she doesn't even give us back our work, EVER. she is royal idiot. she needs to go fuck a horse or something.

ohhhh kristin and i had a nice little confrontation. so basically kristin treats nadeen like shit for NO reason at all, and i always tell kristin that she is being stupid and immature. so in geographie on monday kristin and nadeen FINALLLY have a fight. and i told kristin that it serves her right because she treats nadeen like shit. which led to kristin saying that i'm choosing sides, which was true. then basically we had a "fight" about the whole thing, which led to me saying that she treats most people like shit, including me and that it's frustrating. it was quite classic actually. i won. i rock. we aren't NOT talking, but we aren't talking. you know what i mean? it's funny because she hasnt told elvira anything of what happened, i guess she doesn't want elvira to choose sides or anything. it will be interesting because the four of us are in a room together for new york.

AHHHHH rachael was in dance yesterday. so thrilling. lea still doesn' tknow rachael's name, which is so cute. rach was telling me that lea goes up to her and is like "hey welcome back, you're finally here. tonya was asking me if i'd seen you recently, she was like 'where is...she?'" very cute of lea. i bet she still thinks that rachael's name is lisa. lea is retarded. rach and i were SOOO disappointed that boy who can dance was not there. he makes us happy. we love to watch him gyrate. no one really interesting was there...no ryans, no julian. but such is life. lea was still doing the semi-horrid hiphop combo. i still can't do the first bit, but the rest is ookay. i love lea so much. she is perhaps the sweetest person i know at the moment. she may very well be my favourite person with blond hair. not to be confused with my favourite korean person (sou-jin) or my favourite person that i don't have a title for, laura :-)

i'm such a horrid person i've decided. okay that is a lie. but i'm very fickle about people. like all of a sudden there are certain people that i'm SOOO sick and tired of it isn'teven funny. like i don't want to talk to them at all, but they are always there so it is impossible not to. then there are others that i feel like talking to again, like rachael for example. oy vey. so paul taylor said that somebody in grade 12 likes me...i can figure out exactly who it is and i say YUCK. well not YUCK more like oy. don't people realize that i'm a bitch? i really am. don't like me, i'm horrid. oh when will the world learn?

i reallly need to see how mcuh money i have in my bank account. i wrote checks and do not want them to bounce. that would be unfortunate. but c'est la vie, right? i didn't go to D.C. again. now i'm going over easter. AND i get to go to Orlando some time before July is over. i bet that that won't happen. my sister is psycho. but we love her anyway. i need a toronto sister. anyone want to adopt me? how cool would it be if siona adopted me? AHHHH i don't think that i told this story? actually nevermind, i think i did...about me seeing siona's company's press kit.

home from school for the afternoon because i felt sick. had some weirdass dreams. one of which involved shawn byfield, whipped cream, and fruit. yah, so we won't go there.

everyone needs to update more. are we all that busy?
i'm out.

tonya


Date: March 27, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
8:34pm
Stuck in my head:
Blame Canada from South Park
In the cd player:
Chantal Kreviazuk
Song lyric of the moment:

you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
so let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel
-- Bloodhound gang
Book : nothing :-( finished Bridget. will start wither 1000 Acres or Stephen King novel
On the tube:
Dateline but now Third Watch
Random Quote:
"i'm so excited. i wish i possessed a tail so i can wag" -- Roberto Benigni at the Oscars
Anxiously Anticipating:
lea's class, no more period, new york in a week
Link Me Baby One More Time:
www.bebe.com (new fave store)
Journal End Time:
10:54m

alas a new entry. are you all shitting your pants as much as i am? i sure hope so. y'all know me still same ole G but i've been low-key. i have no clue why i don't update anymore. it's one of those things where i sit at my computer, start an entry and just forget about it. i apologize. i'll try harder.

so where do we start? oscars? sure why not. amusing. quite possibly my favourite Oscar telecast that i can remember. Billy Crystal was funny as usual, not as funny as normal, but still very amusing. i loved his opening montage thingy. OMG i was laughing so hard when he was singing his michael caine song. he had the entire audience singing michael caine, overwhelming for the real michael caine i'm sure. speaking of that guy, how much did we LOVe his acceptance speech? so gracious. i loved the whole bit about the oscar just going to him, and that everyone in the catergory was a winner. then he went thru and talked about the rest of the guys. loved it. umm yay angelina jolie, i'm sure Amber is happy :-) annette bening was so popular last night. they put the camera on her every two and a half seconds. she didn't have the baby yet though :-( ummmm in love with warren beatty, most recent addition to the list. his speech was wonderful...the whole bit about his friends leading him to his "treasure" annette. how close to tears were we? Roberto Benigni is my little italian boyfriend...on CRACK. love that man (see quoteof th day). yay american beauty. BLAME CANADA. first of all it was my Robin who sang the song...and secondly, that was one hilarious song to begin with. so woohoo. and that is all about the Oscars.

i have NO clue what is up with ally. i saw an ad for it and it was this bizarro story line that i hadnt heard of before. does billy have a brain tumour? i guess i will find out tonight. i'm so fucking tired. i have french homework. SO don't want to do it. i have my period, that always makes me SO much more tired than usual. i could totally go to sleep right now. but i can't, because i have stuff to do. and i leaked for like my first time in my life. how yuki. at least they were dark dark dark mavis...so it wasn't traumatic or anything.

wow. that was majorly bizarro. so i was watching Ally and found out that billy does in fact have a brain tumour. so i fell asleep by accident after like 5 minutes....and i wake up and there is a funeral happening...for BILLY. oy vey. not good at all. yeah so billy is dead...my sister called and told me the whole story about him keeling over in court and stuff. majorly bizarro. david e. kelley is getting desperate with this show. i think ally reached its peak last year and it is all downhill from there.

okay soooo tired. i will write a better update tomorrow or something. who knows?

tonya


Date: March 22, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
11:28pm
Stuck in my head:
I Learned From The Best by Miss Whitney
In the cd player:
Whitney Houston -- My Love Is Your Love
Song lyric of the moment:

come on everybody and how do you do?
gonna rock shock your body, we are the Len Crew.
rock rock to the beat y'all
rock rock to the beat y'all
-- Len
Book : Bridget Jones' Diary -- FREAKING HILARIOUS
On the tube:
News
Random Quote:
can someone give me quotage
Anxiously Anticipating:
thong day, am i going away this weekened???, midterm marks, PAYDAY.
Link Me Baby One More Time:
Tanya's journal cause she ROCKS
Journal End Time:
12:08am

okay so i haven't updated in like ten years and i have SOOOOO much to say. i don't even know where to start. actually i do. okay in the ever wonderful Tanya's journal she was talking about the mormons. i am quite familiar with the mormon boys because i swear they have some sort of group home or factory around the corner from me. and these mormon boys are always SOOO hot. it is not even funny. and they are so cute in their little outfits with the pin that says their name. and they are sooooo friendly. when i see them on the bus they always exchange pleasentaries with me...they are wonderful. i love the mormon boys. and imagine my surprise when i was coming in from a day of shopping and there were mormons in the receiving area of my apartment. quelle shock. it as mormon heaven. two fine specimen of mormon standing right there. it was good. will i be punished for swooning over the mormons? i hope not. and its not just even torontonian mormons that are hot...when i was in boston i saw mormon boys and they had it going on. so lets all take a moment and think about the hot mormon boys our there doing their jobs.

okay i finished Where The Heart Is. it was a really nice book. there was something about it that made me feel really good inside. i think it was the whole idea of hope and overcoming obstacles. the main character Novalee starts out the novel living in the local Wal-Mart...and she's 17 years old and 7 months pregnant. its not even her hometown...she kind of got stranded there by her scumbag boyfriend. from there she is helped out by various town folk who have a huge influence on her. it wasn't hard for me to get into, but at first i didn't feel a connection to it. but by the end i was totally engrossed by it. so i suggest you go and read it.

OMG right now i'm reading Bridget Jones' Diary. it is HILARIOUS. like i'm laughing out loud reading it. Bridget is definitely one of my favourite litterary characters i've decided. so the book is basically what the title says - a diary. Bridget is a fictional character, she's up in her 30s, not married and feeling her life going down the drain. she basically wants to find a man and satisfy her mum. but most of the men that she meets are pure "fuckwittage". Bridget is English, lots of funny english slang...loving it. i find a quote of the day on every page that i read. its just too funny for me to descirbe. i say go read it. i think it's by Helen Fielding...but that could totally be wrong. i'm sorry if it is. but i'm loving it so much. i want to read "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius." i'm poor. can't afford it just yet (dsam hardcover). i almost bought it this weekend but decided to buy 3 softcovers for the price of one hardcover instead. i'm a reading machine.

didn't go to washington last weekend. but i'm not bitter at all. i'm supposed to go this weekend, have i spoken to my sister? can i find my sister? you take a bloody guess. so yes i'm not bitter. i just want to get to D.C. and see the White House and get my hair braided. i'm so excited about getting my hair braided...it will change my look for awhile. it will fun me up a bit. i can't wait to turn them into pigtails and such. i'll have the ghetto superstar/ ghettofabulous look happening. j/k. i won't look ghetto. so let's just hope i get my creaky ass on the plane and off to D.C. at some point.

geez. haven't updated in a week. long time. very long time. what has happened? i've been a dancing machine. took lea's class yesterday. MOST embarrassing class in ages. lea was doing this horrid hiphop-esque combo. actually it wasn't horrid....it was actually pretty hype...espcially when lea did it. but it involved arm and leg coordination...and i lack those skills so i just looked horrid. and it hurts for me to be horrid in lea's class. grr. but that's alright. i'm all good. Rachael wasn't there...perhaps she has disappeared. i inquired with lea and lea hadn't seen her in a gazillion and a half years either. we concluded that she must be taking a break of some sort.

today i had rehearsal for the play. me being on crack was like hm since rehearsal ends at like 5:30 why don't i bringmy dance clothes and take siona's 7:30. so i did. first of all big up siona for remembering that i'm a stage manager and inquiring about the show. ummmmm royal ass whooping. only 5 people in class...but i love that, it means i can work more on specific things. i got my pirouette technique ironed out a bit...apparently i lean back too much. damn me. siona is obviously trying to spice up the combo. first she pulled the curtains across the mirror so that we couldnt' watch ourselves. then she had us doing the combo starting at every different wall. by the end i was panting like a dog. i did however find out more about siona. i asked her a simple question about her company and she showed me their press kit. score. first of all siona's headshot is NOT her. at first i thought it was Christine Bandelow. but siona informed me that it was her. she looked insanely mature and all prettied up. siona went to ryerson. then i bought a popsicle and went home.

its my sister's b-day today. she turns 28. insanity. i remember when she was 16 and i was 6. time flies.

hmmmm what else? i bought KMS FlatOut for my hair. it gave it a coolio texture. i want the hairspray stuff to seal the straigtness. total waste of money if i buy it now?? i'm getting braids. hmmmm if i don't go to D.C. this weekend then i'm buying it. NYC trip is in less than two weeks. insanely excited. i lie. not insanely. just want to get away. julian has disappeared...however, siona claims to have seen him last weekend.

crieky. i'm tired. i have to plan a fecking english presentation. damn me and my dancing. i was also supposed to study for the Bio S.M.U.T. but alas that effort seems to have failed miserably. but that's life. you can't win them all. actually you can...my drama mark continues to rise. score for me. my geographie mark went up 5% according to my midterm mark. we won't mention my sliding english mark or my stuck math mark. i hate school. how the heck am i supposed to stay awake to do work?? what music should i put on. maybe i'll listen to something i've never listened to...oh who knows.

fecking horrid dream last night. the type where you wake up and are afraid to open your eyes. and then yuo do and are too afraid to close them again. horrid. don't remember the details. okay y'all can't laugh or think i'm weirder than normal. i was in a video store and saskia garel was there. i walked up to her and was like i saw you as that play boy bunny....what up with that? so we talk. then we end up at this party. all these insanely famous people are there. i cant rememebr who exactly...my georgie, madonna, princess di....i dunno who else. then all of a suddens omeone opens fire and all these people die and i make it out alive with someone. and i had to talk to the police and all the news stations. it was really freaky. but i didn't see blood, which according to my eco. teacher is a good sign.

saskia garel as a playboy bunny?? i'm sitting at home minding my own business, reading some Bridget Jones, and ignoring the possibility of getting ANY homework done,w hen my phone rings. its lisa insisting tht i watch some horrid movie on City about Playboy bunnies. so i watch. saskia garel appears as a bunny..and i don't mean peter cottontail. it was a horrid horrid movie. terrible script, acting was eck..it was depressing. but at least it was national so that means el exposurio for miss garel. lion king starts soon. insanity i tell you, insanity. i have tickets for may. gotta love the kitty. maybe there will be mormons at the show.

there is a serious lack of updates from the whole journal world. people update your journals. and yes, do it just because i say so. what happened to nat's journal??? it is now just a hyphen. can someone pelase tell me what happened. i don't like that little surprise. where is lisa press?? was she eaten by alligators. nowo i'm just trying to waste my time until i reach that point when i'm too damn tired to get anything done. i need to stop slacking. tomorrow is a busy day. OMG tomorrow is thong th thong thong thong day. i have to remember to wear it. i will write a test in my thong,...and feel very naughty. OMG i have to wear my thong to dance class one day. maybe a siona jazz1. that seems thong appropriate n'est pas? we'll see.

i love Ryan Hinds. so freaking hilarious. we are throwing a baby shower for Madonna. she's invited. we'll see what happens. we are getting secret agents to stake out JFK, Laguardia, Heathrow and the miami and LA airports. we will be trakcing her movements until she agrees. im JOKING folks...joking. no intentional stalking of madonna...unless we find out taht she is in TO. ummmm madonna is 3 months pregnant. insanity? no. insanity is madonna being 41. just wrong. oh so wrong. elvira thinks that she looks like a haggy plumber.

uh oh. i'm feeling self concious. i don't like this whole self concious thing....how do you average teenage girls do it? see i normally have this don't care attitude when it comes to how people perceive me and such...but i have this marks on my legs that i have failed to treat for the balance of the year and now its time to wear capris and i'm too self concious to bust them out because of my legs. i've been madly applying the dressing to them to speed up the process. i'm not happy. geez, i could not imagine being self concious 24/7. like i know people that are always raggin on themselves about their weight, their hair....drives me crazy. how do people do it? its turned into an art.

i really should scoot off and do some work. alas, i feel my eyelids heavy. could that be a sign of impendng sleep? crieky, i hope not. i need to work like an animal. a beast. roar.

funny story before i leave. so i'm walking down the hall and i see my friend eric, the yearbook picture guy. andi ALWAYS make him take pictures of me. actually...im sure he just fakes the action of taking pictures of me just to get me to shut my bloody trap. but today i see him and i'm like "eric take a picture of me. take ME. take ME. take ME. shit i mean a picture take a PICTURE of me." it was right int he break before resuming classes after lunch. to say the least, the halls were fully of people, who all started bursting out laughing. i was pissing my pants laughing when i realized what i was saying...take me take me take me. it was amusing.

goodnight.
tonya :-)


Date: March 16, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
1:46pm
Stuck in my head:
Thong Song by Sisqo
In the cd player:
Backstreet Boys(the middle cd)
Song lyric of the moment:

She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
Uh I think to sing it again
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong

-- Thong Song by Sisqo
Book : Where The Heart Is
On the tube:
Days of our Lives
Random Quote:
"when i crap shooter wants "Big Dick" what is he hoping for?" -- a trivial pursuit question
Anxiously Anticipating:
thong day, D.C., driving, getting myself some american money, New York trip rapidly approaching, trying out my newly constructed dance clothes
Link Me Baby One More Time:
Tanya's journal cause she ROCKS
Journal End Time:
2:47pm

bonjourno,

well it has been a most interesting past few days. i would like to express my profound love for march break. it is WAY too enjoyable. i'm a happy camper. hmmm when was the last time that i updated? i dunno. let me go check.

okay so basically we just get to catch up on yesterday...and what a day it was. soo at like 11am i went to kristin's house to make perogies because SHE invited ME over. fine. but why did the bitch ask me to bring eggs?? isn't that rude? she's the one harassing me to come over and she made me bring 3 eggs. i dunno i just thought that that was so wrong. so we made perogies and i guess had fun. the perogies were DELICIOUS. homemade ones are soooo much better than the frozen kind that we buy from Loblaws. so we ate about a gazillion and one of them and then played this game called DinoQuest. then Johanna came over, who i love so much. we put on some records and sat around just talking about stuff. and i got to vaccuum. it was so much fun. we don't have carpets anymore so i miss out on vaccuuming. but kristins' ENTIRE house is carpeted so i was in heaven. okay so then it was off to the museum. actually we get a new paragraph.

kristin lives VERY close to the museum...like a 15 or 20 minute walk. so i convinced everyone to walk. so we're walking down avenue rd. totally being all girly and have one of those girly bonding conversations when we see a crowd down the street in front of the Four Seasons. so as i COMPLETE joke i'm like "ha i bet it's the backstreet boys...OMG I BET ITS THE BACKSTREET BOYS". so at this point the 3 of us go SPEEDING down the street. as we got closer we heard girls yellin AJ AJ AJ. so it was for sure them. they were getting into their tour bus en route to SkyDome for a sound check. so we hung around and saw Brian (woohoo), he was very sweet...he was talking to everyone thru the window of the bus. he was even wearing Canada paraphenilia (how the fuck do you spell that word???). then Johanna decided to write my cell phone number on the side of their bus in the dust build-up...just in case they were looking for a good time. it was funny. i swear there were about 50-75 people outside...how do all these people know where they are staying? isn't that just a little sick? but we had fun.

so la la la went to the museum. walked around. went to the Egyptian Art exhibit. very cool. worth seeing. don't expect mummies...its an ART exhibit. so we're talking statues and tablets...that sort of stuff. all these poor children were dragged on the tour and they were soooo restless....i felt bad for them. i love the ROM. it is such a beautiful building...so majestic. we got in for free because of kristin's family pass...happy camper. nothing beats the ROM for free...well excpet for the new thong :-) Johanna, Elvira and I decided that we want to go to shooting range...but we have no clue where one is. so we have to do some research. i wonder if its expensive to go to one. we have this bizarro girly curiousity about guns. i mean i think that they are disgusting and horrid and i'm ESTACTIC about the new legislation that Govenor Pataki (R) of new york passed on gun control...but i have this whole curiosty about how they feel and what they are like to shoot...so we are all going to go on a field trip. johanna wants to go Skeet shooting :-)

okay i just went to the bank to get myself some american money for my trip. i leave in 7 hours. i'm kind of excited...not tremendously though. but its all good.

yes so kristin, elvira and i went to Green Mango for dinner. yummy. we talked. discussed. conversed...whatever you want to call it. then it was off to the BSB concert for me.

so i met up with Laura and Kerri who already had tickets which danielle got for them for 100$ courtesy of a scalper. but then i got my ticket (thanks to laura) for $80 down from 100$. and my seat was better than theirs :-) i was in Row 18 of the 100 level and right under the scafolding type thing that nick was attached to. i made friends with the cutest family next to me and the teenaged girls on the other side of me. i actually had ALOT of fun. first of alll i was soooo happy with the seats i had perfect view of everything. i was pissy at first because after the intro act we had to wait for an ENTIRE hour for BSB to come out. its not like they changed the set or anything...it was VERY annoying. but when the came out it was like major whoa fuck. they put on a really good show. they know how to make their audience happy. like they always changed positions so that no side of the stadium felt left out (their stage was a pentagon). and they were being complete whores to audience (wow you guys are so great, we love Toronto soo much). very enjoyable. and they sounded very good live...and they had really good dancers. they did a very good mix of old and new songs. i was laughing so hard when they did their first single "we've got it going on". SUCH memories of being in grade 8. the entire SkyDome was full of Nickheads. everytime Nick would do ANYTHING EVERYONE would scream. like when his face came on the screen, or if he started singing, if he waved...ANYTHING. can we say MUY frustrating? i don't even like Nick. i'm a Brian and Kevin girl. OMG. i'm SUCH a kevin girl now. he radiates sex. he ooozes sex. dammit, i think he IS sex. he is just so studly and suave looking. i was a very happy girl. he has this mysterious dark brooding look to himself...i love it. so we like him WAY more than Brian now. i LOVED the dancers. at the end they all came out and got introduced and shook their groove thangs. very cute. and how cute was the girl in the band? ummm okay enough BSB talk.

i must sound psycho, huh? i'm so NOT a BSB-head or anything. i think that their music is fun and i'm amused by how people react towards them. this girl behind me was jumping up and down the WHOLE show with her arms outstretched trying to GRAB them and she was waving a lot of the time too. we aren't talking about a 5 year old....this girl HAD to have been in at LEAST grade 6. kind of sad. not that she loves them so much....but the way she was behaving..high pitched SHRIEKS every 10 seconds. she looked crazy...and she was sobbing. poor girl. actually a lot of girls were crying for them. the SADDEST was during this song called the Perfect Fan which is about their mothers. this girl in front of me was BAWLING and all her friends were hugging her. it turns out that her mom just died. how sad...espcially during that song. oy. but all in all it was a very fun experience. and i didn't realize that we were the last stop on their tour. how special are we? i love last shows...for anything.

so here i am today. i had perogies for breakfast and perogies for lunch. i guess i should have a sensible dinner :-) but at lunch i had perogies and chicken wings. not just ANY chicken wings...they were from WING MACHINE. they have the BEST wings i've ever tried. i was very happy. i just had a random craving for wings so it was off to eglinton and glenholme for some Wing Machine. i bought myself a half pound. yummm. i should be packing. i have most of my clothes packed...but not all the little things that need to come along. we'll work on that very soon, n'est pas?

okay so i'm off for now. love you guys. and i'll talk to you when i get back from D.C. Have an AMAZING rest of march break :-)

Tonya :-)


Date: March 14, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
9:56pm
Stuck in my head:
Thong Song by Sisqo
In the cd player:
Rent (oh shut up)
Song lyric of the moment:
BRIDGE
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
Uh
I think to sing it again
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong

CHORUS
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th thong thong thong
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th thong thong thong

-- Thong Song by Sisqo
Book : Where The Heart Is
On the tube:
no clue
Random Quote:
"when i crap shooter wants "Big Dick" what is he hoping for?" -- a trivial pursuit question
Anxiously Anticipating:
thong day, D.C., getting my english presentation over with, possible BSB tomorrow, the museum, homemade perogies
Link Me Baby One More Time:
Fido (buy a cell phone)
Journal End Time:
10:34pm

how much are we all loving march break boys and girls?? i know i am. i'm having soooo much fun. being out of school is such a good feeling. the fact that i can wake up in the morning and do whatever i want is just soooo good. okay so last update day was saturday so let me start from sunday-ish.

sunday was a retardo sunday class day. it was definitely retardo. no one fun was there. then after i had to meet my mom to go to the ROOTS factory outlet sale. there was absolutely NOTHING there to buy, it was horrid. but as i was leaving something caught my eye...DANI COHEN. yes. the one and only danielle esther cohen was there. first of all i NEVER run into her, and secondly i'm NEVER at the ROOTS outlet and neither is she. but somehow on that crazy sunday we were both there. dani was walking around using a brit accent...nutty? i think so. yah and that was that.

then we come to monday, also known as funday, also know as Tonya and Jaime's day-o-fun. and fun was had by all. we met up at Spadina and bloor and went for a sushi lunch and basically caught up on our lives. and other people's lives...do guys gossip as much as girls?? i learned many an intersting tidbit of information. it was nice to sit and talk to jaime again. last year we were tight and would eat lunch together everyday (along with sadie). but this year our schedules were mucho different so things changed. but we had fun fun fun. so after that we had allotted ourselves 2 hours of shopping time....we didn't need it. there was NOTHING to buy. we were shopping in my usual shopping area... bay and bloor-ish and there was nothing for me at all. i was soooo sad. i ALMOST bought a shirt from GAP but it was purely because iw as in a shopping mood. so we hung out at Indigo and giggled over MAXIM. i would like to say that COSMO is sooooo much worse than Maxim. Cosmo is dirty dirty...they have topics like 101 things to do with your tongue and your man. Maxim doesn't even come close. then it was off to the movies. jaime had free passes (score for me) so it was off to see Reindeer Games for the Ben Affleck factor. it was bizarre...actually kind of horrid. don't bother seeing it. i'm glad it was free.

soooooo while we were in the GAP the first time we saw day of the week underwear and were thrilled. but it turned that they were thongs and both jaime and i are afraid of thongs. but after the movie we decided to go see how much they cost and maybe learn to love thongs. the freaking underwear were 44$ so we didn't get them...but then we had a brilliant idea. we thought we'd buy a cheaper thong and test the waters and maybe make our way up to the more expensive ones. so in a fit of deliriosness we were off to the BAY to search for thongs. i swear we spent over 30 minutes on our thong search. finally we settled on a silky Elita one. it was cheap AND 25% off. so it came to 7.33$. yay for the discount thong. there is this GUESS? thong that i want that is beautiful..its fire engine red and has the band across the top that says GUESS...we are working our way up to that. if anyone wants to buy me a thong buy me medium...or small. on thursday jaime and i are both wearing our thongs to school all day...so thursday is thong day :-) so with my thong in tow it was off to Randolph to see my sou-jin and to meet up with el-maxio. at this point i was bursting with excitement for my thong and came thisclose to whipping it out and showing sou-jin. but sou-jin doesn't get to see the thong because that would destroy the whole image of me...at randolph i'm so little and innocent, and sweet and quite...little do they all know...yes so it was nice to see sou-jin since she was in korea for so long and i gave her her b-day card and she was very pleased. so i watched the last bit of siona's class and she did not whip their asses as hard as she whipped us on friday. hmmmm met max...could not contain the thong excitement any longer and pulled him into a corner and whipped out the thong. AHHHHHHHH siona's boyfriend was taking hip hop. okay...the verdict is that that boy is HOT. and he can dance. he's gorgeous. i didn't thinnk that he was before..but now...wow. definitely a fine specimen of man. hmmmm i haven't made the sexy or hot decision yet...that will take some thought. then it was off to McDonald's to eat and le chateau was closed, btu HMV was open so we played there...then it was hometime. it was a looooooong day.

i tried on my thong. i feel like a whore in it. it is pure kinkiness. i might as well not be wearing underwear. it defintely has a sexy quality about it. i felt very feminine in my thong...it was totally i am woman hear me roar type deal. you have to be very in tune with your ass to feel comfortable in a thong..i enjoy my ass so its all good and under control. there is something very naughty about a thong. i know when i see people in thongs i get that whole "wow they must be kind of dirty" attitude. that sounds so wrong. i don't see people in JUST thongs...but you know when you see the line at the top when someone bends over....like then. if i were a total horndog....actually nevermind...i won't finish this story. the point is that i bought a thong, i wore a thong, and next thursday is thongday...i encourage everyone to wear a thong..and if not, reach out and touch someone in a thong. love the thong. embrace the thong. respect the thong.

i hope i dont' become a thong addict.

today christine and i went to the Science Centre. there are like ten thousand things i would have rather been doing. and five thousand of them involve the thong. hehe...i'm joking. maybe like ten of the things involved the thong. we had a good time..i just wasn't into it. i was out today from 9 until 9:30. that is too long to not be home for.

tomorrow i'm off to Kristin's to make perogies. then off to the museum with Kristin, Elvira and Johanna. then off to the BSB concert to get tickets with some people who have to be determined. i'm in a BSB mood today.

i want to meet Tanya Dru...she amuses me. she always talks about places that i know...that makes me happy. hi tanya dru.

ahhhhhhhh puerto rican day. i'm obsessed. when is it???

i'm reading old journals. i'm laughing out loud. score for me. i love myself. awww i found old journals from when i first started going to randolph...a year ago... insane. time flies. where did second term go? how am i almost finished grade 12? why does andrea call shul, temple?

okay i'm out for now. wish me luck with the wrath of kristin :-) j/k...i love her. actually i love jaime klein...she's rocking my world right now.

OMG i'm going away thursday night. i'm off to DC to visit my sister until monday morning. i may update tomorrow. if not love you all soooo much and don't get too lonely without me.

tata
tonya :-)


Date: March 11, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
9:34pm
Stuck in my head:
Feelin' So Good by Jenny Lopez
In the cd player:
Faith Evans
Song lyric of the moment:
a long long time ago i can still remember how that music used to make me smile
and i knew that if i had my chance, i could make those people dance
and maybe they'd be happy for a while.
-- American Pie
Book : Where The Heart Is
On the tube:
America's Most Wanted
Random Quote:
"when i crap shooter wants "Big Dick" what is he hoping for?" -- a trivial pursuit question
Anxiously Anticipating:
getting my ass whipped in dance, march break madness
Link Me Baby One More Time:
Fido (buy a cell phone)
Journal End Time:
10:26pm

oy, i'm a nut. i went out with my mom because she had to get her eyeglass prescription changed, and i walked out with contacts. it was the most random thing i've done in a long time. its because i'm joining the softball team and i was thinking that it would be nice to see the ball and not have to wear glasses.s o i'm currently the owner of a fine trial pair of contacts. they are very enjoyable. its fun to be able to see without having to wear glasses. and i can put them in and take them out with minimal problems...so go me :-)

okay what has been up with me you all might be wondering...well let me tell you. first of all, we heard from the Sears Festival people and our play was selected to go on to the next level. so score for the ghetto school :-) i have mixed feelings about the whole shabang. i mean after working on it for soooooo long it is a goood thing to see the work pay off...but then i just wanted to totally wash my hands of the project. eck the confusion. but i suppose it will be nice to work with a certain someone again... wow are you guys suspenseful? i used suspension dots to create an air of mystery. mwah ha ha. ummmm problem. the week of the festival is when more than half of the cast and crew is in New York. oops. so who knows what will happen.

its march break ho ho ho. its march break ho ho ho. i'm happy that it is march break...ho ho ho.

so my last update was wednesday afternoon. feels like forever ago. on thursday afterschool i was walking with kristin and elvira up Yonge St. and there was miss siona jackson at kilo (now brownstone) again. she was on the patio-type thingy. and this isn't a story at all, i'm sorry. let me all just tell you that i am NOT stalking siona...i just happen to go to school WAY too close to Randolph and where she is...and with the weather being nice and all everyone comes out of the woodwork. speaking of siona and randolph...i had my ass whipped in her class. i took Jazz1 (which is now my usual class) and she pushed us soooo hard and we learned A LOT of a dance, and i was sweating and we all know that i HATE sweating. but i came out feeling all dancer-y. i love that feeling. i was being total diva during the class...i had dancing attitude. i think i just needed to amuse myself. and sou-jin wasn't there...and i had a lovely card for her :-( and i'm taking retardo class tomorrow because i'm obsessed with the siona combo...it is on fire. and there is some dancing movie coming out that i MUST see..a.nd most likely i will be dragging one of YOU to come with me :-)

today was a day of fun. i went to Yorkdale with mummy. got contacts. went window shopping. decided that i must find the perfect jean jacket (damn that trendiness jean in me). realized that GAP is sucking my ass crack so much it hurts. ALMOST bought a pair of Candies for less than 20$ but they didn't have my g**damn size. watched the cutest kids shaking their bonbons to ricky martin. SAW THE MADONNA MOVIE. actually madonna gets a seperate paragraph.

I SAW THE MADONNA MOVIE. it was madonna and rupert everett who are both enjoyable. i thought it was going to be a cute romantic comedy...but it wasn't that cute OR that romantic. disappointing. DOOGIE HOWSER was in it. i used to be a doogie obsessie. ummmm the madonna factor was enjoyable. AMAZING body...but her face isn't looking as young as it used to (makes sense doesn't it?). i still can't believe that MY madonna is 41. insanity i tell you. i loved her clothes in the movie. the movie was FILLED with 13 year olds...slightly disturbing. i'm glad i'm not 13 anymore. i wouldn't highly recommend this movie...unless you are a madonna freak like me. its okay, but not great. definitely nothing special at all.

then it was off to Red Lobster. yay for garlic rolls. yay for garlic shrimp. go red lobster go.

say my name, say my name. when no one is around you, say baby i love you, if you ain't running game. say my name, say my name. you acting kind of shady and calling me baby why the sudden change?

i'm the queen of cute. we had to memorize a 24 line french monologue for class. of course i left this to be done 2 hours before i had to recite it. i had it memorzied, but as soon as i went in front of the teacher i blacked. but i was being all cute about it. i was like "madame je m'excuse mais je suis une retard". i've never seen my teacher laugh until then :-) i didn't fail tho...i ended up with 70%. yuki, but c'est la vie.

OMG OMG OMG. do we all remember that geographie project that i was working on until 4am and that i skipped one morning of class to work on? well i got not an A...not an A+...but an A++. score for me. watch my geographie mark go nice and high. midterm marks go in soon. my media, french, geographie, drama, and math marks have all gone up i suspect. hopefully economics did as well. i got 95% on an ISU that was worth 20% of our mark. so that must have doen something to my mark. but i've been sucking ass on tests...so i don't know. biology is just beyond me. i think i've failed the last two tests. i TOTALLY fucked up the test from yesterday. fucked up as in didn't answer a 4 mark question out of 30. but there is always the super make up test. who knows. english i went down in because of my ISU. i got 70%. i desrved it though. i put NO effort into it...which i'm now regretting because i need a decent mark. but from now on i'll apply myself in class. my mark went down 2 or 3% (ouch). but no fear because it is all under control. i'm such a marks whore.

i'm bored. i'm so bored that i'm thisclose to talking about penises. mwah ha ha.

what happened to nat's journal? i'm sure her update shouldn'tjust be a hyphen. and why doesn't ari update anymore. she used to be reliable...now she's just fucked. and poor dev with her hedwig closing. nto a good thing for anyone :-(

oy vey. on thursday it was a george rerun of ER. i was this close to losing it. i miss him sooooo much on ER. he is just so freaking sexy. and not just sexy....he's what we call sexy/hot. lets discuss. there is HOT which means attractive and total animal passion vibes...examples would be Antonio Sabato Jr. (latino AND an underwear model..yummm), Brian from BSB, Ricky Martin (he can shake his bonbon anytime), D'Angelo (in his untitled video...find it, watch it, try not to wet your pants girls)...and people like that...that are total eyecandy. they don't have to be the brightest crayon in the box. THEN we have the sexy people. sexy is the package....has to be smart, or at least have the appearance of being smart...and has to have this kind of rugged good looking vibe. that is where the george clooney's, ben affleck's, and denzel washington's of the world fit in. you could have a real conversation with them about politics or something. but some have the advantage of being sexy/hot. smart, hot, rugged, animal passion...all rolled in to one. so there is hot, sexy, and sexy/hot. and latinos in any catergory get more points. i SO want to go the Puerto Rican day parade. imagine....puerto ricans as far as the eye can see. i'd be in heaven. sorry...i need to take a moment.

back.

i had to think about my latinos. i hoped no latinos that read this are affended. i just think you all are so damn sexy and hot...sexy/hot. and if you speak spanish..oy vey.

i digress. was there a story behind any of that? i'm sure there wasn't.

i need a new obsession. just something to be overly excited about. right now there is no one :-( the rent thing has been over for a while and contrary to popular belief i am NOT obsessed with Randolph or anyone associated with it. i guess there are the hot teachers at school...but frankly it is just sick and shouldn't be discussed out loud. jennifer lopez is losing her spark. i'm NOT going to be a Lion-head. and how the fuck is it opening in 20 days??? hmmmm so we need an obsession. any suggestions?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i remember what i had to write about. in Hollywood. there is this lady. that has these little parties for like 8-14 women. they are like tupperwear parties. but instead of teaching the ladies about tupperwear...she gives lessons on how to give blowjobs for 3 to 5 hours. we are talking lessons to ADULT women....celebrity wives, agents....the whole lot of them...she teaches them the art of giving head. i was pissing when i read that in Vanity Fair. basically, these ladies come (pardon the pun) and choose a dildo and learn techniques such as the Basket Weave, the Taffy-pull, and the Penis Samba. that just amused me WAY too much. remember back in the day when i wrote in my journal that i thought that you just got on down and just sat there with it? oy the amount of people that found that funny. damn you all :-) and for the record i STILL havent' seen a penis. isn't that just getting old now? you all must be feeling pretty sorry for little ole me.

AHHHHHHHH i hit the lowpoint. i started penis talk. i need to get out of here.
ciao
tonya


Date: March 8, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
4:34pm
Stuck in my head:
maybe This Time from Cabaret
In the cd player:
Whitney
Song lyric of the moment:
i am the sex-o-matic venus freak when i'm with you
and i will stop it only when you tell me to
i am the automatic easy freak all over you
and i will stop it only when you tell me to
-- Macy Gray
Book : Where The Heart Is
On the tube:
Y&R
Random Quote:
"when i crap shooter wants "Big Dick" what is he hoping for?" -- a trivial pursuit question
Anxiously Anticipating:
sou-jin coming back to T.O., MARCH BREAK, seeing the Madonna movie, going to Red lobster with mummy (yay for garlic rolls)
Link Me Baby One More Time:
Fido (buy a cell phone)
Journal End Time:
5:20pm

my hand says penis. that is phrased so wrongly. it isn't saying "penis" the way people say hi...i just mean that on my hand is written "penis". johanna and i were bored in geographie and i asked her if she wanted to play the snake charmer game. she agreed...and i wrote penis in cursive writing on her hand (yes we are in grade 2). then she asked me if i wanted to join the pen club. and i agreed because she didn't say pen15. but it turned out that i was in the pen club...but that iw as member 15. yes we are supergeeks.

my favourite new expression is whoa fuck. it is such a good exclamation. it combines surprise and startlement.

last night was OAC drama night. i had crazy amounts of fun. my group was on crack. the main guy in our thing, teddy decided to get all these crazy props. we had choreogrphed our thing so that he would have a broom and a rag because he was a bartender/janitor. night of the show he comes out with one of those industrial caretaker mops and a vacuum cleaner. it was a big OY. and we kept on bursting out laughing. teddy is fucking hilarious. at one point lizanne and rabia busted out into some russian dance moves (they are so NOT russian) and i was just like whoa fuck and burst out laughing. it was amusing. awful but amusing. our performance mark was 90% so i was super happy. nadeen's group only got 87%...so that means that i have the highest mark in the class (mwah haha). so score for me. mr murray wasn't there ;-( but ms. beaudry was. i love her. she is THE cutest thing in the world. she is so little and wears funky clothes and she's super sweet.

so yesterday we didn't have french so i was SUCH a grownup. i went to the BANK and i bought a hotdog. i guess buying hotdogs isn't that grownup...but whatevs. on my way up Yonge i saw siona in kilo (now brownstone). she was sitting in the window with some boy/man. but i didn't say hi or anything cause she wasn't looking out the window. man you can spot her hair from like a mile down the street. ummm then i bought my hotdog which was DELICIOUS. then on my way DOWN yonge i saw the boy/man, siona AND lea in kilo. i wasn't really paying attention thn i saw lea wave. so i had to wave. but siona wasn't looking and as i was walking siona turned around to wave. and it turned into this whole akward dance of waving and sayhing hi to everyone while walking down the street. you all know what i mean. when you are walking but have to take a step back. okay. the point of that story was that i saw lea AND siona outside of the randolph evironment eating. OMG that made me so sad. but this gets another paragraph.

i'm sick of being in school. i want to be able to get up and go eat whenever. i hate being tied down. during the day you see all these people going about their business. I want to be going about my business. i want to sit in kilo having quiche and cake without having to skip classes. grrr.

random dream. i dreamt i was married to george clooney and that we had two kids and that i was pregnant. so i'm on the rosie show and we are talking and she asks about my pregnancy and i announce that i'm having twins. so fast forward and i go to deliver the babies and it turns out that i'm having TRIPLETS with george clooney. and so i'm in labour and i call rosie to tell her and we spaz. weirdness.i wonder what that means.

lea's class was SO whatever yesterday. lea was tired and not crazy. ryan, julian and chad the opera singer weren't there. neither were anne and maryan. however max, daniel pancer and ryan the boy that can dance were thre. rachael ended up NOT coming. the combo was kind of cool. it was a whatever day. i think sou-jin comes back today. i have to get thtat chickie a b-day card.

i have the BIGGEST craving for tuna. i never used to eat tuna. but now it is my new fave afterschool snack. OMG last night my mom and i went to loblaws after drama night adn we bought movenpick muffins. whoa fuck, those things are sooooo delicious. i'm obsessed. we had KFC for dinner. i felt like white trash. i might as wel have been eating white wonder bread.

wow, i'm having the most amazing noodle break. i found left over plain chow mein noodles. mixed it with some carrots, celery, onion, ginger and brocoli. threw in some stirfry sauce. and bada bing bada boom...PERFECTION. i'm very pleased with myself right now. noodle breaks rock.

i've realized that any entry that starts off with "my hand says penis". is destined for failure.

AHHHHHh i just ate a HUGE piece of ginger. that is NOT fun. damn me.

okay , time for me to bounce out of here.
tonya


Date: March 6, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
10:18pm
Stuck in my head:
Sex-o-matic by Macy Gray
In the cd player:
The Best Man soundtrack
Song lyric of the moment:
i am the sex-o-matic venus freak when i'm with you
and i will stop it only when you tell me to
i am the automatic easy freak all over you
and i will stop it only when you tell me to
-- Macy Gray
Book : Finished the Brethen which was enjoyable...debating over The Testament or Where the Heart is
On the tube:
we were looking for Po5 but its not on :-(
Random Quote:
"when i crap shooter wants "Big Dick" what is he hoping for?" -- a trivial pursuit question
Anxiously Anticipating:
MARCH BREAK, going to D.C., New York in april, dancing on tuesday, OAC drama night, i would like some ice cream
Link Me Baby One More Time:
Fido (buy a cell phone)
Journal End Time:
11:03pm

ergh. i'm SO sore it is not even funny. somehow a freaking pre-jazz class got to my body. not even a regular pre-jazz class...it was retardo class. now THAT is just depressing. yah, so basically my right butt cheek is the problem and down to my thigh. i have been rubbing my ass like a freaking perv all day. i'm in SOOOO much pain. it hurts to sit. everyone says i sound like an old man when i sit down becuase i have to groan first :-) maybe it was because i hadn't danced in a week...or maybe i just worked harder than normal...who knows. all i know is that i HURT.

i was SUCh a good girl today. i called Rachael and left a voice message. then she called and left a message. then i called her house and SPOKE to her. i know, it's a big step...eventho we are supposed to be best friends. we SO aren't though. we NEVER talk outside of dance anymore...not on purpose or anything. hmm maybe i'll be a good friend and try to rekindle our friendship. yah, i'll do that. i'll anounce that we are going to have a Rachael and Tonya day. how noble of me is that? i know i rock. we used to be SOOO tight...but we drift. plus we go to different schools so it makes stuff that much harder. but yes...we will bond and everything will be good.

everyone at school thinks i'm a nut because i have been walking around singing "i feel like an x x rated movie star...its the way you love me down, its the way you love me down". i love me some Macy Gray. i think i said that in my last entry...but i sure do love her. OMG OMG OMG OMG. BIG PUN IS DEAD. okay so everyone is telling me taht he died like 3 weeks ago...but i found out today. first of all..he is LATINO. well i guess he was latino. PLUS he's in a Jenny Lopex video. he is the REALLY fat guy who raps. holy pa that's you mammasita puerto rican diva from la isla bonita. you all know her song Feelin' So Good..right? well he is the guy and he's the guy on the phone in the beginning of the video. i just watched him on SNL back in january. scary shit.

OMG really scary shit. i never told my story about almost bursting into tears on the bus reading a John Grisham book. well i was reading and the main character was almost in a plane crash. and he was thinking about all these people that had died in plane crashes. and he said JOHN F. KENNEDY Jr. oy vey. its too weird to think that he is REALLY dead. its one thing to watch it on the news...but picking up a new book and having it be in there...its just horrifing. its so weird to think that i'll never meet him...or have coffee with him. or be the mother of his children :-) i've ALWAYS had a major john-john thing. yah...so i was on the bus and was thisclose to crying. did NOT like that at all.

nowdays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they moving their lips, just a bunch of jibberish. those motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dre.

girl if its alright, lets go somewhere and get it on tonight. i got a girl but you look good tonight.

i love music. i really do. whoa fuck. what is this new macy gray??? kiss plays this jacked up version of I Try. enjoyable. but not totally Macy sounding. but i'm loving it. but back to my music thing. lyrics are just so beautiful sometimes. sure, most of the times i can't relate to what they are saying...but its one of those things that i know i'll be feeling later on. sorry...that was really inarticulate. but you all know what i'm thinking..right?

i had a whole thing about sexiness vs. hotness that i wanted to talk about today. but now i forgot :-( it all started with a conversation with kristin and elvira about mr. vandermullen and mr. murray (young, nubile teachers). but yah...that vibe is SO over.

i have the raunchiest craving for street vendor hotdogs. my mommy is giving me money to go to Yonge and Bloor to buy a hotdog from my favourite vendor. they no just how to make it right. and you always go to the one RIGHt at the corner. the middle one is also respectable...but i seldom go to the cart at the far end. and now the prices are so good. a hotdog for 1.50$ or a suasags for 2$. c'est au bon marche.

i have the BIGGEST whitney houston longing. i should pop her in. i'm having schizo music listening right now. currently listening to destiny's child..but that is like the 4th cd in the past half hour. schizo i tell you. i'm obsessed with Whitney's new single it is a great sond.

did you really think that/ i would ever take you back/ let you back in my heart/ one more time did /you think that i'd still care /that there would be one feeling there /did you think that you could walk back in my life.

i'm so excited for taking a Lea class tomorrow. i have to remember to ask about siona's bday.

my mom and i realized that we haven't listened to RENT in ages. my mom has graduated to listening to TLC and me...i have schizo music tastes right now. i feel like listening to songs. i miss Sharron's voice. i'm in such a singing mood today. i'm totally just singing whatever songs pop into my head.

i'm babbling. but that is why you all love me so much :-)

okay i'm out out out and away.
tonya


Date: March 4, 2000
Journal Start Time
:
2:57pm
Stuck in my head:
Sex-o-matic by Macy Gray
In the cd player:
Santana
Song lyric of the moment:
man it's a hot one
like seven inches from the midday sun
i hear your whisper and the words melt everyone
but you stay so cool
my munequita, my spanish harlem mona lisa
you're my reason for reason
the step in my groove
-- Santana (smooth)
Book : Finished the Brethen which was enjoyable...debating over The Testament or Where the Heart is
On the tube:
aucun idee
Random Quote:
"when i crap shooter wants "Big Dick" what is he hoping for?" -- a trivial pursuit question
Anxiously Anticipating:
MARCH BREAK, going to D.C., New York in april, dancing on tuesday, OAC drama night, i would like some ice cream
Link Me Baby One More Time:
Fido (buy a cell phone)
Journal End Time:
5:08pm

woe nellie,

it has been forever and a half since my last update. well... welcome to march. i don't even know where to begin. it just feels like so much time has passed. i keep on starting updates and then i just feel that they sound so horrid...so i just close the window and forget about it.

hmmmmmm. okay on wednesday lindsay turtle and i trekked to the boonies to see Max's play for the Sears festival. it has HILARIOUS. lindsay and i were pissing our pants. it was student written..a.nd just totally CRAZY. the adjudicator LOVED it, but thought that iwas way too long...which was very true. but it was still enjoyable. getting there was SUCH a bitch. the TTC was just being EVIL towards me. but we got there at like 7:07...which wasn't THAT late considering that we had to be there for 7. but in the end it all worked out.

thursday thursday thursday. nothing interesting. i had a geographie project due on friday that i didn't start until thursday night at 10. oy vey. i was up until 3am working on it...and that wasj ust doing the text part of it. i woke up at 7am and missed my morning classes to do the rest. i worked steadily from 7 until 10, and finished beautifully. but at that point i realized that i couldn't leave for school at 10 because i would have to get dressed and do all that sort of stuff..and by the time i got to school i would be there in time for half on my media class. so i said fuckit and watched Rosie :-) it was the one with Madonna and Benjamin Bratt. BenBratt is my new cutie. love that boy. and madonna is madonna and i love her to bits. she has changed SOOOO much over the past how ever long she has been around. she is so much more subdued and classy. so yay madonna. so i went to school for ht afternoon but had to take all these crazy passages through my school to avoid my morning class teachers. but no worries, all was fine.

saturday was a babysitting afternoon. i'm SO over babysitting. i dread going. my only light at the end of the tunnel is friday because i get paid. otherwise i'm so miserable. and now i'm all bitter and psycho. i just get so irritated with those goddam children sometimes. but sometimes i'm SOOOO sweet and kick ass. but yah...we are SO quitting by summertime. anyone want to hire a young, smart, well dressed 17 (almost 18) yearold girl? preferabble NOT retail..but if that is what life must bring then that is alright. my desire for retail is SO small. i'd rather an office job. if i HAVE to do retail i'd life for it to be at a record store or a book store. but we shall see.

then saturday night it was off for fun under the sun at lara's. okay there was no sun, but there was fun fun fun. lara had all this tv for me to watch. and lindsay and lisa were there. so i FINALLY got to see ER on Rosie...how much do i want to be on ER??? Michael Michelle is SO hilarious and cute and gorgeous and just wow. Alex Kingston (dr. corday) love her so much ...same with benton..and julianna. oy this could go on for ever...let's just say that i love me some ER. but iw as very disappointed with the lack of nurses. they had Deezer on..but that was pretty much it. then we watched Jennifer Lopez shopping with Rosie and i think Love Hewitt was on too. and this chic from Will and grace that had me PEEING. i'm loving whoever that is. OMG and we played Trivial Pursuit. i'm OBSESSED with that game now. it is so fun. and stupid lisa for mixing the A and B questions together. and i will fill up my whole pie one of these days...you all just wait and see.

that brings me to today. took retardo class. it was a lot less retardo than usual...or maybe i was just applying myself more than usual. in any event i actually had a good time. maybe it's because we didnt' do across the floor...and that is always where the retardedness whows the most. the combo was fun...not overly fun a la Ricky Martin...but it was respectably fun. at one point siona decided that she wanted a few people to come up and dance. and gues who was one of them...yah go me :-) hmm so after class i got dressed and went to go say hi to the Sionanator and she was like "hey, you're looking sexy today". um, can we get a collective WHATTHEFUCK??? okay i must admit i was having a "hot day". i had my le chateau dragon shirt on that makes me look very small and i was wearing my dark jeans...but geesh. but then siona wait on to comment on my shirt...so it didn't make the sexy comment as weird. does anyone remember back when we were doing the x-mas combo when siona told me that i have a beautiful back? the memory of that still makes me laugh. FUCK. i forgot to find out when ms. jackson's b-day is...i THINK it's some point in march...but who knows.

okay so that is that. i got some Columbia House cds in the mail. Santana, the Best Man sdtrk, and Blaque. i'm doing the Santana thang right now. very enjoyable. good grooving music. you MUST groove to Santana...you can't JUST listen. i'm so pleased that everyone is coming around to hear the joys of Macy Gray. i love her so much. now THAT is grooving music. i'm SO partial to the new Madonna song. no one say anything bad about it.

tuesday is going to be insanity day. we have OAC drama night (it will be fun had by all, everyone welcome) at my school and it starts at 7. BUT i told my drama teacher that i have to pick up kids from school and that i cant get there until 7:15ish. in reality i'm taking lea's class because i ddn't go last week, and won't be able to go next week. then i'm hauling ass down to my school, which is 7 minutes away...then i'm doing my thang. my group is doing a docudrama about dance over the ages. it's actually pretty good. things turned out well.

OMG. madonna is on the cover of People. it is a very enjoyable. i bought it. i had to. there are pictures of her daughter. so adorable. very latino looking. love me some latinos :-)

this is so NOt amusing. i'll put this entry out of its misery.
tata
tonya :-)