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Bitch and Moan

*******The Obligatory Disclaimer************

These are MY thoughts and feelings. They (usually) aren't up here to offend (unless I'm particulary annoyed with you), insult, or belittle anyone. Please don't harass me because of my opinions because chances are that if you are a fool and e-mail me something STUPID you could very possibly be the topic for the next day's journal. Feel free to e-mail me if you have something particulary witty to say... if you don't have anything witty to say e-mail me anyways becuase i love that little envelope that pops up on my screen when i have mail. Thank you and enjoy :)


february 28, 1999

well that is another month that has passed us by. i honestly think i will archive this. honestly i will i'm not joking! when you come back there will be an archive. and y'all will be so very proud of me :)

well i had an adventure yesterday! i went somewhere i've NEVER been before.. fairview mall! never in my life had i stepped into that mall so i made Laura and Dani take me there! DANI DROVE!!!! woohoo. she picked me up from Finch and we drove all around! so fairview was cool. its like any other mall but they have a KICK ASS food court. the plan was for us to go have sushi after but we suck and got hungry so we had Manchu Wok. it was so good. after we bought it we turned the corner and there was a sushi place! oy we suck so bad!

so we ate :) then dani and laura took me on a tour of THORNHILL!!!! it is sooooo weird there. all the houses look alike. i mean oyu turn around a corner and you think you were already there! its so freaky! there are sooo many houses but there is like no one on the streets! and somehow dan i and laura know someone in every single hous in that area! i was shocked and bewildered! then we went to second cup where we had beverages. dani and i tried to contaminate laura's chilller while she was in the bathroom then she came back :( then dani took us to meet her friend jason who looks like Mark ROvet :)

so that was my action packed saturday :)

today did the danicng thing at randolph. had hip hop. once again Melanie wasn't there! so we had this homie guy. he was cool. the dance was a bitch! it was long and i suck. but i will get better so its all good ;) augh right now i'm so hungry i could eat a horse!

time to go. pray that i don't have school tomorrow!


tonya :)


february 26, 1999

helllllooooooo suckers.... WELCOME BACK! (hehe chicago reference!) so i had quite the adventure. sooooo i am having cramps righ tnow not fun! i went downtown to meet laura and dani to do the chicago is leaving thang. i turn the corner and there are miss phat nat and miss lau lau (nat and lauren). that was a pleasant surprise! hi girls! so we were hyper. we met Isabelle who IS in fact jenifer aubry. it was frightening! they are identical personality wise and stuff.. they talk the same oy! its crack i swear!

hmmmm i got a pic with hot Regi and hot James. always good! James was out for like 45mins.. it wsas cool stuff. is his name james or jason now i'm doubting myself... oy that is not good! talked to chita for one last time. she amuses me. its not like we ever *really* talk to her. we give her a card she is amused we leave :) so we gave her the card we got *hugged* and *kissed* which is always good. then after i asked her about her show and whether or not she is going to preview it more before Broadway she says she doesnt know... sheh has to get through doing Chicago first. how could she *not* know.. its her freaking show! whatever i still love her!

i need to see if i told all my chicago stories from thursday hold on.. in the meantime a tap dance :) phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat phat nat

oh okay no chicago sotries were told so i get to talk alot!

so no Stephanie because Ute FREAKING Lemper finally got her ASS in this freakign city!!!! how much was i shitting with anticipation! so i was at the Loo(bathroom) with my mom in the P.O.W. and she was like i want that woman's hair.. but i didn't see who. so we are in our seats and STEPHANIE the diva POPE walks by rush looking STUNNING and my mom was like i want her hair! then she was like is that stephanie pope???/ my mom RANDOMLY knowing who stephaine pope is.. go her!

so show starst out comes UTE!!!!! oy! i was SO loving her!! she rocked my world. she has all these vocalizations that rock! and she is a pretzel she can bend funny! and her accent is weird cause she is german (weird interesting not weird bad). i loved her ooff. i missed stephanie's divaness tho.. but whatever! chita was amazing of course. love her more and more each time. she is just on crack.. no really she is crazy. she threw ben off in this one part and i was laughing so so so hard. it was crack. my mom loved the show and decided that james is actually cary shields. and that chita rocks for 66 and that she is actually 50 but her arms are 66 :) but a young 66.

I GOT A GODDAMN ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am no longer rose impaired. and its a CHITA ROSE!!! ahaha. but here is the story. at that part in the end when they are throwing... she looked down at me and smiled (i don't *think* it was in my head) and she threw the rose but it hit my jacket and landed on the person next to me.... but she was gracious enough to hand it over to me. so now i'm happy. after the show i gave her the pic of me her laura and dani. and she decided we were adorable. then i told her taht we had a surprise for her tomorrow and decided i was adorable and that she loved surprises. sure its all bullshit but its fun. i'm not bullshitting i mean.. she is probably but whatever. oh yeah i decided that i don't trust people for the most part.. but we can get into that later!

hmmmm what else. final show today for the play. we got roses. things went well..except for one girl had a hockey game and showed up at 2:35 fora play that starts at 2:30 we had heartattacks! not good.

la la la... nothing else really... hopefully i get tos ee dani-sam and laura for our hot date (hehe). i was supposed to go to Randolph but i'm afraid of being crampy. i took soooo many pilss today.. its sick! i'm tring to fight it off. now my eyes hurt. i need to be off the comp!

i had a thrilling night and now the chicago adventure is over. it was purely amusement for the shit montht that february is. it was a

breath of air. closign chicago wasn't at all a big thing.. so no worries!

OMG THE FUNNIEST STORY. i'm de-rentercizing myslef. so my screensaver that says sas kicks ass is gone. my trish and sas wallpaper on my comp is gone and in french i decided to rip out all my rent pics out of my agenda. my whole class thought i was depressed! they were worried.. i'm not joking they thought something was wrong. they were like don't do that you love the show why are oyu doing that. i was amused!

FUCK i have to barf.

ciao tonya - who needs to barf!


february 25, 1999

soory ya'll! i have abandoned my journal for a bit. i have beeen getting hell.. coughLAURENcaough! its not my fault i've been so busy it is not even remotely fun. right now my mom walked in the kitchen doing a model walk and she is asking me why i look dead. laura just sugested that i ask chita to be our honorary grandmother and i'm laughing really hard!

i don't even know what has been happening man! well on tuesday i went BACK to randolph.. this time for pre-jazz with Lea. she is mucho coolio! i love her. i'm going on saturday for pre-jazz with her and then on sunday for hip-hop with melanie. so i'ma happy dancng fool! i love it! i thinks its my new drug. i can't get enough. i was walking up Yonge today and i was like wow i wnat to dance! but i didn't cause that would have been weird!

okay so that was tuesday! hmmm i've been shitting busy with that play man. but i skipped dress rehearsal to sleep at Cow's house for Chicago line day. we had fun. waatched the REnT comp and Sas on NghtMan.. always good stuff :) so then we woke up at 4:45am to go to line. cow decided she was sick and went to the hospital. i played in line with Ryan and Elizabeth. it was all good. i slept in line. about 1.5hours i was so so proud of myself. then i had my potato pancakes.. yuuuuummmmmmmm! got kick ass seats... just the ones i wanted. my mom is coming so tis all good :)

we had our first performance today. the costumes were FAB if i do say so myself! things went well.. i'm happy...w ooooooo less stress baby! happy me :) we have another show tomorrow! the one on saturday was cancelled in case of the whole janitor strike! OH YEAH AISLINNN WAS IN LINE TOO!!!!! OOPS!!!!!!!!!!

time to go! seeing CHICAGO TONGIHT!!!!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAH happy me :)


tonya :)


february 21, 1999

oy i really did to archive these journals man.. its going to be hard but it will get done someday soon okay :)i promise!

sooooo lots hasbeen happening maneroos! babysat friday and then went to Natalie's to sleep over because we were lining up for Chicago! so got over there we talked, renee did some dancing for us, so did nat actually.. she does the box step :) we watched chris' video... oy its so sad. guess who is it.. MY MOM. you see her talking to DANNY, TRICIA and my SAS:) oy vbey. if you know me youo know my theory about my mom and the cast... she takes them over. i'm in it too actaully. with sas :) BUT she isnt talking to me she's talking to my mom and i just happened to be there! la la la we went to bed. woke up at 4:15am(ewwww) taxied down.. and were in line. so many peeps were there!!!! max, cheri, cow, pickle, tallguy.. it was crazy.. funstuff.. of course ryan was there. so we got tickets... iran to play rehearsal... guh tthat was long! then left early to meet dani and laura. we did arts and crafts and then went to the stage door. talked to chita.. who didn't give me love;) (just joking). ran home. went to dinner went to chicago had fun came home!

busy busy. then i FINALLY went to Randolph iwith Renee. i had way to much fun. i'm in love with it i think. i think its a drug because i always want to go now! hopefully someone wil pay for me!

now i am here and chilling. all good.

nothing to say ciao!

Tonya -- Queen of All Things


february 18, 1999

guess who is one pissy girl tonight... ME ME ME! let me explain.. shall i?

so as we all know george's last show on ER. i have a major george thing. it goes all the way back to Sister's. i even used to watch ROSEANNE re-runs because i love dhim! i hate roseanne.. but love george so i had to get my Booker fix. i even used to watch him on Baby Talk. so now he is gone from the world of ER too sad!

kick ass episode. hello my name is Tonya and i was almost crying! carole... poor girl. best lines tho: i don't remember not loving him. and then there was also: i don't want to wake up alone tomorrow. does your heart not break. they finally got their act together now he is leaving. augh! so that was bad thing number one.

but see i thought there was agood thing. i heard sas was going to be on a talk show so i was like.. hmmm i'llg et tickets. turn out the taping was tonight! augh! it could have been my chance. can someone please remind me why i still think/care about rent shit. seriously! whihle it happens its so much fun. everyone is happy.. la la la. its over now whatever.. and you think wow i'm never going tothink about it anymore.. but guess what.. its a disesase i tell you! its over and i thin to a certain extent we thinkg about it more.. but in a different way i guess. so anyway the talk show would have been a chance to just say hey. why i want to say hey anyway... oy! its that whole caring thing again. so anyway.. little did i know that i had the opportunity to see sas.. its gone.. whatever .. i will deal.. alright chickies :)

so lets see.. happier me... if it is to be found on this VERY PISSY OFFY NIGHT! i'm going to randolph on sunday finally! that is good, right? what else good... i had Green Mango today.. that is good. what else got 95% on a politics test. see good things DO happen... bt on the other hand.. george is gone, i missed sas my *so* little, i have a stomach ache, and i got 75% on my history test. hehe i can balance every good thing with a bad thing. its an art. i'll stop being pissy onw its making me feel worse than before.

i think i need a chupa chup to feel better!

night suckers!

send me happy vibes :)

tonya -- the very berry pissy queen of all things


february 17, 1999

hey ho! guess what... i spent the ENTIRE night .. well from 7 until 11:30 minus a one hour break to watch Party of Five.. working on my histoire project. ugh! at least its finshed. i don't even know if its good. i did't proofread.. ihate proofreading, so lets pray its good!

party of five.. oy vey! when did they change Owen? before owen looked like he was in kindergarten now this kid looks 12! its crazy. finally poor owen gets a decent story line... apparently he has a learning disability or something. and stupid julia and her boyfriends who looks exactly like dean mcneill! is she retarded (not because he looks like dean mcneill). he is abusing her and she thinks its her fault AND she still decides to move in wiht him! can you spell retarded. and what is up with Claudia and Griffin. that is just icky. i hope they don't sleep together. but i bet at some point there will be some sort of relationship, which is ewy because that was julia's husband. oy.. those salingers!

hmmm well now that i've got you caught up in my friends lives what about me... wel l i stayed home from school today.. good stuff. i just chilled and ate more chicken soup. it was really nice. i love staying home. for the next little but i'll hardly be in school cause of the play. there are all these full day rehearsals and stuff. i'm a happy chickie!

okay time to go!

ciao.. and all that jazz!

Tonya :)


february 15, 1999

i started typing this kick ass entry but then my stupid comp decided to be a bad girl. augh, don't you hate that?

soooooo lets see. here is a secret... the date that i put on my journal isn't always the day that i write on. cause i usually wriete in the morning before i go to school.. its so much easier andi have way more energy to write with. plus i just write about the day before's events so its all good right :)

way too much work to get done. school play shit is pising me off! wardrobe all the time man.. its crazy. and i have a history essay due on thursday that i should really really start kind of sooon!

guess whre i might be going in the beginning of april... if you said Los Angeles you are right! my sis is working there for 2 weeks in april and she invited me to come visit. that would be nice huh? too bad RENT is gone tho. maybe i could drive to San Fran and see it. that would make me very berry happy.

i'm making breakfast right now, potato pancakes and they smell yummy :)i want them to be done right now!

hmmmm what else? i'm shitting my pants for the sas mummy episode. way to thrilling for me man. annnnnddddd on saturday my sis is *making* me take her to chicago. eventhough there are things i'd rather be doing that night that i can't cause seh is in town :( well at least i get to see Chita right :)

k, time to go..a nd eat eat eat!

ciao for now!

tonya- queen of all things


february 14, 1999

hey hey hey :) i forgot to tell y'all that i met Jennpease yesterday! she was sooooo nice! she wasn't scary like i thought she would be. laura, nat, elizabeth, lorilee and i walked over to the bus station to meet her after we got our tickets. her friend craig was also realy cool. so yeah Jennpease for not being scary!

oy! today i was watching this video with footage from the last in toronto. and there is this one point sas is on hugging someone and i was like awwww. but then i was like wait a minute... that's me! so then i was all disturbed. its so funny that it was randomly caught on tape me and sas hugging. then i'm on it for a bit more talking to her. and its weird cause i remember that conversation exactly. she was talking about how i was all stretched out in my real seats for the last show which are so much better compared to rush. ahhh memories! i feel like writing the sassy one a letter. i will *try* to resist the urge. but if i get bored in economics you can't say its my fault. i dunno i have this weird thing now about randomly writing letters. i feel weird ya know. cause the whole thing RENT is over yadda yadda yadda. and that basically any sort of thing that happened during that time is over cause everyone has moved on. oy! i so didn't explain that well at all. sorry :)

hmm HAPPY VALENTINE'S day! i babysat today. that was my fun stuff. i also had a falafel. nothing says valentine's like eating a falafel!

this is just a quick update cause i have to go! so talk to you later.



february 13, 1999

could this have been one of hte funniest days of my life? i think so :) let me share:

soooo woke up at 4:30am to go to CHICAGO (with el Chita). got there at 5:30 saw Ryan and Dani-sam!!!!!!! scalpers.. yuck and a half! la la la chiilled with old peeps in line who were cool. found a room to keep warm in that was a surprise! got tickets.. always good :) saw Phat Nat and LAURA came down as well!

then i went babysitting.. la la la not important.

sooooooo then i met dani-sam and Laura in the concourse. where we made a card for CHITA!!!! we aer 5 and a half! it was the funniest cutest thing in the world! we talked subway was open had my regulation sub.. always good.

dee dee dee .. show! CHICAGO ROCKS MY FUCKING WORLD!!!!! it was way too much fun! everyone rocked so much. Dani fell in love.. way too cute. i was so tired from having NNOOOOOOOOOo sleep at all! so after the show i toook pics with people. with CHITA! woohoo we gave her the card but we had tio tell her not to turn it a certain way or else the card would fall out (oops). i think its a cute pic but i'm not sure yet. got one with Legs aka Stephanie Pope. who is unfortunately leaving on wednesday... i started to like her man.. she was amusing. but now Ute is coming.. and she is supposed to be fantabulous! so that is alll good. who else did we get pics with.. Luther/Billy FUCKING Flynn!!!! OY FUCKING VEY!!!! guess what... HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ROGER IN RENT ON FREAKING BROADWAY!!!!!! how much were we all peeing! crack. poor guy we laughed too hard.

so that was chicago!

sas on nightman.. yadda yadda yadda.. wig... weird... oy vey she is mad at raleigh.. can't talk about it :)

tired need sleep now!

love ya!

tonya --queen of all things!

********************************************************************* february 12, 1999

guess what i'm listening to... Chicago OBC :) its amusing.. it has all of Roxie's little thing before ROxie:P)keeping me amused.. with my chita :) i'm amused wtih the Idea of Chita. see its not like i REALLY know about Chita... i remember coming back form Young People's Theatre when i was little and seeing a poster for Kiss of the Spider Woman or whateer the hell its called.. and seeing Chita Rivera on it. that is my early chita memory. then rosie used to takl about her all the time.. and she was on Rosie.. and if she's good enough for Rosie she's good enough for me :) so now Chita keeps me amused.

so what is up in your life? how is your sister/brother/mother/father/significant other? i'm glad/sad to hear that they are doing wee/badly. i hope things aproove/stay the same as they are.

school is fun fun fun as usual. we got our option sheets.. always exciting! love me some course selection :) Lauren is doing well for herself... got her self an agent :) you go girl :) she's on her way to being a Ghetto Superstar :)Which rocks my world.. cause then i get to interview her when she's big (hehe)

tomorrow is chicago day! get to see myt Dani-Sam and Taura1 :) always fun! we will have a par-tay in line :)

i have to wake up awy to early so i will be outtie for now :)

love ya!

ciao bellas :)

Tonya -- Queen of All Things


february 11, 1999

well well.. seems like i've been updating every two days now huh? i will try better!

I HATE ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE MY JOURNAL BOOKMARKED! oy! i'm a hit bitch.. ineed the hits on my main page people! so dont' bookmark this book mark the main page oka :) oy! i sound like Lauren :)

Life is beautiful :)

Chicago on Saturday.. its all good :)

nothing to write.. sorry for the lack of exciteingness!

i'm hungry.. i want food! my tummy is going grrrrr grrrrr grrrrrr ! i tell it to stop and it says murmel murmel! isay down girl and it says.. you are my funky chicken!

OY my poor George :( he is SO getting fired on ER! and he just got into an accident! oy vey :( i'm going to miss havng Doug on ER.... oy... the good ole days :) i'm a george freak.. iknow way to much random info about him. liek how much hs pig max weighs and stuff like that. from my years as a George chronologicer :)

murmel murmel! down girl! (that was my stomach)

k, bed time cause i'm cracked!

love you you Gina queens :)

tonya :)


february 9, 1999

hey bébés! i learned that handy trick from miss Dani-Sam :)

hmmmmm what to say oh what to say? my bio teacher is screwing us all over. the smartest girlie in our class.. well her average dropped 10% cause of her and mine has dropped i think 6 or 8%. is that fun stuff or what? at least she knows its her fault cause she apologizes to me :)

the fookin' (that's an emery-ism) soundtrakc isn't out in this el stupido country yet. mr man at Theatre Q's has no clue. oy! not very fun. i was looking forward to getting it today.. but what can you do. then i was going to buy the original Chicago Cd. but i decided to buy it at theatre q's cause the people are so nice.. even if it does cost a dollar more.. i'd rather spend my money at a happy plae rather than the hell hole that is HMV!

miss sassy was on nightman on monday. i didn't watch i was sleeping. but it will be on on the weekend so its all good. chicago and saskia on nightman.. happy weekend :) speaking of happiness.. my george is on the cover of TV guide. i bought it :) i NEVER buy tv guide.. but i did for george :)

my sounds are coming along.. i need to start my mimi review thingy before i put everything up. OMG i was listening to London RENT today.. its hilarious! cuase someof the people have accents.. i was having way to much fun with Amanda Posener as JOanne.. very berry cute! i wanna be british!

i'm thinking if i don't move to NYC when i'm old i think i wanna live in Europe. at this moment i'm pissy about North America.. no reason just am. or i would move to like jamaica i think. so NYC, London, Paris or Jamaica. eventhough there probably isnnt huge journalism stuff happening in all those places.. i have other interests to like advertising so its all good :)

hmmm what else oh what else? eh.. nothing really :) might have a spice girls party to night with the kid i babysit for if she's not being a bitch!

ciao for now!

tonya -- Queen of all things :)


februray 7, 1999

hey all :)

i think RENT has screwed everyone's opinions of me :( see everytime i mention to someone that i saw Chicago they aer like.. is it going to be another RENT? oy! it gets so annoying i swear 5 people asked me that. but on the otherhand i am going to go back and see Chicago. cause my mom and my sister want to see it, and plus this weekend.. so whatever.

i've added frames.. arent' they beautiful? they were a bitch to make. it took me like forever to catch on. but lauren is queen so she helped me figure it out :)

phat nat the cat oh phat nat the cat! phat nat the cat kicks somee ass! i was supposed to write something special about my phat nat the cat.. but its really early and i need to get on moving.. buti will later okay girlie;)

hmmmm what else? i have a mask presentation today and i haven't practised my character at all :( oh well.. i'l have a shitty unit.

okay time to go :)


tonya-- Queen of All Things


february 5, 1999

i keep on disappearing huh :) i apologize.. like you all care :) i've been busy and tired.. so not alot of net for me :)

saw CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!!! freaking amazing! CHITA CHITA CHITA! how is that woman THE CUTEST thing! she had me peeing in my pants! Stephanie Pope as Velma.. oy! i liked her. her real name is legs.. cause that is all she is.. legs up to the sky! PUumba from Lion King was in it. so was Marcia Lewis.. who rocked my world! she is a kickass mama morton!

and the highlight.. is that billy flynn looks like Luther.. i'm not joking. he came out on stage and Lorilee started peeing.. no one could hold a straight face thru that song. it was amusante.. but OY! the note in We Both Reaced For the Gun... it was awful... i could feel his pain!

nothing else to report.. to tired!




february 2, 1999

is everbody here? is everybody ready?

i dont care about expensive things, cashmere coats, diamond rings.. don't mean a thing, all i care about is love (that's what he's here for)!

first preview of Chicago tonight.. i can't wait to see it again.. mainly cause i want to see the famous Chita Rivera in it babeeee. Rosie O is obsessed with her.. so i'm assuming she must be the shit :) i don't know when i'm going tho.. i have the offers rolling in :)

eh things are cool. haven't been online much cause i actaully have homework to do! i just check my mail and of course my stats and i'm on my way.. which is why i haven't talked to most of you in ages.. so smooches to all!

my bio teacher says that its not her job to teach us... do we see a problem here? she is our TEACHer she is therefore supposed to TEACH us. we have a test on a chapter she didn't teach us really.. she's just like read the book. so i'm thinking if she isn't going to teach do i still need to be in class> i don't skip.. but the fact that she isn't supposed to teach us is such a tempting invitation. i have never ever skipped a class.. how kooky is that?

argh! I'M SO TIRED!!!!! but i'm not allowed to be cuase i need to be doing my work.. i have 3 tests tomorrow.. not very fun at all! bio, economics and english. wish me luck pookies :) i'm also busy making bootlegs.. my mom wants me to stop cause she thinks i'm going to get arrested trading.. its pretty funny i laughed for like an hour about that one.

i've been making and uploading sounds for da site :) i'll have them up after the weekend cause i need my rent documentary back from Phat Nat cause i wanna put Sas' part on it. .. but otherwise i'm pretty much done.. i just need to record the nightman stuff and the interview that was on last weekend and then WHAM BAM! i'll be done :)

augh! i wish myna didn't suck! i really want to be online right about now!!

Lion King is here in about 13 months.. fun stuff.. loved that show!

i want to see Miss Saigon.. been listening to the music... need to see the show.. same with Cabaret.. but its coming wit da Butz. how is Norbert Leo Butz not the funnest name to say in the world? just say it! and you can play with it too.. Nutz bout da Butz.. i love that! i've never heard/seen da butz .. one day tho!

k, time to do workaroo :)


tonya -- Queen of All Things


january 31, 1999

hey bobbies and barbaras! how goes it?

i don't feel like updating today that much! nothing to report. i had mcdonalds! that was fun.. it always is! chicken mcnuggets... yummmm!

i'm finally going dancing! woohoo. Randolph here i come. this tuesday with Renee! i've been meaning to go since.... september! wow1 talking about procrastination! but i wil go so its all good!

wanna know who is really very berry special... DANI-SAM! how do i love dani-sam .. let me count the ways! ahhhh there are too many.. i love her to much! such a faithful reader of my daily bitchings and moanings! she's a good kid :)

hmmm what else? bio test tomorrow. supposed to have studied. got my microphone.. been making sounds.. didn't study too much. its about genetics... fun stuff :)

i've done all the rent sounds and all the Love and Sas sounds. but they aren't up.. but they will be soon. i'm also putting up the interview and sas on nightman. fun stuff huh?

hope nat and lau lau did well on the science exam that has had them stressed for the past bit!

wanna know who else rocks my world and floats my boat besides dani-sam and laura (of course)... COW! she has a real name... Lisa but we don't use that too often.. she is simply cow. we are going to cleavland! woohoo. we wanna see a horse :) coughjuliasantanacough :) fun stuff :)

bed time... OMG KIM DIES IN MISS SAIGON!!!!! i just finished listening to it! she dies.. heavy stuff! its hard to get past the first cd cause it has hookers and i'm obsessed with hookers. hmmm never talked about my hooker thing have i? well.. i don't know any, i don't want to be one, and i think its morally wrong. but i'm amused by the whole concept and how they are portryaed. its interesting. like any hooker song i love. oh yeah.. not hookers in miss saigon but there are dancing girls. like in Les Miz why is my fave song lovely ladies (well nt realy but it amuses me). my my i must sound crazy.. my ventin last night and now my hooker obsession being exposed!

sleep is good :)

love ya babies :)

tonya -- Queen of All Things who has no affiliations with hookers nor does she want any.. she's just a little interested in the concept!


january 30, 1999

hey all :) ya know what.. i'm feeling rank :( ugh i have this feeling in my stomach that is pissing me off.. let me tell you about my day. this is going to be kind of long i can tell already!

today was adventure for a microphone and nightman day... i don't think sas was on nightman.. but whatever. more excitedly I GOT MY MICROPHONE!!!! so that means lots of soundfiles for me.. very berry exciting stuff!

so i'm sitting at home making soundfiles from the last show and i'm like wow its over. yes yes i know its over.. but i was like it kind of sucks that its over. i've never thought that before. i haven't listened to our cast since last year i think.. in all honesty i've been listening to my NYC tapes.. not our cast so.. listening just brought back memories and stuff which was cool.. so after that i was in a semi-foul mood. then i had to go babysitting.

we watched Indiana Jones which rocked. then the kids went to bed and i called my mom. and she was like lauren called.. something about saskia being on tv. so i hung up callded lauren and got all the info. so i'm sitting there waiting for it and i'm getting all tense. it was so weird! like my stomach started feeling icky and my hands got cold! what the hell is up with that man???? so i watched it was cool. i think this is when everything turned foul.

see i'm not sure exactly WHY i'm feeling foul. augh! i hate thinking.. i think i need to contemplate so i can articulate exactly what i need to say.

randomness: SAS DOESN"T DRINK< SMOKE, OR DO DRUGS!!! now everyone go to the section all about me and see what I the Queen of All Things DOESN'T DO! haha

my logic about not going to that stuff is that if you want your body to do good things.. you can't give it bad stuff. i just think its icky. i personally think that its all poison shit. all of it.. there are NO good effects to that stuff that i think FOR ME would make doing it worth it. so dont offer me any of that shit okay :) ALSO i don't really care if i know people who do it.. so if you do don't hide it :) no judgements.. to each his own. i used to have this whole thing about the body being a temple.. i'm trying really hard to remember that thing now. something about the body being a temple and what you put into it are the offerings.. i'm not religious.. so its not a religion thing.. just little ole me. hmm while we are talking about that lets talk about sex babee lets talk about you and me :)

see that is my other thing that i'm big on.. no pre-marital sex :) see part of the whole drinking, drugs thing is that it leaves you in a vulnerable state.. where you are exposed and just able to be messed wtih. same with pre-marital sex... i mean virginity is a pretty big thing that you (usually) have control of. so why just give it up? i mean what if you think someone is "the one" and it isn't and you go and screw them and then its over? see to me that sucks. sooooo waiting until marriage is a cool thing. cause its like you are saving this "thing".. i dunno.. hard to write down.. its more of an in my head thing... whatever.. i will be a non-drinking, non-smoking, non-drug doing, virgin for a while :)

okay talkig to perv and we are trying to figure out the foulness.

i NEVER feel foul.. well REALLY rarely! i don't like feeling foul.. i need some amusement or something to stop feeling foul.

see i had a theory about the foulness now i can't remember.. oy! i hate that!

k, time to talk about sas on tv :) THEY SHOWED LOVE AND SAS!!!! very amusing for me :) sas on nightman, sas in rent.. OMG sas in rent! didn't even occur to me! she has press reels :) she HAD press reels.. rent is over :) see perv and i are talking. here is a possible theory: seeing people doing things other than rent solidifies the fact that rent in canada is REALLY over. i mean it would be common to see a cast member mbe on a show talking about rent.. but here was saskia talking about.. gulp.. NOT RENT! i mean yeah for like 2 seconds whatever.. but she has moved on.. go her :) but its still weird ya know? and it totally rocks.. cause she is doing other things and is (hopefully) happy and feeling fufilled and all that jazz. so once again go her :)

but that isn't the cause of the foulness i don't think.. it could be a factor but not the source. the search continues.

how about some more random thoughts :) this has been brought up MANY times by different people.. but usually by my cloret :) isn't it weird how *most* (not all) "rentheads" have a cast memebr who they.. okay can't say the word.. cause i know i don't "worship" anybody... i guess admire.. but taht sounds so serious! but i will use admire.. isn't it strange? i mean how does it happen? how do you end up being so enthralled(?) by someone. like when i saw the show the first time i was like OMG mimi and maureen (krysten and jen) were amazing. then i went back and still loved jen..and so she was my favourite for AGES! when i first started going it was like.. sas? whatever.. it was al about jen! then sas disappeared.. and reappeared and she was so darn amusing :) so then by ottawa she was my "favourite". but what "happens".. i don't know its weird stuff. its not like i want to be like her.. i'm not a singer, dancer OR actress! strange stuff... stop and think :)

now i'm laughing really hard and i'm forgetting about being foul :) isn't that lovely :) perv its all about the cough medecine!

i think it would be impossible to de-rent myself totally... its just so around. i don't even have to start a convo about it.. people will start to talk to me about it. that would be a goal.. not talk about rent for a day. i should try. we should all try. a non rent day :) maybe that is what i need.. to get over it. i mean i can see the show.. seing another cast is like nothing to me.. its just seeing the show... but its all the shitheads that were in the canadian cast. its different when you are into it. i mean in NYC i was so like WHATEVER about meeting people and getting pictures.. i didn't even talk to YAZ (okay if you know me you know about the yaz thing). so anyway... i never thought i would still care after. i knew i'd have my friends and all that.. but i figured i'd have been over the people and the stuff. but it hasnt happened... yet :) like who would have thought i would be taping episodes of NightMan! ugh!

maybe i have found the source of my foulness! i think i'm foul over still caring! OMG that is it! i could lie to myself and be like i don't care what happens to so and so.. but in all honesty i do. like running into karen holness made my... week! running into sas would have made my.. 2 weeks? no.. more like my year.. or at least month! and why SHOULD i care if i see people? ugh! why do we still care? i think i've hit RENT puberty :) oy! now i'm feeling pissy again. perv just pointed out that i hit RENT menopause! woohoo! so back to the point... it was good times.. of course it was.. but good times end.. and things are supposed to move on. and i have to ann extent but the rent thang is stil there. i mean i changed my tv viewing to watch DEAN MCNEILL!!! (altho he is one studly guy.. OMG guys i'm SO joking about that!). what up with that.. i think i missed Mad About You! but why did i do that.. cause i care! but i don't want to care anymore. i need to go back to me. don't get me wrong... if Saskia were to like e-mail me or if i were to see her somewhere.. YES i would SPAZ (me.. spaz? never!) ... but .. i dunno its weird stuff.

okay time to wrap this thing up! we learned that: i am feeling foul but not as foul as before cause i reached conclusions. i'm tired of caring. moving on is good. and its not a global rent thang its more of an our cast thing. i feel really relieved its weird! don't get me wrong i don't hate rent or resent it or anything... i just don't want it to all be about rent anymore. i will keep up my site and stuff... cause now that Miss Sas (who may get the title of Duchess of All Things) is moving on so does the its all good :) hmmmmm would rock if i could be the official site. oy! don't i sound hypocritical :) read everything above and read what i last said :) anyways! time to go.. and i don't feel foul anymore. thanks for reading :) feel free to discuss! love ya!

ciao my little bellas!

tonya -- the UNFOUL Queen of All Things!


january 29, 1999

hey guys first of all.. WELCOME BACK LAURA!!!!!!!!!

she is back from Florida.. land of the lizards! and boy am i happy she is back.. too bad she isn't online.. she is out gallavanting about the town!

yesterday iwas sick... the lovelyworld of cramps.. and boy was that exciting. i puked bile..and then i puked blue stuff.. which is weird cause i didn't eat anything blue! i almost fainted which wasn't fun cause i was all by my lonesome.. .then at some point i couldnt see and hten i had a buzzing sound in my ears!augh it was shitty!

now i'm better. i didn't go to school today. well for like 2 seconds cause i needed to get a *certain* video from Jaime.. and cause i needed to pick up books!

my mom ordered chinese food and now she may buy me ice cream.. she is being a very berry good girl these days. OY! i have to go buy tapes.. that is one of the things i hate doing.. buying tapes. i like getting tapes but the act of making them is annoying.

okay i'm going.. i'm not feeling to talkative!


tonya-- Queen of All Things


january 27, 1999

i love writing in my journal... but sometimes its just too hard. like right now i really dont feel like writing but i am.. i guess i fell guilty to the whole 2 of you that read :) i'm joking there are more than too people that read.

MY TAURA 1 aka Laura comes back tomorrow... crazy girl went to Florida and abandoned me here! I think that she went to Florida to stalk Emery.. but i'm not too sure yet :)

today was parent teacher interview day... always fun. nothing bad was said.. my mom felt like an ass cause she thinks i'm doing bad..eventhough i'm not :) my ass is on the honour roll baby :) i made her go look and find my name. i got ice cream and coke AND a bag of licorice.. its generous mommy :) i want Chinese food really bad. one of my teachers is going to drop my entire first term mark.. i think its illegal.. but very good for me. i dind't do badly... but just not as wellas before exams.. so if i work my ass off at havig the mark i didn before exams i get to forget about first term... ilove my life :)

my sister has e-mai again.. always a pleasure. she still doesn't know where my site is or that it is finshed. i can't show it to her. she doesn't understand the "rent thing". she knows i have a page about saskia.. but she thinks its in the works. not even my mom has seen it. ha! no one will :)

what else... oh what else? trading bootlegs again! anyone want to trade? e-mail me : i like tapes :)

lauren's journal rocks.. and she is also a hit bitch so go visit

okay bed time!

ciao for now

Tonya -- Queen of All Things


january 25, 1999

hey honey bums!

can i just say i hate hate hate my computer. its being mean... or maybe its myna that is being mean i'm not sure. anyhoo i'm writing this offline which is annoying cause now i have to transfer it to tripod..yadda yadda yadda.

lauren and i had a nice talk about things other than poo :) we got into this whole thing about being what we want to be. and she mentioned how i used to be sooooo into my journalism thing. which is SO true. i still know i will be a journalist.. but i've been schmucky for the past little while. but now i'm being better and i'm getting back on track. i guess i've just had a few distractions over the past 10 months or so. but i'm going to get in touch with my CityTv guy and see what we can do about me skipping another day of school and getting to play at City. the last time i went it was so much fun. i got to drive around in the city mobile and we chased a story. fine we didn't really chase a story we did halloween safety tips.. but still. i got to be right in the planning of it and all. it was mucho fun. and i got to meet so many of the people that i had been watching on tv since i was little. anyhoo... wanna know why lauren will be an actress and i will be a journalist... of course you do! cause we have DRIVE! the conclusion is that as long as you want something badly enought it will happen. as long as you MAKE it happen. you can't sit oon your ass and just hope.. you have to get up and do something about it. hell i could be a freaking astronaut or something if that is what i wanted.. why? because i can do anything. well so can you.. but we are talking about me here :)

but its weird i used to be so into writing and then i just stopped. i guess cause i always got busy doing "stuff". i remember i was in this journalism workshop in the summer. and one morning i went to line up and then i was going to go to the workshop. but like 10mins before i was supposed to leave i was like screw this and i called them and told them that i couldn't come. that was stupid.. but whatever. the point is whats done is done and tomorrow is another day! so i will talk to CityPulse and i will figure out a topic to write about for Young People's Press! any suggestions?

today was a whatever day. nothing good. nothing bad. nothing interesting. when i say nothing good i don't mean it in a bad way.. i just mean nothing great to report!

i love posting about my site. i'm a hit bitch.. or am i a hit whore.. what am i again lau lau? the point is that i love me some hits! try to reel people in anyway again :)

i really want a waffle. but my mom is sleeping and she makes them good cause our stove is screwy and i'm afraid of it. is it bad to wake her up to make a waffle? she's been sleeping for so long.. it would do her good to wake up!

parent teacher interviews this week. always fun stuff. i got my report card. my mom won't comment cause i already told her that i was dumb :) eventhough i'm not.. i was just being bad and manipulative. my mom offered to take me to a movie :) go me!

one thing about my mom is that she can never say when something is good. its very berry annoying. sure she can bitch when things are wrong.. but she can never be like :way to go sport" or "great job keep it up!". mental note WHEN i have kids.. i'll be supportive.. its more fun that way. but whatever i KNOW i rock :)

oy! its late i'm tired. i need sleep and i REALLY want to check my stats cause i'm bored as well.. hopefully this stupid internet wil work so i can get my mojo working. i like that "get my mojo working". i don't even know what a mojo is. i read it when i was like 10 or something.

and another oy! ally was a rerun.. but a jesse rerun so it wasn't that bad. jesse is cool. jesse on ally, jesse in rent, jesse in london, jesse singing.... jesse mowing my lawn in his skiivies... its all good ;) i was so thinking of something else to write there... but it was randomly pervy and i'm laughing really hard right now. i need sleep to cure the pervs. oh dont worry i won't be sleepingn in a Duneland t-shirt okay :) oh well goodnight...


tonya -- Queen of All Things


january 24, 1999

i need motivation to write in my journal! i need a topic.. some inspiration! i miss laura who is currently in Florida... hi Laura wherever you are!

ohyeah so the Nigerian guy. i was at the bus stop at like 10pm on my way home from babysitting. and this nigerian guy comes in and he's like hi how are you. so i'm like fine. and then he's asking me all these questions.. whats my name (mimi leblanc), my age (23), my job by day i work at GAP and by night i'm an actress.. i'm into theatre. where i'm from (boston) what's my religion (i'm not religious but i'm currently gaining insight into buddhism) then he's telling me how i should be christian and stuff and he wants to take me to church and stuff. it was hilarious! he told me i shouldn't act and that i should go to school and study business. i asked him if my professors at Harvard school of drama were wrong in telling me that i'm going to be a broadway star. i was amused. i totally created this whole other person for myself.. i liked that :)

i thought it was really funny how he wanted me to abandon my Buddhism to be christian. i mean its sooooooo my business! if i'm happy being buddhist why the hell question it ya know! and who is he to try and convert me.. was annoying.. and i'm not even really buddhist! my sister used to try to get me to go to church... i refused. just cause it was her. i have nothing against church at all.. sure i'd go.. but don't you have to know stuff before you go in. isn't it like a little club with rules and all that stuff. the whole thing seems scary. i'm not at all religious. i know i'm baptized. and i've always wanted to go to catholic school so that i could wear a uniform but that is it. i mean i'm content with the beliefs i have.. if you've ever had a real late nite IM convo with me then you know the basis.. no drinking, drugs, smoking or pre-marital sex. but its not like i preach that stuff.. its just what i go by. i don't go out and like snatch cigs out of peoples hands and stuff.. i just don't participate and don't appreciate trying to be coherced into that kind of thing. but then there is a part of me that wishes that there could be two of me... just so i could know how the "otherside" lives.

ahhhhhh i'm thinking i'll stop :)

hmmmm what else... i'm up now mainly cause i wanna watch NightMan again. i taped it.. then i wanted to re-tape cause the format of my vcr was screwed so now i have to tape again... no prob tho.. its fun to watch Saskia on tv. i wonder how long she will be on NightMan for.. i guess we'll have to see. i'm really really curious about that whole mummy episode thing!

i just have to say that i'm really reall y happy that i don't have exams right now! i laugh at all of you!

okay this chicka needs to go cause its 11:05pm and i have a Politics test that needs to be studied for!

oh yeah! i saw Shakespeare in Love. rocked my little world! I SO understand the commotion over Joe Fiennes.. he is *talented*. i recommend.. its not boring. i had no clue it took place in the 1500's! i don't read magazines anymore... so i was like what the hell! but its good. Gwyneth was Gwyneth what can i say. the guy from my best friends wedding was in it.. and a lot of other familar people. Gwyneth just won a golden globe for it.. go her! she dresses well:)


tonya -- Queen


january 23, 1999

what a day what a day what a WEEK!

you have been witness to tonya's crack week! dean m on tv.. karen h in Union... and now the Divine Miss S on NIGHTMAN>.. FINALLY!! to read about it go to my nightman section.

lets just say it was me spazzing and watching the scenes 1 too many times. i can't watch NightMan withmy mom.. its just wrong. she makes me laugh way too much. but it was good stuff.

right now i'm talking to cow and i'm laughing really hard cause i had the funniest thought. i could share.. but i won't.. sorry! i'm laughing harder now... we are talking about medical services, flirting and acting .. quite the mixed bag!

i really don't have anything interesting to say so i will go smelly po's!


tonya -- queen of all things!

my poor laura is gone and i didn't get to say bye and i'm sad and she's not checking e-mail anymore.. so i can't sen dher a plane letter :(


january 22, 1999

OY VEY!!!!!! you know when you have one of those days and you are just like what the hell was that? well today was one of those days.

so i'm in union station with jaime and sadie. after a long trek to return my microphone and look for maps of michigan. we are about to pay our fare when i loook over and see (trumpet music) bum bum pah bum!!! KAREN HOLNES!!!!!!!!! so in my head i'm thinking KAREN HOLNESS. but i accidentally say it out loud and she turns around with that "what the fuck" look on her face and is like hi. and she is just staring and shes like i know i know you from somewhere.. and i was like RENT! and she was like YEAH thats it or something. so i'm like what have you been up to.. and shes like she was in Vancouver and stuff then came back here for December.. but i wasn't really listening to well.. .cause it was KAREN HOLNESS. okay if you know me you know what me running into karen holness is like.. (Nat shut up!) hello vancouver.. me.. her solo.. thursday night anyone? then she asks me how school was and i was like.. its well school. and i didn't know what else to say to her cause i wanted to PEE MY PANTS. so i was like it was nice seeing you but i've got to run. and that was my adventure!

random sightings are always fun!

i never told the story about the Nigerian man hitting on me at the bus stop at ten o;clock did i? well its was weird and i will so right about it another time but i'm so so so tired and wired!

ciao for now :)

tonya -- Queen of All Things!


january 20, 1999

i think i'm sick. not physically sick.. but maybe its a mental thing. recently i have been having bizarro dreams. i wrote about some of them before but here is another one. i had a dream last night that it was the last show somewhere and Cary and Chad were the only two onstage. and cary goes backstage and comes out with these 2 little train engines. but the problem is he can't get them to start! so he's trying so hard working up a sweat but the engines won't start. one was black and one was pink. so then i decide that i'm going to help so i go home and get some specail oil that helps the engine start. so then cary gets on one of the engines and starts riding around the stage. then he invites me to ride around on the other engine. and then cahd starts whining cause he doesn't have an engine to ride. and cary tells him to suck it up and deal.

weird stuff eh? i wonder what it means!

so then a while ago i had this other dream that i was auditioning for RENT. but it was in front of Whitney Houston. so i go in and i'm belting my heart out. and then whitney and her assistant start talking. then she stops me ans asks me if i'm for real. as in do i really want to be in rent wiht a voice like mine. it was strange stuff!

today i have suck a clear head! i made a list of what classes i'm going to be taking until the end of highschool. so i'm happy. i think i'm going to end up graduating with about 40 credits 10 of which are OSC's or something crazy like that. i'm so excited about finishing school now! our biology teacher can't teach. our class has to teach ourselves cause she is so dumb.

i had exciting news but i can't remember what! dean m is going to be on tv tonight!!!!!! that wasn't the exciting news. someone mysterious posted it on the board. sunny. the dean lover. we are thinking that maybe sunny IS dean mcneill. how funny would that be! i've called for sunny to step forth and e-mail me so tht we can get down to the bottom of the mystery!

alrighty its bed time.. actaully not bed time. i lie its just time to go!

ciao for now!


********************************************************************** january 19, 1999

howdu peeps!

eh, nothing to report today really. i'll write a better one tomorrow!

got some videos in the mail. they made me very berry happy

went babysitting. the kid threatened to never show me her summersault if i made her take a bath!

i'm reading Tortilla Curtain and its keeping me entertained.

Dev saw RENT. more importantly Dev saw Chad. i'm assuming she is a happy girl.

i'm tired so i will go!


Tonya -- Queen of All Things


january 18, 1999

eh, so nothing much to write about today. it was one of those slow days when nothing happens. i was ten minutes early for school and i had NO CLUE what to do with all that extra time.. it was so confusing!

i had a dream a few nights ago that i was auditioning to be in RENT in front of Whitney Houston. and when i started singing she asked me if i was for real or if i was joking around. hm come to think of it people ask me that in real life when i start to sing :) if you've heard me sing you know what i'm talking about. i cannot carry a toon to save an inchworm! i don't know if i got the part tho :)

oh here is an interesting story. my mom told me that i have lost my "sparkle" and thinks i'm depressed or something :) its very amusing. and she found my exam papers... which i wasn't hiding! if she had asked about them i would have mentioned them. well the story with exmas was that i just wasn't feeling the vibe. so instead of explaining that to my mom i told her that i'm just dumb. my logic was that pretending that i have low self confidence is easier than explaining my lack of enthusiasm for our education system. so now mommy is taking pity on my soul and being really really nice about stuff... hmm maybe i can get a trip to lansing out of it :) so when the report card comes... which is no doubt lower than normal.. but my overall average shold still be somewher in the 80's.. i'll just whip out the excuse that i'm not smart. i know iknow its evil.. i shouldn't... but its SUCH a good escape route. i know i'm not dumb. and i don't believe that people are dumb (some exceptions.. but that is more dumbass than dumb). i just think that people have their outlets where they express themselves better in certain situations then in others. so one who doesn't do well in school is not destined for failure... there is hope for all who *actually* believe that they aren't smart.

its very amusing. ever since i told my bio teacher that her teaching methods confuse the bejesus out of me.. she is making *extra* sure that i know what is happening. its cute. and the thing is that i understand whate are doing now, she just refuses to believe. oh well what can you do :)

oy! that whole luther the boards is WAY too amusing! i must admit when i read it i was like cool.. but then i did a double take and snapped back into reality and was like what the hell!?!?!??!?! but some people are taking this way out of hand. it was a joke!!!! oy... people are strange n'est pas?

emery saw the Benny TOUr ALL weekend! crazy little crack baby :) she had fun tho.. and she took a picture with trish that sounds very amusing for me.. so i cannot wait. speaking of the United States.. i need the FOOTLOOSE soundtrack to come out right about NOW!!!! argh.. i have been trying to sing it and i just can't! i need my Rusty vibes! did i ever mention how much that girl rocked? she did.. very berry amusing and entertaining.

if we took a holiday.. took some time to celebrate.. it would be it would be so nice! that is my random Madonna for the day. i do need a holiday.. that is what i need. and NO not even a rent related one. i mean just some serious chill time where i don't have to even pretend to think about work! but that is what summer is for n'est pas?

oy! jesse was on ally again :) always good. not even cause he is part of the OBC or anything.. its strictly based on the fact that he is mucho hot... almost at George Clooney levell but not quite. oy! i have serious george issues... i'm rekindling the *obsession*. i'm at the point where i'm just about to go to Yahoo! and find webpages :) but isn't that what being a teenager is about?

time to go to bed now!

ciao for now!

tonya -- Queen of All Things who is anxiously awaiting Luther Creek's return to Chicago as Mary Sunshine :)

********************************************************************** january 17, 1999

hey chickies!

boy has a lot of stuff been happening! well not really i've just been very very busy!

because of the RUCKUS amounts of snow school was cancelled on Friday. which was a good and bad thing. imean wooohooo school was closed but, oy vey! nat's party! so it turned out that Lauren aka the little ball of stress couldn't have it in the school gym because schools were closed :( but luckily her parents let her move the party into her basement! woohoo lauren's parents. the party was cool. nat was surprised.. which was good cause that is the point of a surprise party! it was interesting it was one of those divided parties. IBland vs. Rentland. it was cute. so we sat, we talked, we ate. and then it was sleepover time! can i just say that we are incapable of shutting up! we went to bed at 4am! araghama fa! it was very late. it was probably a lot of my fault. i was talking a lot.. but so was nat ! and lisa cow.. so it wasn't just me. i think we were a little delirious acuse our conversations werea little bit weird. ummm just ASK who Stevo, Rodrigo and Rosco are.. just ASK! so i probably got 4 hours of sleep or someting. and we all discovered that alice snores and that Press doesn't actually moan in her sleep.. its all good stuff. lauren's dog is cute but he likes to doggy lick people.. but still very cute :)

so then i went home after lisa's mom drove me home. and i went downtown. i ran into cow 2 times. in the GAP and in the Musical Theatre section in HMV. hmmm cow into GAP and musicals? never! i bought jeans, a shirt, 3 pairs of socks.. and it came to like $132!!!!!!! augh! that is why i dont shop anymore! but i had gift certificates so it was all very berry good. then i bought Cabaret (to witness the miracle that i have heard is Alan Cumming) and i bought Miss Saigon. so i'm a happy chickie! at some point i craved a falafel.. so i ate and boy was it good!

there is no direction to this journal.. i need to focus hocus pocus! what else... laura and i discovered that i just may possess the possessive gene... but it only comes out when i feel thereatened. and it was only a moment of possessiveness.. so its all good. and then it went away cause everything was all good.. so i'm a happy girlie!

i e-mailed dev.. i've been meaning to e-mail her for AGES!! i wrote 13 e-mails this morning.. can we say bored with a capital B????? that is me!

tonight is NightMan night! the page is almost finished. i think i'm a closet NightMan addict... hm i guess that was me coming out wasn't it. i haven't even SEEN saskia on it and i'm adicted. even if she were never to be on i'd still be addicted. i get addicted to weird ass shows.. i have a history of it. right now i'm in love with that new Olsen twins show!

oh yeah! dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani dani

i'm giving dani love :) ooop!

laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura laura . my twin needs love too :) laura arn't i good.. i haven't even mentioned Emery yet :)

okay poo poos i must go and do some work for i have wasted half the day away!

ciao for now!

tonya :)


January 14, 1999

i had this whole journal entry planned but i had the weirdest dream that i have to talk about!

okay it took place on the subway. it was me, a whole bunch of "rentheads" and Cary. for some reason we were all saying goodbye to him on the subway. and he was going around and saying special goodbyes to people. to lauren he said that she was always special to him. to lisa cow he said that he never really liked her and then to me he was like i wish i could have gotten to know you better and then he winked! so i was like what is stopping you. and then he invited me out skating. then he wanted to buy everyone presents but i refused to go. when everyone came back they had computer software and accessories. but lucky me.. cary brought me back some Godiva chocolate! then we went skating together and i ran into by friend and this guy she was with. and we went to get hot chocolate and we were talking about our "men". a little cracked i think so! its cause i was talking about cary with lisa before bed. and i think i was talking about him in an e-mail or something too.

i always have weird dreams. i swear in NYC i thought i was being corrupted by some force. i had so many weird dreams!

one night i had a dream that cary and chad were having a concert. i was supposed to meet lisa cow and lara and they were going to drive me down there. but as i was leaving saskia and her brother had two cars and they were waiting to drive me down. when we got there cary and chad kidnapped saskia's brother and performed an alien autopsy on him. i don't thin i ever did get to see that concert...

then another night i had a dream that the people i babysit for got another cat. but the cat was vicious and it would run and jump on people and try to claw them to death. so i was like running around the city trying to run away from this vicious cat. it was so so so scary!

then my other weird dream was that we were at RENT in vancouver, but the theatre was also where everyone lived and it was called the RENT mansion. and my sister was there.. and she wanted me to introduce her to people. so i took her upstairs and we played Bridge with saskia, tricia and karen leblanc.

so those are my weird ass dreams.. dram your own conclusions :)

ciao for now

Tonya -- Queen of All Things


january 13, 1999

i'll write a really good one tomorrow. i found out some interesting stuff that has made me think a lot.

tonya -- queen of all things


january 11, 1999

woohoo i'm getting better at this whole updating thing aren't i? i think i just may have found my groooooovvvveeeeeeeeeee!!!! i can't get on IM for some strange strange reason which is very berry annoying cause i want to take to my twin (laura)! i think i will mention laura's name one more time cause she was jealous when i mentioned someone else yesterday. LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA!

this has started off as a good week. i'm a day ahead of my homework which is fun stuff. what else is happening.. nothing really. my sister was here for the weekend.. whatever i thnk i mentioned the clip already. arghhhhhhh i need to make a hair appointement.. i always forget! i one a free hairdo i think which is good.. free is always nice!

emery wrote a kick asss hilarious review of the benny tour. so go to the benny boards and read it now! LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA LAURA! speaking of laura.. i never did do that thing on my page for her... i will get around to it tho.. as soon as my NightMan part is finished!

i really feel like eating cheese and crackers. its almost bedtime so i won't.

i forgot to write all about the crazy weirdass dreams i had while i was in NYC. they were weird but i'll save them for tomorrow!

is it bed time.. i think so!

ciao for now!

Tonya -- Queen of All Things


january 10, 1999

hey chickies! que pasa?

i am well.. tired but well. i have all my school work finsihed for 2 days! go me :) figured out that meiosis stuff.. which is a load off my back for now! tomorrow is more school.. its going to be a good week tho. no reason it just will be!

my friend who i met in NYC, Emery saw the Benny tour yesterday and was a happy pappy girl. she also saw Tricia.. i think emery may be obsessed with tricia but i'm not sure :) she is also part of the camp that thinks that Julia looks a little horsey :)

today was a boring day. i went shopping with my sis and she bought me a hair clip that costed $28 without tax. is that pure crack or what?

yesterday i went to lara's housr with nat, lauren and lindsay. it was fun stuff. we sat, we talked, we ate, nat played with her food.. it was all goood.

i've been making more video deals today.. so i'm expecting 2 more which is mucho exciting for me! its addictive!

my goal this weeked was to start the NightMan portion of my site.. but it didn't happen. that is what next weekend is for n'est pas?

okay bedtime


ciao for now
tonya -- Queen of All Things


January 9, 1999

i just typed this beautiful entry... but it accidently got erased. here is a summary... my biology teacher is dumb.. i'm adding a nightman page to my site.. i'm broke and need a job... i'm shopping today with my x-mas gift certificates.. ER rocked on thursday... laura is/was obsessed with George Clooney too and i need to go!

Tonya -- Queen of All Things


January 6, 1999

hey this updates are becoming less and less frequent n'est pas? i will try better for all 2 of you that read it :)

first of all what is up with the crazy ass snow! it took me an hour and a half to get to school itnstead of forty five minutes.. not very berry fun.

been getting exam marks back. very fun stuff. i did okay ... not great but okay. for the amount of effort i put into these exams i got better results then i should have. scary isn't it. i SO didn't study. i was sick. plus it was post vancouver :)but i'm a generally happy pappy girl :) school is boring already.. but whatever i must deal n'est pas?

stupid janeen (who isn't really stupid) saw Saskia on NightMan again! i need a hobby i'm bored. something productive. i could do knitting or something.. i do know how. if i had a sewing machine i could sew that would be fun stuff. any suggestions. i have been so detached from the internet world for the past bit. i haven't been keeping up with the news :)not a single cybermelli journal have i read in ages! i'm in withdrawl! i need to e-0mail dev eventhough i heard she doesn't e-mail people :) but stil rocks :)

okay must go and be productive!

tonya -- queen of all things


January 3, 1999

hello you crazy chickas!

well tomorrow is back to school! how hellish n'est pas? i'm so not in the mood. i'm trying to get psyched for it.. but its not happening! i have all my binders nicely organized. my pencil case is restocked. and i get to go back to school and reap the terror that are my exam marks! sounds great. i really have no clue how i did on these exams.. so it will be a surprise for all. this term i will be a better girl tho. i kind of screwed around last term. i did my work and stuff but not as well as i could have. i was too busy! i mean the whole first term i was just waiting for it to be time for Vancouver. its so funny if you look through my binders you'll find all these calculations on how much i spent on Vancouver and these planning designs and cost lists for the Mimi doll i made for saskia. its hilarious! but no more of that.. right!

lisa cow is in Florida right now. probably just getting home from seeing the show. and her Christine. lisa you need to be more excited! you are seeing (did see) Christine! i talked to her the on saturday i think.. not as hyper as i would have been if i were seeing a certain someone :) speakinf of rent companies.... benny tour is in East Lansing over March break.. can someone please slap me before i get any ideas :)

i had a wonderfully unproductive day. i didn't go outside... didn't do anything really. actually that is a lie i scanned pictures. my mom bought me an ice cream sandwhich. it need more ice cream and less sandwhich in my opinion! what else... had a nice talk with my twin (laura). we did the reminiscing thing about RENT. it was fun... but happy/sad. its fun to think about all the good times and stuff... but then you rememeber that its all gone. but in all honesty i'm totally happy that RENT is over. don't take it the wrong way! i love the show, i love the friends i made, i love the cast (most of them and some more than others)... but lets all just stop and think how much time, energy and MONEY we've (i've) put into this. i was sitting here trying to get i rough estimate on how much money i've spent including travelling and stuff is easily over $2500. see now i'm thinking that i didn't even KNOW that $2500 had ever passed through my hands. i had a great time .. but in retrospect thats a shit load of money. so there is that issue. then the whole fact that i spent my ENTIRE summer down there...and possibly did shitty on my final exams cause of it. but then there are all the AMAZING things. i've made a group of friends that just rock my world. plus the fact that i went through this crazily overly emotional thing. let me just say that i used to be the least emotional person... as in my whole I DON'T CRY thing. i mean i've always been compassionate and stuff... but i guess i've never had to sit down and just feel. with RENT i DID feel... its weird. i guess RENT is some bizarre therapy or something crazy assed like that who knows!

on another note... Lauren comes back tomorrow! woohoo... i've missed the little stalker :) annnnnnndddddd its Jenifer's birthday tomorrow. so its good stuff n'est pas? okay bedtime!

ciao bellas and have a wonderful first day back!

tonya -- Queen of All Things


January 2, 1999

hello chickies!

happy new year... happy new year... happy neewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

and how is the new year for everyone? mine has been extremely excellent! its a very happy new year! i've made two bootleg deals. so now i'm getting 3 videos in total. so i'm a very berry happy tiger. none of them are canadian tho. if anyone out there in cyber land has a canadian rent video... please please please hook me up. there will be some serious trading involved since they are impossible to find!

i joined sonic which has been very berry fun. its never ending crack. i opened my e-mail this morning and i had 34 messages in total! i love e-mail! and i've been answering my e-mail all day! i'm in such an e-maily mood that i e-mailed my sister. i haven't done that in ages cause in her last e-mail to me she was a bitch. so i e-mailed her. and i got some good news about someone trying to e-mail me but it not working. its made my day i think. i think i've probably been a hyper spaz all day!

i've also been sick all day. i was supposed to go out with my friend. but i have cramps.. like i do every month so i've been barfy. so its not good. my doctor gave me pills that don't work.. so now i use my sisters tylenol 3 that she got when she had her wisdom teeth pulled. they seem to do the trick! :)

today i got 2 e-mails from Janeen. always a pleasure. she saw saskia on NightMan! lucky ducky! i'm all pumped for NIghtMan tonight.. hopefully she will be on.. but who knows!

i've started making a trish page. its not as elaborate as the sas page. but i thin it will rock. i'm trying different techniques and maybe sharpening my html skills on it too... but i'm not too sure yet. i think trish deserves a page. i've toyed around with the idea before and if i had been home all break i would have made it already. deanna already has a trish page. so now trish will have two pages which is cool. she's with the benny tour now. nat and renee delivered my card to her in Ft. Myers. and lisa cow will see her tomorrow... lucky ducky!

must go and occupy my self now

love ya!
tonya -- queen of all things!


December 31, 1998

I'm back babies i'm back.. be thrilled

NYC was very berry interesting let me recap the entire trip for y'all

so i get to NYC at 6am and head straight for the Nederlander to get Dev and i standing room for that night's show. no one is in line so i played at the bus station for like 4 hours until the tickets went on sale.

then i headed to brookly to my uncle's place where i slept from 11 until about 3.. i was so tired from that stupid bus ride.

then i had to go meet dev and crystal on the corner of 34th and 7th. okay there are 4 corners to that intersection each holding no less than a thousand people per corner. could i find dev and crystal.. NO!! so i called her and she said she would be there in 2 minutes. about 15 minutes later no dev and crystal. so i'm about to call dev again and i see her down the street. its all good. so then we make our way from 34th and 7th to the Neder which is at 41st and 7th so that we can try the magical lottery. of course we didn't win but its all good cause we had kick ass SRO.

to kill time we go eat at the wonderful establishment that is Sbarros and then we go to this arcade to take sticker pcitures and stuff of us all together. time passes. we get back to the Neder and check the cast board. FUCK ME HARD ! tamara is off! so dev and i decide that we will have to come back the next week and make sure that we see tamara. but on the bright side YASSMIN WAS ON AS MIMI!!!!! some of you may know that i have a Yas thang. i saw her as maureen in september and she rocked so i really wanted to see her as Mimi. who else was off... well Manley (who is VERY manly) was on as Roger... not an understudy but worth mentioning anyways.

the show rocked. Manley was AMAZING. he did a really good Glory that night. YAS ROCKED MY WORLD. her Mimi is different. kind of scary and dark. she's not as playful as most people cause she has an edge to her which was really good. her OT rocked hard... dev and i decided that she was born to be on the bars eventhough she used to be afraid of them or something. Jim was a lot better than the last time we saw him. i actually didn't want to gauge his eyes out. Alia (joanne) was good. i didn't' think she was amazing but i thought her Joanne was really really strong. she just graduated from NYU apparently or something. carly as maurenn ... OY VEY!!!! i always feel bad for people when their OTM sucks. i couldnt' laugh it just wasn't happening at all. she's really prety tho. but totally traditionally pretty.. like a barbie doll. Michael (collins) was really good. i loved his Santa Fe. Jose is the BIGGEST ANGEL THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!! he is huge. he was good but didn't define himself that much i thought. he wasn't really playful or anything on stage. but he was still good... i didn't have to oy vey like with carly. i love Jacques as benny! not as hot as damian but this guy rocked my world as benny to hard! oh yeah jai came on as a cop for two seconds.

after the show dean and jai didn't come out. erica (swing on as mark's mom) said they left after contact. erica is very very sweet. it snowed like a bitch that night and she came out all happy cause she is from Anaheim and had NEVER seen snow in her life. i admired Yas from a distance. then we left

next day i had tickets to go see Alvin Ailey which is this kick ass black dance company. so i slept all day and then went to see the show which rocked my world to bits. my sister wants to make it an x-mas tradition or something corny like that.

next day... CHRISTMAS. i hate christmas let me just tell y'all right now. it just annoys me! but i got this coolio custom made photo album with leopard print and a boa going around the edge... to satisfy my mimi vibes :) i got a book, HMV and GAP gift certificates, the les miz soundtrack and money.. oh yeah and a book. then i slept :)

the next day was adventure in NYC day! we went to the village where i went to kinkos to get myself on the internet. then we strolled thru the village and decided that we wanted to go to midtown. WE WALKED 70 BLOCKS!!!!!!!!! it was crazy ass shit man! we wanted to go to midtown to see a movie and we ended up not seeing a movie! it was craziness. plus it was the day after x-mas so the streets were packed!

okay the next day i was sick so i slept all day. then the day after i spent the whole day in bed and watched talk shows and for some reason backstreet boys were on e everyone! what up with that? then we toook my sister the bus station and my mom said she wanted to stay until saturday and i stopped talking.

the next day was also adventure in NYC day. it was the day of Footloose, RENT, and NYC fans :) got in line for Footloose but had to run to the nEded to get SRO for RENT cause there were already people in line. got the tickets ran over to the Footloose theatre. chilled with amy, emery and ari.. who all rocked. got kick ass tickets for footloose.then we decided to wander the city. dev wanted to see the tree so i took her there. then she was curious about FAO Schwartz.. the big ass toy store. so we trekked along 5th avenue for like 30min IN THE RAIN to get there. when we got there, there was a huge line to get in. but the wonderful and ever talented dev saw a sign that said FURBYS. she talked to the gueard and found out that there were FUrb'ys inside and that she wanted one.. so did emery. so we went in got furby's and ezplored FAO. too much fun ... i felt like i was 5 i wanted to buy so much shit! but i didn't. eventually we ended up at the Edison cafe for lunch where the waitress was rude to emery when she asked what a kishka was.

FINALLY ITS FOOTLOOSE TIME!!!!!! so we have a pee break and go to our seats. Dina aka CRATEGIRL is there. whatever. we sit down talk to the conductor who is on some messed up crack. he was great! the show starts. i realized that jeremy was no longer a frog but has blossemed into hot stuff! the show rocked. not deep AT ALL but still very good. the chickie who plays Rusty is DA BOMB! i love her! after the show its raining like a bitch. Jeremy comes out and decided to be noble and usher all the 12 year olds under the marquee so that they don't get wet from the rain. i got a pic with jeremy and i told him that i saw himi in RENT in TO. i didn't say he was good ... i just couldn't. sooooooo things happen that escape me. i know that at some point i paid 5$ for blank tapes to tape RENT that night. dev and i try to go on the internet but its busy. we eat. we try the lotto where there were no less than 300 people there...crazy ass shit! we check the board. FUCK ME HARD! no tamara.. carly again! BUT DEAN IS ON AS GORDON!!!!! so that was good stuff. shayna as soloist and erica as marks mom.

we leave we come back. amy, ari and emery come from backstage and said they were just talking to dean. fuck me hard.. why weren't' we theere! but we learn that he is leaving for LA to be roger on monday! go dean! and also that matt is leavign which means chad is going earlier or something. dev is sad cause she bought real tickets for another day. sooooo show starts. MARCY IS ON FIRE!!!!!1 chickie had so much energy during OT. Dev and i decided to cause a ruckus whenever dean said somethign. so its like gordon (wooooooooooooo) or rudolph the red nosed reindeer (woooooooooooooooooooo). CRACK. just like in september with us and tamara... i think we will be banned from the Neder. Carly's OTM still was shaky. but ehr TMOLM rocked! at intermission dev and i decided to get dean goodbye flowers. so we ran 7 blocks in the freakin rain to get him flowers. but we made it in time! go us! oh yeah! during LVB manley's guitar plug flew out and the cat cracked up .. it was great. so second act rocked.. whatever. after dev and i snuck into this discussion thing the cast was having with this school group from vancouver. we saw dean and practically ran in. we gave him the flowers and we were talking to him on the side while the discussion was going on..but then he realized that he should be in his seat so he said he's talk to us after. so discussion thing happened... managed to learn nothing AT ALL!!!! but it was still cool. it was fun stuff. carly, alia, dean, jim, jose, manley (who is manly), erica, shayna and byron. oh yeah darrly was walking around like a crazy man cuase he was waiting for shayna. after the discussion i decided to talk to carly. so i told her that i saw her on tueday and i was wondering if it was her first maureen.. not to be rude cause i know she has only been there for 3 weeks. she was really sweet and it was actually her second one. i got a pic with the barbie after. and with jose, jim and of course dean. okay how is dean the SWEETEST person in the world! he was mucho coolio with us. then he left us. oh yeah tamara is vocallyt very sick and off for a while. okay then the nex day i got on a bus and went home so here i am! that was long n'est pas! now i must go!


tonya -- queen of all things!


December 21, 1998

howdy all! well look i didn't update yesterday! i think it just may be a first in my journal history... i could be wrong tho. OMG so today i was at my hairdresser's. And he's doing my hair and out of the complete and total blue he says "so have you talked to Sas?" okay so i froze. he knows i love RENT but i have never ever mentioned Saskia to him i don't think. We've talked about Karen, Divine (he likes the note) and Jen, cause back in the day she was my favourite. But i'm so sure we have never ever ever talked about Saskia! Plus he called her Sas... how weird!! He's never even SEEN RENT... i should have gotten down to the mystery but i was way to weirded out!

yesterday i was supposed to go to Hannah's but i couldn't cause my mom didn't want me going to Whitby by myself. But i will see Hannah one of these days .. soon i hope! but i ended up going to see Les Miz with Laura, Dani, Elizabeth and Lisa P. and Alice. It was interesting stuff. Laura made the waiter in Shopseys hate us cause she accidently yelled at him. he didn't love us at all! we went to Sugar Mountain where i stocked up on Chupa Chups once again. We eventually ended up at Les Miz...which once again rocked my world. Tim had to go out with Regan after the show so we all couldn't talk or anything. Are those two going out or something or are they just friends... i don't really care its just me inquiring. after the show i was so tired that i fell asleep at 7:30 and woke up at 5:00am... not good stuff!

i'm so so so so so very bored right now you don't even understand! i need something to do. maybe i'll get my ass of the comp and go read my book. i'm reading She's Come Undone. its good stuff. OMG the funniest thing just happened. I was sitting here and something happend and i said goddamm like i always do. so my mom was like you gotta stop with that. and isaid it will be hard. and my sis ter was like why do you say that all the time. and i replied cause its just my thing. so she said that i should stop because its hurtful to others who have some sort of an inkling of belief in anything! i found that so very berry funny. i think i started saying goddam after i read Catcher in the Rye. Its all about Holden peer pressuring me!

I need something interesting to write. got e-mail from dev.. are NYC plans are being put into action! its a good thing. laura and i spent some quality time looking for websites about a show that we mutually watch..but that i'm afraid of writing here out of shame :) i want someone to make me a website. its not a hint don't worry. i think it would fun to be relatively famous. not big ass famous ... just a little. i want to be a broadcast journalist so its all good n'est pas?

okay tis all for now!
Tonya -- QUeen of All Things


December 19, 1998

Howdy ho all you crazy cats! Well well can I just say that it feels sooooooooooooooooooo good to not have ANY school work to be thinking about doing! I'm not joking this is so fun. I can totally just do nothing for the next two weeks! I'm a happy pappy girl! Today I was subjected to Christmas shopping hell. I had to go downtown with my sister and buy presents. Can I just tell y'all that I really really hate buying presents. I hate the mall, I hate the street, I hate the crowds…its all pretty painful. I'd rather MAKE gifts than buy them. I mean when you make a gift there's that whole feeling of accomplishment and stuff. Today my sister said that one of my presents is something I'll be very very surprised and really really happy about. Either she doesn't know my emotions or this is one hell of a gift. It takes a lot to get me really really excited… so I can't wait to find out what it is! She wouldn't even give me clues at all… I asked if it was something I could hold and she wouldn't say. I honestly don’t think that any material thing could really bring me that much joy. I'm honestly sitting here trying to think of something that you could buy that would make me deliriously happy. I mean there are things I want… but they would probably entertain me for a bit then I would move on. Except for what I said I wanted on the boards (hehehe) Oh well, we will see n'est pas?

I had to baby-sit tonight. From 7 until 1. It was so so so so boring!!!!!! I can't deal with being awake so late by myself. I practically finished reading How To Make An American Quilt. Its an okay book, nothing to special. DSAM I forgot to eat ice cream while I was there! They have so many flavours and I forgot! Oh well at least I ate brownies, chips and toast.. so it was a worthwhile endeavour  its all good tho.

Tomorrow guess what I'm seeing again…. LES MIZ!!!!!!!!!!! I'm way too excited about it I think. It’s a great show. Plus it means getting to see Tim again… and maybe talking to Susan  don’t worry Les Miz isn't a cult like RENT okay all you crazies! Its just a beautiful show! Maybe I'll take pictures or something after and scan them so that you all can see the joy that is Tim. Oh yeah the Tim thing isn't me thinking he is hot.. its not a "crush". He is just a sweet guy. OMG I was watching ER on Thursday and how HOT was GEORGE CLOONEY looking!!!!!!!! In the beginning when he was brushing his teeth…. Greatness. See I used to have a George Clooney thing. I probably have every magazine that he was on the cover of from the first 2 or 3 seasons of ER. I could probably tell you everything about his life. Here is a tidbit: his family used to be good friends with Jerry Springer, but now George has lost ALL respect for him.

Okay now I must go!
Ciao bellas!
Tonya -- Queen of All Things!!!!!!!!!


December 18, 1998

Well exams are finally over!!!! i think i rocked my politics exam that i totally winged today! which is a good thing. i finished 30 mins early so my teacher let me leave... so then i met dani, laura (my obsesser.. not to be confused with my stalker), lauren and nat.. and we chilled. we ate, we talked, me computersized, we watched the box filled with pictures.. it was fun under the sun. i mey my friend rachael for breakfast this morning. it was cool we talked... it wasnice to see her again i guess. its so weird hanging with her and the hanging with rent friends after.. i hate saying rent friends .. you all are just friends okay :) we talk about old stuff.. like when we were actually really good friends. now we just know that we are supposed to be best friends.. its strange. its not that we don't like each other... we have just drifted. i'm sure we will be close one day i guess.. whatever i'm so not thinking about that right now!

i can't believe i'm leaving in 5 days! its crazy ass shit. what is even crazier is that as soon as i get off the bus i'm going right to the Neder to get SRO for me and dev to see that nights show! how raunchy is that! its going to rock.. what would really rock is if YASSMIN IS ON AS MIMI!!!!!!!! okay i have a Yas thing. see what happened is when i went to NYC in september she was maureen and she was INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! and then i heard stuff about her Mimi and i soooooooooo want to see her on as it. i heard that marcy is off for that lets pray :) i was thinking how weird would it be to see someone i care about in Rent again. i mean yes dean rocks, and tamara and jai... but i mean someone i would have been really really really off the wall excited to see... like lets say.. hmmmmmmm i dunno this chickie i heard of named saskia. that would rock so much... or maggie.. that is who i would really want to see on B-way. oh well you can't win them all can you?

I'm in such a bizarrley happy mood its not even funny. i feel like singing in the mountains! i dunno why. i'm just floating on air because of happiness.. and its not like anything particularlly wonderful happened really. i love that! being deliriously happy for no reason in particular! its a great feeling. it really is i'm not joking. oh man! nat and renee are leaving very berry soon for Florida! bye bye girls! bon voyage.. and nat dont forget to deliver you silly little thing :)

i need to archive these journals soon.. but i'm way too lazy to do that! but i will. i was thinking alot about vancouver today. weirdness huh? i remember everything perfectly still which rocks. like first getting there and seeing the line. and then dani jumping me cause i hadn't seen her in like a millenium. being in the show again.. and ogling damian and talking way to much about a certain catfish :) then fast forward through the week.. which was incredible. we all had so much fun in line and stuff.. the shows were great. and then sad was that (except for me and my happy twin laura because we weren't cryers right.. except for when i started a bit :) ). its weird i just remember everything.. saying hello saying goodbye. okay point is that vancouver was possibly the most amazing thing ever! the end :)

nightie night homies!
Tonya -- the happy Queen of All Things


December 17, 1998

hey cool cats! i'm feeling kind of dry.. my writing is getting slower and slower. i'm talking to six people on IM right now and its confusing as hell! i'm not putting any paragraphs in this entry i'm not in an html mood. soooo had the english exam today.. whatevre no big deal. i don't like them... i never do as well as i think that i should. tomorrow its politics and then it is HOLIDAY TIME!!!!!! woohoo! and then on tuesday its NYC time.. and i get to see Dev.. who did an amazing job of giving me props in her journal. Dev you know you are da bomb too so don't even deny it okay girlie. i should link you when i say your name.. but i'm on html strike so i can't now. but everyone reading go to dev's page.. glittergrrl.. it rocks you can get to it from my link section okay :)still NO CLUE when i'm coming back.. i kind of sort of want to be home for New Years.. i don't know why. i have this little thing in my stomach that says that i'll miss something big and its driving me crazy!!!! but we will see n'est pas. I WANT TO SEE MY HANNAH BANANA!!!!!!! that is my spaz for the day.. i don't think i've seen her since vancouver have i? maybe i will one of these days... of course i will becuase she is banana girl! and my doll making buddy. hmmmm what else.. nothing more for now. i still can't believe that RJA shaved her head! ciao! tonya -- Queen of All THings


December 16, 1998

well today was a pretty dry day. i had my math exam that i think went well. i went babysitting and the kids were very loud and annoying. my mom bought me a lollipop and seasame crackers! not much happened... i didn't see helen (my stalker). i think she senses that i'm telling people about her! that's a good thing. I've decided i want to make friends with the scary bus driver lady that i get a lot. i ride her bus almost everyday. i think i'll start smiling, then i'll say hi. then we can start to chat! maybe she'll even get a holiday card! you don't understand how scary this chickie is! she never looks happy, but she drives the bus really well!

wanna know who isn't scary... saskia :) see i was just sitting here thinking.. as i avoid studing for english. she's a really nice person. nice is a cheap adjective i know.. but she is nice. okay you know how you say that people who aren't mean or bad are nice... well she is just nice... i think i'm in a RENT mood today i'll stop babbling okay :) hey! i'm seeing rent in a weeek.. how weird is that? it would be fun if i could fly back and forth from TO to NYC over the holiday... i don't feel like dealing with that city right now! oh well i know people who would LOVE to be there... right laura :) so i will be happy :) "hi to all won-ton's readers!! just to let you know you're da bomb, you kick ass, it's all about you, rentheads ROCK, and so does love aka tonya's journal!!"
Lots of Love, Phat Nat
that was from the ever styling ever funky Nat :)

okay i'm outtie.. i have nothing to say really!
tonya -- Queen of All Things


December 15, 1998

howdy ho ranger joes! today is my one year anniversary from seeing RENT! woohhoo go me! funny how things end up n'est pas? i'll tell y'all my RENT history okay :) soooooooo i saw RENT on Rosie.. loved it made my mom buy me the cd. loved the cd. went to NYC TRIED to see RENT but tickets were SOLD OUT. then i heard it was coming to our fair city and i CLOSED my bank account and bought me and my mom tickets. saw the show loved the show. walked out thinking that maureen and mimi (jen and krysten) rocked the show. me and my mom planned on coming again but towards the end of the run. so then one day the grade 10 gym students got to go see RENT. i couldn't go because i stopped taking gym. but this girl got sick so i got to use her ticket. that was the matinee of march 11... saskia's first official show as mimi.. it was an omen :) so i loved the show again. then i started visiting the boards and the chat and i became chums with nat from vaughan (nat) and nat's friend lauren (lauren). the rest is history. started doing the line every weekend. went to ottawa went to vancouver. built a little site.. whatever. never predicted RENT would be all that it has.

today was the bio exam. its really fun to look at the exam and realize that you don't know what some of the words mean. i was laughing so hard. aside from not know ing some stuff the exam went fairly well. i must sound like such a ditz, i'm always talking about doing shitty on exams and tests. I AM NOT A DITZ! i do great in school.. its just that this year exams are making me pissy!

i feel like talking about my stalker. i think i will describe her for you all. she is a little shorter than me and has beige hair. when i say beige its not really..its more blond with black in it. she is a chain smoker and she wears a black puffy jacket that is kind of fitted. she also wears black jeans and black boots. its kind of strange having a stalker. i think i'll give her a name.. maybe helen. she is probably about 30. i wonder if other people can see my stalker. i will have to see next time. could she be a ghost or something or an angel? that could be interesting. i didn't see helen today tho which is good.

i can't believe i'm going to NYC so soon! i don't really wanna go! my motivation is dev. i love dev. dev is one cool chicka. so dev is my motivation for NYC... dev and rent and the party i hear is happening in jeremy's pants. there are a bunch of other shows i wanna see too.. oh well we will have to see. i'm going to cut the vacation short so that i can come home early and see my friends and stuff. i want to just be able to relaxe at home. i haven't been home for x-mas since i was 8 i think.. i've always been in NYC. but we shall see :)

I'm having breakfast with my kind of sort of bestfriend on friday. we were best friends since we were 6 or something. now its weird i never ever call her or anything. she just doens't understand what i'm up to these days. like the whole rent thing blows her mind. she doesn't get it. so that is disturbing that she isn't willing to deal with a major part of what i've been doing over the past couple of months. its so much easier to talk to my friends that i've made at rent.. its strange. especially since we've all been through so much together. i mean ottawa, vancouver.. even Toronto was an adventure. but whatever i'm seeing her on friday... it will be interesting.

oh yah! last night was chad's other show thing at Holy Joe's. i hear it was quite the entertaining evening. guess who was there... if you said tricia then you were right! i would like to thank brooke a million and one times for delivering my letter to tricia. i'm a happy happy tiger. many many happy pappy things have been happening in the happy happy world of me :)

now i must go because my mom is catching on that i'm not studying for math right now.
ciao bellas!
tonya -- Queen of All Things


December 14, 1998

Howdy ho all you sexy young thangs :) see that is me being way to hyper at 12:30am. I think i may be having a crack attack. or it could be that i have a biology exam and my knowledge is somewhat limited! i think i need something... maybe some teeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa. or maybe i need to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (that is me being a rhyming fool).

today was a fun filled day. i had my economics exam which rocked. i went to subway on yonge BY MYSELF and had a veggie delight. its such a grown-up thing to eat by yourself.. its empowering. i even sat by the window and watched the world go by and scare a kid! go me! and i went into a used record store and found 3 treasures that i know some folks out there want.

ack brack! chad is performing right now. strum strum strum the guitar. beat beat the drum. that is my song okay :)maybe trish trish tricia will be there. for all of you don't know me tricia is tricia young... alexi in RENT canada. Chad was mark. Saskia was Mimi. Tim is marius in les miz. and that is all that is semi-relevant to all i'm saying okay chaps. i gave two people letters to give her incase she is there... am i not queen of crack filled activities.

I feel like analyzing shit... bare with me okay :)so the scary chickie that was at LEs Miz has been bugging me... WAIT OMG OMG OMG I HAVE A STALKER!!!!! no joke!! i see this woman EVERYDAY.. and not just in normal places at the same time! i even saw her at 6:15am on saturday on my way to les miz! stalker i think so... my mom thinks its the crack talking.. but it is not. anyway back to the Colum fan :) she had to LIE to her husband so she could line up for tickets.. how sad is that? she has to LIE to do something she enjoys... what kind of relationship is that... its sick. and when i'm older if i'm ever in a situation like that smack me upside the head and take me to Marche.

OMG its sooo late i need to go go go
nightie night all you cool cats who be chillin in da crib
tonya -- Queen of All Things


December 13, 1998

howdy ho! well today i was a busy busy girl..i STUDIED!!!!!!! go me n'est pas? In the process i missed the chance to venture out to Richmond Hill so i could see Jade, Hannah whom i haven't seen in AGES who i also miss soooooooo much, my obsesser Laura who i saw on Friday but who i love to see anyway and a whole slew of people! So i better do well on this exam becuase i missed out on fun because of it!

Then tonight i got dragged to this TERRIBLE movie. I don't even remember the name. All i know is that it starred Holly Hunter, Queen LAtifah and Danny Devito. It really sucked!

MOre les miz stuff... Colm's voice was really low and he was hard to understand... i didn't mention that last night. But Colm has a beautiful voice... he must be so conceited.. look at all the hype he gets man its crazy! I spent the day finding les miz sound clips off the net. Les Miz rocks.. i want to see it again before it leaves :)

Tomorrow is Chad's other show. I have two people who if they see Tricia will give her a letter i wrote. Hopefully she will be there. If what we have been hearing is true then she will be there..but we will have to see :)I was thinkng that if i reallly wanted to have seen the show at the Rivoli i could have taken my sister's ID... i know i don't loook 26..but can a certain person coughdanicough really be 22? just a thought :)

that is all for now! nightie night!
Tonya -- Queen of All Things


December 12, 1998

SO this is HAPPY TONYA today :) All that stuff from last night is still bugging me but i just saw Les Miz and it ROCKED MY WORLD!!!! It was just incredible. Everyone was just great.. it was more than i expected.. which is a good thing :) it was cool to finally see these people that i have seen backstage for the past two weeks do their thang :)Susan Gilmour rocked... her voice is so beautiful.. and after when we talked to her she was sweet. and she is married to Michael Burgess :) (canada day anyone?) BUt Les Miz was wowee zowee.. i don't even know what to write about it!

OMG so there is this cult of Les Miz viewers. They are like rentheads but they are like 3 or 4 times our age. ITS SO COOL (but really weird). they have their internet community and people fly in to see the show. and they take pictures with them and talk to them after the show. its so weird... i mean we are young we are allowed to be crazy.. but they are old they should be sensible. It was a weird experience.. it was like listening to us talk... quite shocking. they were all comparing how many times they've seen the show and how early they have to line up and who they've seen play what. Then they started talking about closing and how thy have front row tickets and stuff! And this one scary lady who calls Colm - Colum is going to see him in IRELAND!!!!!!!! Its like us and Vancouver! So the chickie was interesting... and we met Maggie Mathiesons (?) mom in line :). OH yeah i lined up with lauren at 7am. and she got her hair down and looks stunning :)

this is it for now!
ciao bellas :)
Tonya -- Queen of All Things

P.S. right now a certain pervy person is making me talk to some chickie from Buffy... its weird but she is talking and i think i'm going to have to hurt this pervy person :)


December 11, 1998

So tonight was adventure on Queen St. night. Laura is obsessed with me and i think i may be obsesed with her to :) hi laura i knowo you are reading this :)A posse of us headed on down to Queen St. to chill and possibly see Chad perform.. cool? whatever. So all week i'm psyched cause i'm thinking maybe i'll get to see Tricia. Then i get a card from Tricia.. even more motivation to want to see her. We go to the Rivoli and guess who is there... oh look Tricia! Guess who i DIDN'T talk to at all... Tricia! Laura tried to get me to.. but i couldn't. NOw i'm here kicking myself in the ass over not saying anything. How stupid am i? I'm trying that whole forget regret thing but it isn't happening. So i'm pissy. I havd the birthday feelingn right now. You know how you always think your birthday is going to be something magical and special and then it comes and you are like this sucked shit? well that is how i feel kind of. I mean i REALLY wanted to talk to Tricia... not even because of RENT but because i think she is a cool PERSON .. not a cool RENT PERSON.. just a person. SO now i'm sending telepathic vibes to tricia.. just joking whatever :)

okay so now for the story. i don't know where to start the story. i'll throw us into the middle of it. We go to the Rivoli thinking we are getting in and who is in front of us in line? Karen, Melanie and Tricia. weirdness at its best. nat was right it was jen's party all over again. Just that weird isolation of being in two seperate worlds eventhough we were all in the same room. So it was weird... i guess cold... but not really cold. its hard to describe really. but it was definitely weird. karen said hi , that was nice. whatever they went in, we stayed out. its funny tho...i don't go into anything with high expectations, i just think that it is wrong because there is always the probability of being let down. but you know when you just want more. i don't know what to write... i have ideas and stuff but putting them down in this journal isn't working right. i'm kind of wishing i hadn't gone down there... and its funny because its not even like it was RENT fieldtrip... i honestly wanted to hear chad play... so don't go thinking it was some weird adventure.. for me it wasn't. going to see chad play is the same as us going to Indy fest for jen.. same thing. only difference is that rent is over. hmm there must be a connection somehow. they don't have to make us happy anymore... its over all ties are severed? could that be it? i don't know! okay so whatever.. went to Queen saw Tricia and karen (whom i both love) didn't say anything end of story. maybe one day i'll have my moment of realization and come on and sound brilliant :)

So then we went to go talk to Tim.. can i say that Tim is so nice! How happy did Tim make us all feel. he didn't say anything in particular but he is just such a happy guy. I thinnk i need my own personal Tim to just sit and watch TV and mow the lawn and then just say something cool every once in a while :) Tomorrow i get to see tim in the show.. which will rock. so i'm happy :)

Okay i still have RENT on the brain.. i don't like that. RENT has just screwed us all so much. It's weird its like the happiest i've ever been but at the same time it just comes along with so much.. extra stuff. yes rent was happy happy happy. i mean its an AMAZING show.. i've made INCREDIBLE AMAZING STUPENDOUSLY FABULOUS FRIENDS ( i love you guys i really do :) ) ... i've met some incredibly talented people (who for some reason i really really do care about) and it was just a kick ass experience. BUt then with it comes all the sad stuff like saying goodbye, people and their shit, questioning little things ... just stuff like that. its honestly a cult... i understand why now. i don't want to forget about it... i still love the whole thing.. but yes it is over. i know that, and i don't think i'm like trying to hold on to it... but its just a different stage now. Its funny how RENT like takes over. Like i hardly ever talk to my bestfriend anymore... how terrible is that? mainly becuase for the past 8 months i've been at the theatre every weekend. and what is even funnier is that i don't really care that much.. is that bad? its just weird. okay so the conclusion is RENT is a cult, Queen St was probably a bad idea, i regret not talking to Tricia and i'm wondering if i'll ever see the people that really matter again. Hannah is coming in this weekend.. i love hannah i really do.. she needs to live in Toronto :)

i'm sick of babbling i'll go now :)

ciao for now!
Tonya -- who is still Queen of All Things :)


December 10, 1998

Howdy ho everyone!
well its been quite the eventful week , day whatever. Exams are in their full swing and glory. I'm on medicatin that makes me drowsy so i can't think... its not fun. I had my geographie exam where i called teh Himalayas the Andes and couldn't remember what the Andes were actually called so i called them the cordilliere de l'ouest. So i'm not to happy.. oh well what can you do?

In school all our teachers have been letting us out early or not making us come to class which is fun. Lauren's dog had an erection which is fun for the dog but not for LAuren. I'm seeing Les MIz (finally) on Saturday! I'm mucho excited! Its supposed to be so bomb. I got an x-mas card in the mail which was thrilling since i NEVER get x-mas cards all to myself. They are always to family and stuff. So i'm a happy camper (plus it was from Tricia which is double happiness).

I'm not really feeling to inspired to write tonight... i need to study! Oh yeah i'm going to New York for x-mas as usual. That means RENT and Footloose for me and Dev (who rocks my world :) ). But Dev is using me for my student discount which i don't mind at all since as stated above Dev rocks my world :) Too bad i have ZERO money. Its all because of Van... i just haven't had any money since vancouver (and since i bought my scanner). So i will be in NYC but broke..but with Footloose and RENT on yhe brain :)

C'est tout pour maintenat!
Tonya -- (Queen of All Things)


December 7, 1998

wrote another great entry but it got weirded out and deleted! oh well i'm over that now :) I had a marvelous smashing day! lots of "revelations" and "insights" into the goings on of the internet world. I feel enlightened!

We had a kick ass x-mas assembly at school today. Our teachers have so much school spirit its sick! I won't go into details but it involved Spice Girls, my french teacher dressing up as a hoochie momma and men in drag. it was pure greatness. and i'm so happy to be a senior. the senior assembly is so much more hype than the junior one.

what else... i have to go to my dumbass doctor tomorrow... i'm still knocked over with this mystery cold / flu / hell.. whatever it is. I can't hear or talk! not a good thing esp. when i have a drama play to do. My drama teacher who knows that i'm like dying gave me notes on my performance that said that i need to articulate! well.. maybe if i could TALK i could fix that n'est pas? oh well our play is cute.. its based on a children's story book my group is full of slackers who skip alot which isn't fun. But somehow we have managed to pull together a play :) yeah so my doctor is dumb. when i was 8 he told me i was fat! if i didn't have the confidence i did i would have been emotionally scarred! plus i wasn't even fat!

exams are rapidly approaching.. not good. no clue about anything history related i think. but i'm doing well enough in history that if i do OKAY its not that bad. But i dont' want to do okay i want to do well! so i will try my best right? Lauryn Hill was just on The music awards.. she rocked. she did some crazy ass shit with her harmonies.. enjoyable but really really weird. That Thing was a totally different song! still cool tho cause lauryn is a goddess i think :)

okay this chicka needs to do some work. so i will go off to my land of school work that is mildly amusing and probably not that useful.. yet i am still motivated :)
the Queen of All Things,

********************************************************************** December 6, 1998

So today was one of those completely interesting imspiring days... i wrote this beautiful journal about it at 2pm but then my stupid computer froze so it is no more :( so i will summarize what happened.

well last night was Laura (Taura1, Laurianaggie)'s SURPRISE bash at teh Devil. It was mucho fun. Dani and i danced with Martin and the badn guys thought we were on crack. We harassed Rhett and the cast of FAME. We met this guy Cat who we think may be Dean Balkwill in disguise. Same crazy ass shit. Cat is the sweetest guy in the world... he even took a pic of us! Then we went to Les Miz and harassed Tim. He knows Dean (real dean not cat dean) and he knows Thom and 2 Peggy's! Quite the adventure. Oh yeah Lauryn HIll was on SNL (which always makes me think of Maggie) and she sang our Vancouver anthem (That Thing).

So i wake up this morning and i have this wonderful fight with my mom and sister over the computer and school work. Let me point out that the computer is not the root of all evil! I still do well in school my lowest biology mark is 90% okay. So i was pissy. I was a drama queen. I was a diva. It was great i should have bootlegged. So i left my house went to McDonald's had fries and a coke. Went to the library for ten seconds... got bored came home. My sister cried.. which made me laugh because she has made ME cry and its kind of my sick redemption :)

I hate school. and i'm telling you all now that I'm going to be pissy all during exams. our teachers are retarded and not preparin us properly which really sucks. I'm really in the mood to go to Green Mango or have some sushi :)I think i need sushi right now. weird ass craving. I just had a grapefruit.. i want more. hm what else? Those darn dance classes. If you wanna dance with me at Randolph in the New Year e-mail me and we will work something out. I don't even care if i don't know you.. it will be in daylight so if you are a sicko i can run!

Today is all about DUNELAND by JENIFER AUBRY! I listened to it all day practically! it's such a beautiful thing. that chicka has so much talent its not even funny. i wish her all the best she deserves it.

oh yeah on Wednesday its Saskia's b-day! don't worry no bells and whistles.. there will be no Mimi doll part 2 okay :)One of my old best friends was born on Dec. 9 too. So all these years i thought i was celebrating his b-day when in reality i've been celebrating saskia's :) just kidding... its late i'm tired and very berry kookie. If Saskia had a RENT b-day NSKA day could have also been her b-day.. but it isn't :)

okay this chicka needs some sleep n'est pas?
ciao for now
Tonya (Queen of All Things)


December 4, 1998

Well happy happy day people! Guess what i was called down to the Vice Principal's office today! It was quite thrilling. I got one of those special pink slips that lets you get back into class. It wasn't my fault... i've been out of school sick for the past bit, and eventhough my mom phoned the school my stupid stupid ineffiecient Geopgraphie teacher reffered me to the office. But it's all good the secretary laughed and called him sutpid. I think i'll have my pink slip framed, it was just that exciting :)

I'm officially sick of being sick. First i had the flu, i still do actually. And then yesterday i had cramps, but I still had to go to school to do my drama play thingy for these grade one kids. It was fun but i was about to throw up in the middle which wasn't that fun. And now i can't hear... its really annoying my ears are plugged. so when i talk people can't understand me either, which is mildly amusing but still not fun. On the happy side i had ice cream from Baskin Robbins for lunch :)

Hmmmmmm what else is happening in my wonderful world? I'm still bitter about this Chad concert business! I was actually looking forward to going... but now there is that whole mess about IDs! ack nothing good comes out of being 16.. that is my conclusion. I don't even mean it in a "i don't want to live" way or anything. It's just a statement. I challenge anyone who is 16 or who has been 16 to come up with good things about being 16 :)

I have to go babysitting so that i can earn my New York City money soon i think. I'm actually in the mood to babysit! Watch now i probably won't. Christine (the kid i babysit for who is 4) and i are going to have a Spice Girls party tonight i think! it will be fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away :)

Alors c'est tout pour maintenant :) for all you non-french speaking people it means that is all for now! Nat has inspired me to speak french :)


December 2, 1998

Well welcome all! today is my very berry first journal entry!!! C'est mucho thrilling n'est pas? those are my stylish french skills at work
can i just say that at this moment i am LOVING school.. no joke! I've been sick for like the past 3 or 4 days and now i;m back in school. i have gotten out of SO many tests its not even funny! I've only written 1 out of 3 biology tests this year... which would explain why my mark is kick ass. And can you believe that exams start next week? i can't its pretty painful.. i SO can't study right now!

Today after school i went on a holy quest with Sadie to find this issue of NOW magazine with Saskia in it! Well we found it. It only cost like a dollar fifty which is a good thing. But it has a picture of her actually kicking ass...i'm not joking she is doing this like karate kick...i'll scan it for the world to see very very soon :) And then i had my first spinach pie which amused me way too much.
i'm really not feeling inspired to write right now so i will go! if you all have any suggestions for my little site.. feel free to e-mail me okay? okay :)
ciao for now